Is dating for women 100% easier? Are men expendable to women?

[dasein]

Dating is not 100% easier for women, but is definitely significantly easier for average women than average men. Dating is not even an option for many average men, and it almost always is for average women. Speaking only in the U.S. IME, no idea about certain other cultures.

 

As far as being expendable, and interchangeable, women objectify men to at least the same degree that men objectify women. Good luck getting admission of this type of equal opportunity objectifying from many women though.

 

Socially and culturally today though, not just sexually, men are objectified much more than women, viewed with greater expendability and interchangeability than women, despite near infinite amounts of whinging about the "objectification of women." Proof of this can be had in all aspects of current media and social reactions to crimes perpetrated against women, injuries to women, female fatalities versus men as being a "great big deal" vs. "eh... too bad."

 

Many unjust social and legal results that happen to men every day seem to get new life breathed into their estimated significance when suffered by a woman. One example is a recent thread here where a woman who fired a gun to ward off a prospectively abusive (but not actually abusive in that moment) husband received a harsh assault sentence. This kind of thing and many other harsh results happens to men every day without much public notice, when it happens to a woman though, we take more notice.

[paperboy48]

but believe me if man had their pick, they would not even settle down. they would just bang a harem of the hottest women and live the pump and dump lifestyle.

 

 

Not this man!!

[CarboniteCammy]

Well, there's a dichotomy- women do the same thing... many of my female friends are like, "Well, you know how men are!!" And by that they mean flakey, cheap, two-timing, shallow... pretty much all the horrible things that I imagine men think about women.

 

IMHO, men and women make it difficult on each other in the dating world. I don't think that one is harder then the other. Women have their own set of issues to think about- what to wear, are we too fat, how can we be the "cool" girlfriend," and men have to worry about, "Am I short, do I make enough money, am I cool enough to get the girl I want, etc."

 

It's not easy out there and dating can be lonley, frustrating, and really hard on the self esteem no matter who you are.

 

My point is that male or female, if you're blaming an entire sex of people because you can't find someone worth your time, maybe you should look inside yourself. That's all. Maybe it's YOU who is coming off as shallow, materialistic or whatever.

 

I know plenty of women who aren't size five models who are VERY happily married and I know lots of guys who aren't six feet tall who are also happily married. I just don't think it's as simple as people what to make it to be.

[JesseJames]

I see mostly manly girls around. Their faces are manly, they dress like dudes, have beer guts, never give a lick about appearance, try to act like dudes...

 

At the same time of being like dudes, the girls attempt to make last ditch efforts in the name of femininity in all the wrong places with all the wrong actual males.

 

There aren't any available, strong, kind, feminine, mature, good-looking women in the first place.

 

It's truth to say that dating for a man is a zillion times harder these days.

[d'Arthez]

There aren't any available, strong, kind, feminine, mature, good-looking women in the first place.

They are there. Plenty of those around on this board alone.

[johan]

The key to happiness and success is to adapt to your surroundings. Whining about things and insisting the world adapt to you is the key to misery and failure. The world rarely changes to favor the guys who can't cope with things as they are. It always is changed by guys who can and do cope, and it then favors them more.

 

And calling out for pity is the surest way to ensure you get mostly disdain. Especially when you're a man.

[Oxy Moronovich]

They are there. Plenty of those around on this board alone.

How would you know women on this board are like this? Have you met plenty women on this board?

[JesseJames]

They are there. Plenty of those around on this board alone.

 

There is gold in them thar hills as well, but you'll never see it unless you're one lucky digger. It's mostly overburden these days.

[Kamille]

How would you know women on this board are like this? Have you met plenty women on this board?

 

Hey D'Arthez, anytime .

[paperboy48]

What makes a guy or girl for that matter average?

[d'Arthez]

How would you know women on this board are like this? Have you met plenty women on this board?

I don't need to meet them to know they are. I prefer using the most important organ to establish who is attractive and who is not: the brain.

 

Use your intellect and you can spot the strong, kind, feminine, mature and good-looking women on this board. If you bother to interact with them, you'll even find out who amongst them are single and who are in committed relationships.

 

It is not rocket science. Really.

[Oxy Moronovich]

I don't need to meet them to know they are. I prefer using the most important organ to establish who is attractive and who is not: the brain.

 

Use your intellect and you can spot the strong, kind, feminine, mature and good-looking women on this board. If you bother to interact with them, you'll even find out who amongst them are single and who are in committed relationships.

 

It is not rocket science. Really.

So you're saying you judge people based on their internet posts?

[BetheButterfly]

I think it's purely an effect of on-line dating, where everyone's height is out there for the world to see.

 

I also think on-line dating is responsible for the angst a few of these guys feel. It's changing dating culture and ups the ante. I was in my late teens early 20s in the 90s, before OLD took off. What prevailed at the time was more of a hook up culture. You'd meet people in bars, in cafes, through friends and you would hang out. Eventually you would kiss.

 

 

So true!!! For me, it was just getting to know guys through university or church or community events... in my 30's, that changed to online. Before my 30's, a guy's height wasn't a big deal. What was a big deal to my friends and me was a guy's charisma, charm, and goals in life.

[d'Arthez]

So you're saying you judge people based on their internet posts?

 

Yup. Language, and how it is used, can tell you a lot about people's characters.

 

It is no coincidence that psychological profiling is even used to solve murder cases, when normal forensics leave you with little or no clue about the perpetrator(s).

[johan]

I think it's almost easier to judge people based on their internet posts. They don't filter themselves nearly so much, because there are hardly any consequences.

 

The idea that the best measure of your true character is based on what you do when no one is looking should be extended. The second best measure of your character is based on what you do on the internet.

[Oxy Moronovich]

It's idiotic to say you can judge someone based on their internet posts. The internet is the easiest place to lie. On this messageboard, I tone down my language: I don't say broads, chicks, babes, hotties, etc. as much because that kinda talk isn't acceptable as on pornboards I go to. Plus, the discussions are different. I don't get to talk about my favorite topics regarding movies, history, astronomy, and literature. Those discussions are more intellectual. The topics on a dating forum are more emotional as many people use this place as a vent for ranting.

 

Plus, in real life, you can see a person: check out their physical characteristics, ways of speaking--including inflections and voice tones and pitch, engaging in a long conversation, get viewpoints of the person you met from others, etc.

 

On this messageboard, you only get a person's viewpoint regarding one subject: dating/relationships. In addition, my comments are moderated, both by others and by myself. So you don't get how I really feel. Like I said, it's idiotic to say you can understand someone from reading their posts on a dating forum.

[Negative Nancy]

I think it's almost easier to judge people based on their internet posts. They don't filter themselves nearly so much, because there are hardly any consequences.

 

I agree with this. That's why I always say this and other boards are the best way to get the unfiltered truth out of men because they are anonymous.

 

And what are the findings? All men judge women on youth and looks and would love to live the playboy lifestyle.

[d'Arthez]

It's idiotic to say you can judge someone based on their internet posts. The internet is the easiest place to lie. On this messageboard, I tone down my language: I don't say broads, chicks, babes, hotties, etc. as much because that kinda talk isn't acceptable as on pornboards I go to. Plus, the discussions are different. I don't get to talk about my favorite topics regarding movies, history, astronomy, and literature. Those discussions are more intellectual. The topics on a dating forum are more emotional as many people use this place as a vent for ranting.

You honestly think that most of this does not come through to people who actually read between the lines, and consider the sum total of one's contributions to discussions and the boards? Think again.

 

I agree with this. That's why I always say this and other boards are the best way to get the unfiltered truth out of men because they are anonymous.

 

And what are the findings? All men judge women on youth and looks and would love to live the playboy lifestyle.

You can only get to these findings as long as you ignore everyone and everything that does not confirm your suspicions. In other words: you confuse your own beliefs with men's actual statements.

[Kamille]

All men judge women on youth and looks and would love to live the playboy lifestyle.

 

Hu? I think you have selective reading skills.

[Oxy Moronovich]

You honestly think that most of this does not come through to people who actually read between the lines, and consider the sum total of one's contributions to discussions and the boards? Think again.

You're the one who said you know a person based off their posts on a dating forum. Not me.

[johan]

It's idiotic to say you can judge someone based on their internet posts. The internet is the easiest place to lie. On this messageboard, I tone down my language: I don't say broads, chicks, babes, hotties, etc. as much because that kinda talk isn't acceptable as on pornboards I go to. Plus, the discussions are different. I don't get to talk about my favorite topics regarding movies, history, astronomy, and literature. Those discussions are more intellectual. The topics on a dating forum are more emotional as many people use this place as a vent for ranting.

 

Plus, in real life, you can see a person: check out their physical characteristics, ways of speaking--including inflections and voice tones and pitch, engaging in a long conversation, get viewpoints of the person you met from others, etc.

 

On this messageboard, you only get a person's viewpoint regarding one subject: dating/relationships. In addition, my comments are moderated, both by others and by myself. So you don't get how I really feel. Like I said, it's idiotic to say you can understand someone from reading their posts on a dating forum.

 

It's idiotic to call smart people's responses on a message board idiotic. You probably wouldn't be so likely to use that term in a real life discussion. But you did it here, because you can. Judging from your posting style, that's the kind of person you seem to be: not very respectful and feeling generally superior. People in real life probably don't see that side of you, because you couldn't really get along if they did.

 

And I guess it not only matters what you say but it also matters what parts of the internet you occupy. The fact that you hang out on "pornboards" reveals things about you as well.

 

As if your use of terms like "broads" is the only signal people pick up on from your posts.

[Negative Nancy]

It's idiotic to say you can judge someone based on their internet posts.

 

Weren't you just judging someone on the internet by calling them "idiotic"?

 

I tone down my language: I don't say broads, chicks, babes, hotties, etc. as much because that kinda talk isn't acceptable as on pornboards I go to.

you forgot hos, sluts and bitches. no need to pretend you are more sophisticated than you are

 

Plus, the discussions are different. I don't get to talk about my favorite topics regarding movies, history, astronomy, and literature. Those discussions are more intellectual.

 

So you don't get how I really feel.

thank god, because what we get to see here already is enough

[Oxy Moronovich]

It's idiotic to call smart people's responses on a message board idiotic. You probably wouldn't be so likely to use that term in a real life discussion. But you did it here, because you can. Judging from your posting style, that's the kind of person you seem to be: not very respectful and feeling generally superior. People in real life probably don't see that side of you, because you couldn't really get along if they did.

And you wouldn't be likely to tell me how I need to be respectful. Since I live in Texas and it is legal to walk around with my Glock 9mm in public.

 

And honestly, I'm not very respectful and generally show my feelings of superiority alot. But since you know so my life's story based on my posts on this forum, who am I to argue otherwise?

And I guess it not only matters what you say but it also matters what parts of the internet you occupy. The fact that you hang out on "pornboards" reveals things about you as well.

And the fact that you've been hanging out on a dating forum since 2004, during the first Bush administration, reveals you have been having dating problems for almost 8 yrs, am I right?

As if your use of terms like "broads" is the only signal people pick up on from your posts.

Yeah sure. Whatever.

[threebyfate]

I'd amend the qualification that their real personalities come out to "their neuroses are more evident".

[Oxy Moronovich]

Weren't you just judging someone on the internet by calling them "idiotic"?

 

you forgot hos, sluts and bitches. no need to pretend you are more sophisticated than you are

 

 

thank god, because what we get to see here already is enough

Hey Negative Nancy...aka Miss "I use the emoticon more than I use punctuations, capitalizations, and proper spelling", have you toned down your male bashing long enough so a man can make you that stay at home mom you've always dreamed of being?