jmd28 Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 My husband and I are newlyweds of four months and have been trying new things lately. Up until now I've been an "exit only" type of girl and he's never done it either so we both don't know how it all goes down. I have some questions before I choose to do the deed. 1. I know it hurts, but about how many times do we have to do it to get used to the pain. What the heck am I saying we for? You know it won't hurt him!! 2. It doesn't seem like something I'm going to like, but does it feel good after a while? 3. If I go through with this, is he going to want it all the time like oral sex? 4. Any pointers to ease the pain and make it enjoyable for me as well? Link to post Share on other sites
analnonamous Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 It doesn't hurt that much-unless he's HUGE. I just tried it for the first time in Feb and it didn't hurt really, just make sure you use lots of lube and he goes slow. It does definetly feel different. I highly reccomend putting a towel underneath you. Link to post Share on other sites
spencer Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 huge guys dont hurt either, if they take it real slow and work you up. do a search "anal" been done here before. Link to post Share on other sites
kirkyswife Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 My husband is well endowed and on our wedding night we were full of champagne and experimentation and well I'll tell you what - it will NEVER happen again. In my opinion it's an outtie - not an innie place and the feeling you are left with is OPEN and well hell it's just not for me at all. And let me tell you I was WELL lubricatedi don't understand the need to explore that hole. When your husband is a "ruiner" and does damage to your vagina why would you want damage done to your anus??? I'm all for the pain and pleasure thing but that is something I will NEVER get used to. Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr baseball Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 I would start out with a finger and lots of lube just to see if you like it. I would then have him use lots of lube and start very slow. I and my wife both like it and it does seem to get better after the first few times. Have fun Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 When your husband is a "ruiner" and does damage to your vagina Huh? Link to post Share on other sites
kirkyswife Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 I can't help that he's very large we call those kinds ruiners. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jmd28 Posted June 25, 2004 Author Share Posted June 25, 2004 Tonight, my best friend and I went and had a few drinks together. A few drinks to us may be a few too many when it comes to talking about sexual subjects. He's a guy and he helps to put things into perspective. He said that going that route is not the thing for me (he and I are so much alike and we share the same feelings on things). So to hear this, puts a damper in my willingness. But I love my husband and if this is something he wants to try, then I'm not going to weigh this out as not an option. To be quite honest, I thought I had worked up the courage the other day spontaneously, and the only thing we had was vaseline. I think he at most maybe got the very tip top part in before I started to chicken out. I couldn't tell the difference between him and the need to go to the bathroom if you know what I mean. It didn't feel good in any way, but I was turned on that he was turned on. I anticipate it is going to hurt like hell, but I think I'm going to try it. Analnonamos (that's funny I like that) I've heard some really gross stories behind what happens the first couple of times, do I even want to know why you recommend having a towel underneath? To Kirkswife, there is such thing as a perfect size for a woman, and my man is every bit of it. Does that mean that it will hurt any less since you were referring to the "huge" factor? My ex was larger than my husband to an extent that having sex was uncomfortable to me and I didn't care to do it that often. To Mr Baseball, I think I will try the finger thing first because of my little experiment before. I don't know why I'm so scared of the outcome. It sounds to me that of the people who have responded so far, it may have been an overall good experience minus kirkyswife. But nobody has answered question number 3. Will I or he want to do this multiple times afterwards? Which then corrolates with question 2, how good does it feel? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 There have been several threads about this - full of information and details. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t31297/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t28565/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t21173/ Link to post Share on other sites
kirkyswife Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 I'll be the odd woman out in the anal thing. Vaginally my husband is "perfect" for me but anally I feel like well never mind I'll just say that my concern is over the years if we were to engage in anal sex I would have to wear Depends for fear if I laughed at the wrong time I might not be able to keep it together if you know what I mean. I don't get the whole anal sex thing any way - most of my sistah friends and I agree that's not something we do. But hey to each his own - Enjoy! Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 If you think it's gonna hurt, it is going to hurt! The secret is to be very relaxed and to use lots of lube. It is different, and not necessarily in the wrong way ... Plus you can make it more for my making him touch you, which will help you continue to be relaxed... Just don't force yourself, or you'll develop a phobia for it afterwards! Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 Me and spelling : I meant: "Plus you can make it more fun by making him....." Link to post Share on other sites
Bojickwoman Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 As for the "mess" issue, I would make sure that you have gone to the bathroom prior to having anal sex. It is not a good experience if you are even a wee bit constipated. Also, instead of using vaselline, you might want to try baby oil or any lube that is specially made for anal sex. Personally, if your partner can be mindful of going slow and taking his time, the experience will produce no pain and may even be pleasurable for you. If you are not relaxed, you may be tightening that area and then it could become painful. Heck, have a drink or two beforehand if you are concerned that you will not be relaxed enough. As for him wanting it all the time, it really depends on what type of person he is. I would assume that if you are looking to spice things up in the bedroom that if you guys did that ALL the time it might become boring. If you think he is becoming addicted to it, maybe suggest other things you could do to spice things up, even if it is experiementing with toys or even different positions. Hope this helps you! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr baseball Posted June 26, 2004 Share Posted June 26, 2004 I don't know about the mess idea and I will also tell you there is no smell. My wife never wanted to try and I didn't ask. I was in "the act" with her one day and started to touch the area. She went wild!!! I then asked her if she wanted the finger and she said yes. This went on for a while in our sex life. Then one time she said she wanted "it" and I declined because of her never wanting to. I asked her later and she said she was "in the mood"then and wanted to try it so we did. I used lots of good lube and started very slow. She said there was some pain but it felt good also. We have done this since and it did get better for her because she has relaxed more each time. I love it. I don't ask for it I let her ask for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Paradise Posted June 26, 2004 Share Posted June 26, 2004 Originally posted by spencer huge guys dont hurt either, if they take it real slow and work you up. do a search "anal" been done here before. hmmmm....You sound like you've tried that big one.... Link to post Share on other sites
Paradise Posted June 26, 2004 Share Posted June 26, 2004 Originally posted by jmd28 1. I know it hurts, but about how many times do we have to do it to get used to the pain. What the heck am I saying we for? You know it won't hurt him!! 2. It doesn't seem like something I'm going to like, but does it feel good after a while? 3. If I go through with this, is he going to want it all the time like oral sex? 4. Any pointers to ease the pain and make it enjoyable for me as well? 1-only if you don't use enough lubb. Use KY or Astro-Glide. You can let him try his fingers, then let him penetrate you first and relax until your muscles stretch a little. That helps. 2-some women hates and some love it. 3-some men likes it purely because it's tighter, some likes it because it's different. Some would prefer anal all the time, but ultimately punani is always better. 4-You have to just try few times and see if you like it. Link to post Share on other sites
anal-nonimous-#2 Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 I really really really want to do it. My wife will rub my head up and down her checks right where the thong dissapears... and that drives me bonkers... so anal sex seems like a great next step. So... I... thought... until.... She was scared of it. But, after 2 or 3 weeks of playing slippity slide up and down the back side... hearing me gasp... she wanted to try to do it...She was willing to try pretty hard (spoons) while I held perfectly still, and she said it "burned" and just didn't seem possible or like a good idea... Well, after that I encouraged her just about every time we made love, to slip me in the back way, too... I even waited until she was really aroused. But, alas, it just became a topic to fight about... not a good thing. Then one day she said - in the midst of a fight on a normal topic, "and by the way we aren't ever going to have anal sex, it burns, I don't want to do it, and quit asking!!!" Ouch! Then, look out men, someone here posted "have HIM try it before he gets too demanding for you to try it!" YIKES... that made sense. But gee, when... OK me and her dildo all alone tried to get a glimpse into the receiving side of things. I found it impossible. Not even close. no way. So, my conclusion is this: If you are EVER going to succeed without damage, or pain, then you'll have to start with a very slender butt plug, and move up in size over time. I have no idea if you could jump 3 sizes in 1 "session" or if 3 sizes will take a week per size... Anything faster than a tiny slender but plug, would put pleasure in direct combat with pain... NO THANKS. Pleasure that begs for more, baby, more is the only way to go. So start small, gentle, slick, and increase up to life-size over time. Anyone go this route? (Seems like the only route to me) Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 Ok, you put a towl because when he "finishes" and withdraws, you can get a bit of frothiness. And you don't want to ruin sheets. I'd never done it before. Plus, the guy I was with at the time was only of average size so it didn't really hurt at all. It did feel different, like I had to go to the bathroom but it wasn't unbearable. I was a tad tender in that area for the next couple of days. As something to try once in a while it's OK-I liked to save it as a reward for good behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 I agree that it does kinda hurt at first. I would have never imagined doing this with anyone else but I'm really comfortable with my partner and so well we ended up doing it. Exactly there is no "mess" or "smell" or any other sick things that people tend to believe as long as you have good personal hygeine! It isn't something I'd do all the time because afterwards it does make ya have that BR feel and it's sore for a day or two but every once in awhile it can be really pleasureful! Link to post Share on other sites
Suzi Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 Can women reach an orgasm during anal sex? Link to post Share on other sites
CalifGal Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 I personally love anal sex. It doesn't hurt if you are relaxed. I find it erotic and I can easily have an orgasm by being penetrated anally. I love when my husband does this. We do it alot this way when I'm menustrating. I think to each his own - you just gotta be relaxed. Just don't let your man penetrate you anally then try to penetrate you vaginally - could cause infection. Link to post Share on other sites
LatsyrcSC Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 The first time I had anal sex I wasn't educated enough about it and just let him slide in real fast all the way and I screamed out in pain it hurt so bad. So I read up on it and now I prefer anal sex with EACH love making. It is such a turn on for me. Some women like it some don't. I think the ones that don't just can't do it right so they don't realize how pleasurable it can be. Or he's just too huge which is understandable. The most painful part is the head. I'd say like someone said earlier, let him finger you first to get you loosened up. One finger, then two......then try the head. It's going to hurt at first but not too bad. Once the head goes in I'd leave it there a couple of seconds just to let yourself get used to it being there. Then start off slow....have him massage your clit while he's doing this (this usually sends me over the edge). Then he can start doing it faster and harder if you like. Now I'm going to be honest. I'm usually sore for a couple of days after anal sex. It's not something you can do on a daily basis. And if you have to do the number two.......oh my. lol Link to post Share on other sites
soulific Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 what if a guy ejaculates inside during anal sex. is that safe.How pleasurable is it for the female? Link to post Share on other sites
LatsyrcSC Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 Sorry to be so discriptive but your anus is self cleansing. Anything that goes in is eventually going to come back out. So yes, it's safe for him to ejaculate inside you. However, not safe from STDs of course. I'd prefer him NOT to ejaculate inside me, because it doesn't always come out right afterward...sometimes it drains out the next day (I know I knowwwww...but you need to know) I wouldn't do it.....I usually can't feel it when he does anyway so it's not like it adds to my pleasure...may add to his though. Link to post Share on other sites
havNfun Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 All I know about anal sex is that A) I want it b) no one has let me hve it yet and c)most guys and many women say that it is really hot and enjoyable. Link to post Share on other sites
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