too young??

[bonfire]

Hey there. I met this nice guy through my best friend-he's her cousin. Anyway, after getting to know him, she informs me that he's 25 years old, turning 26. No big deal, except for one thing: I'm 19. Do you think this will become an issue? I mean, some older guys only want one thing with younger girls and I'm apprehensive about this. I've always dated guys that were only a couple years older. He has his own place-I live at home, he's got a good job-I'm still in University, he has his own car-I have to borrow my parents.

 

We get along well and he seems nice, although I don't know him very well. He told my friend that if I wanted to go out to a movie to just give him a call. I'm contemplating calling him tonight. I need advice please!!! Thanx!

[Tony T]

Call him and ask him if he wants to go to a movie. If he says no, I'll go with you, OK?

 

As far as what guys are out for, there are guys of most ages who are out for gals of most legal ages for one thing. There is no evidence that a 25 year old man would be more inclined to want a 19 year old for sex than, say, a 23 or 24 year old.

 

Seondly, I hope you will get in the habit of judging your relationships for yourself on how the other person relates to you personally and how you are treated.

 

Thirdly, I think it's an excellent sign that you have a guy interested in you who has made good progress in his life. There are many 40 and 50 year old men who don't have their own place, don't have a good job, don't have their own car. I think you have done pretty well in finding this guy who is ambitious and responsible.

 

You will find out in time if he is only after you for ONE thing. Just pay attention. But don't convict him ahead of time.

 

Unfortunately in this whole thing, when he is 100, you will be 94 and he will probably consider you WAY TOO OLD for him. Sorry!!!

[Nina]

As a girl who previously dated exclusively older guys, I can relate to your problems. In the end, i found that someone my own age was more compatible just because of lifestyle issues.

 

What you described above was a hurdle that interfered with all of my relationships with odler men. My boyfirends didn't understnad or accept that I lived with my parents and had a curfew and I got to hear a lot of whiney complaining whenever I couldn't sleep over, which is what they were used to with their previous girlfriends.

 

Also we had differet goals in life. Two of my ex boyfriends were ready to think about marriage in their late 20s and mid-20s when I was 18/19 and it was out of the question for me ot even contemplate. And while they worked at jobs or went to grad school I was still in undergrad and the level of my conversations wasn't as stimulating to them.

 

I found my love nad my fiance who is about a year older than I. We do similar things, have the same interests and the same pre-occupaitons in our everyday lives, so we have a lot to share. Our conversations are always stimulating because we have this synergy of understanding between us. Our range of life-experiences is similar.

 

I'm not saying that it isn't possible. My parents are 21 years apart. But they also had similar life-experinces and pre-occupations when they met because my Mom had a huge burden of responsibilty at a very early age. So age isn't the issue here. It's lifestyle. If you have similar interests and stuff, then go for it. If you have vastly different lives, though, a close relationship can be both painful and difficult.

[HHH_The_Man]

I think it's cool that you like older men. I guess it all depends on the person and where you are in life. I mean I'm seeing this girl now that is turning 20. I'm 28. We have a lot in common. We really click. It is a long distance thing but it's working out great. We both have our own place. Both are in college. I'm almost done though. She's in her second year. I never started out with her only wanting ONE THING though. Also we have that best-friend type relationship too. I think that makes a big diference too. She told me one reason she fell in love with me was b/c that I wanted to really get to know her and I wasn't just some dumb-ass that was out to nail her and that I never came across that way.

 

Hope this helps you out.

Hey there. I met this nice guy through my best friend-he's her cousin. Anyway, after getting to know him, she informs me that he's 25 years old, turning 26. No big deal, except for one thing: I'm 19. Do you think this will become an issue? I mean, some older guys only want one thing with younger girls and I'm apprehensive about this. I've always dated guys that were only a couple years older. He has his own place-I live at home, he's got a good job-I'm still in University, he has his own car-I have to borrow my parents. We get along well and he seems nice, although I don't know him very well. He told my friend that if I wanted to go out to a movie to just give him a call. I'm contemplating calling him tonight. I need advice please!!! Thanx!