Is dating for women 100% easier? Are men expendable to women?

[verhrzn]

Why would you hate somebody just for looking good? I must admit this is a little baffling to me. I have a good number of friends who are all very buff and very good looking and most of them are very nice and down to earth

 

Guys who work out aren't hugely different than the rest of the population. Go on bodybuilding.com and you have subsections for things like music, technology, religion and politics, video games, etc... We're just regular people who like to look good and be strong

 

If you're gonna hate people, hate them for a legitimate reason - like they're insensitive, stupid, intolerant, racist, etc...

 

*Shrugs* We all have subsections of the population we don't like. I have yet to meet a buff guy who isn't, in some way, self-absorbed.

 

Perhaps "hate" is a strong word, but I certainly don't want to spend any time around them. Guys who are buff like that (and you), who spend hours in the gym... they are looks-centered. That's why they spend hours at the gym. Yeah, maybe they're "down to earth" in other ways, but they still spend a LOT of time and energy on how they look. I find that kind of high maintenance attitude and the lifestyle around it very boring, and the fact is, I just don't fit in. I do not dress stylishly, I don't take particular care about my looks, and I like it that way. So why would I like guys who do put such time and effort into something I don't enjoy myself?

 

But in the end, why does it matter if I dislike/hate buff guys?? Buff guys are never, ever, ever gonna wanna date me. It's a mutual dislike, so what's the big deal?

[HallowedBeThyName]

*Shrugs* We all have subsections of the population we don't like. I have yet to meet a buff guy who isn't, in some way, self-absorbed.

 

Perhaps "hate" is a strong word, but I certainly don't want to spend any time around them. Guys who are buff like that (and you), who spend hours in the gym... they are looks-centered. That's why they spend hours at the gym. Yeah, maybe they're "down to earth" in other ways, but they still spend a LOT of time and energy on how they look. I find that kind of high maintenance attitude and the lifestyle around it very boring, and the fact is, I just don't fit in. I do not dress stylishly, I don't take particular care about my looks, and I like it that way. So why would I like guys who do put such time and effort into something I don't enjoy myself?

 

But in the end, why does it matter if I dislike/hate buff guys?? Buff guys are never, ever, ever gonna wanna date me. It's a mutual dislike, so what's the big deal?

 

 

 

No it's not a big deal at all, I just don't see the point in hating somebody for how they look. You used some strong language there that kind of irritated me. I understand that preference, especially if you don't care about how you look yourself

[6ft180natl]

Wtf are you talking about?

 

You obviously know nothing about the gyms affects on a womans body if you think working out hurts a womans attractiveness. And it does not take 3 hours a day to get a great body. I was talking about 3 hours a week. Go to bodybuilding.com and hit the forums. See some of the profiles. Plenty of men and women on that site work out a few days a week, 1 hour at a time and have awesome bodies.

 

Please go.

 

Yup I only work out about 3 hours a week. People tend to think you spend hours and hours working out every day if you are in good shape. Its really better to limit your workouts to 45 min if you can tho.

[HallowedBeThyName]

Yup I only work out about 3 hours a week. People tend to think you spend hours and hours working out every day if you are in good shape. Its really better to limit your workouts to 45 min if you can tho.

 

 

 

I workout about an hour and a half but that's because I really enjoy it. I think you can get a fine workout in 45 minutes if you're very efficient and work out properly

[grkBoy]

That is where I think you're very wrong.

 

I doubt it's hard at all for a woman to find a man who wants more than just sex from her.

 

The only problem might be is that a woman may have crazy high standards, and is unable to find a man who meets them and wants a relationship with her. Such a woman will get no sympathy from me.

 

Oh, I've seen women who have plenty of options for a RL...but it's hard to think she's spoiled for passing up these guys when it seems the successful/educated ones are butt ugly and/or fat, and the hot-looking ones are playas and/or unemployed, and the rest are average joes with issues and such.

 

Plus you toss in compatibility. So a guy might look good on paper, but they still might not click in a romantic sense.

 

Why am I defending women here? Because as a man, I remember when some told me I needed to lower my standards...which meant "giving up" on the idea of a physically attractive and intelligent woman who ins't loaded with drama/baggage. I remember some women telling me how I needed to give fat girls a chance, or date the diner waitress who has two kids from two different men.

 

I won't tell a woman to lower her standards unless I see they really do have insanely high standards...but I won't claim she's put the bar up too high if all her options are unappealing. I won't tell a girl who got an education, career, and works hard to be physically beautiful to suddenly "settle" for some schlub who lives in a ratty apartment and can't read past an 8th grade level.

[fortyninethousand322]

I think most men are expendable to women. High quality men probably not. But if you're an average everyday guy, then yeah, your girlfriend or the girl you're interested in will most likely trade you in for a better model as soon as possible.

[Imajerk17]

I guess it's because I look like a dumb frat boy and I'm really not. Hell I was a fat nerd just a few years ago. Thank god I discovered bodybuilding because I would have never gotten anywhere if I didn't. I would have gotten more and more fat

 

 

 

I only posted my pictures to prove a point that I think looks are a little overrated for men. I know guys who are in their 40s, chubby and balding who have 10 times the success with women that I have. I wasn't trying to attract attention towards how I look

 

Whoops. when I wrote my last post I was thinking your name was ThyWillBeDone instead of HallowedBeThyName. Same prayer though.

 

Anyway, thank you for posting. And you bring up a good point. In fact, I would say that a really good-looking shy guy has it HARDER than an average-looking shy guy. I could write a novel on this.

 

 

(1) If you are really good-looking, then women whom you meet expect you to be confident, and if you are not, then that is a let-down. If you are average-looking and you're not confident, well then that isn't much of a let-down because what was she expecting.

 

(2) A really good-looking guy who is confident risks being labelled a player, while an average-looking guy who is confident doesn't have this problem to nearly the same extent.

 

(3) You never want a woman to feel that the reason why she is attracted to you is your looks. A confident really good-looking guy might have this issue. A confident average-looking guy does not.

 

 

So what I would suggest in your case HBTN is to develop a LITTLE BIT of self-deprecating humor. You need to come across as self-assured, but you do need to poke a little fun at yourself to assure the women that you aren't a jerk or anything.

Edited May 23, 2012 by Imajerk17