KaraBlund Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 My best guy friend of about 4 years and I recently became a FWB situation. It seemed to be going well.. Heres a little back story- we've been friends for years, but have become really close over the last few months. Pretty much ALL of our friends have started to assume there is something going on between us and think we should be dating.. however no one actually knows that we are hooking up. Last night we went to the bars with a group of friends. He was all over another girl, but by the end of the night switched his attention to me. He was very affectionate, which was odd because we were in public. He was holding my hand and kissed me multiple times.. He was even joking around with everyone about him and I getting married. We went back to his house and he told me that he wants a relationship and that hes insecure because he knows that I don't. He was reallllyyy drunk so the conversation wasn't too successful. We hung out all day today and it wasn't awkward, but we didn't talk about it either. He was very affectionate all day today as well. My question is this: was it the alcohol talking? He was the one who suggested a FWB arrangement, and he has made it clear in the past he isn't looking to be in a relationship right now. Do I ask him about it or wait for him to bring it up? Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Some say that alcohol is a truth serum, and that what you do or say under its affect has grounds in reality. I think he dropped the ball already and I doubt he doesn't remember a thing so thus you should go and ask him about it. He will most likely be to shy or insecure to bring it up a 2nd time, so do yourself both a favor and ask about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaraBlund Posted May 21, 2012 Author Share Posted May 21, 2012 Any ideas on how I go about bringing it up? Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Any ideas on how I go about bringing it up? Well, depends, would you like to get serious with the guy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaraBlund Posted May 21, 2012 Author Share Posted May 21, 2012 Maybe eventually. Im not sure how much I trust him in a relationship sense.. Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Maybe eventually. Im not sure how much I trust him in a relationship sense.. Well, IMO you should talk to him about it, whenever you guys got some alone time tell him you remember he said x, y, z and that right now you don't know what you want. I am pretty sure he remembers what he said. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaraBlund Posted May 21, 2012 Author Share Posted May 21, 2012 I doubt he doesn't remember either, he seemed to remember the rest of the night... Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaraBlund Posted May 24, 2012 Author Share Posted May 24, 2012 We talked about it last night, he says he doesn't remember it. He also said that he wanted to continue hooking up, but only when we're sober so things like that don't happen... Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 We talked about it last night, he says he doesn't remember it. He also said that he wanted to continue hooking up, but only when we're sober so things like that don't happen... Ehh, sounds like he just back-peddled, but you don't really mind hooking up with him so I guess no harm done. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaraBlund Posted May 24, 2012 Author Share Posted May 24, 2012 What makes you say that he back-peddled? Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 What makes you say that he back-peddled? Because you know how much alcohol you need to consume to be able to forget something? A LOT, and actually, if he'd drink that much, he probably wouldn't talk at all. You also said that he seemed to remember everything else from that evening. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaraBlund Posted May 31, 2012 Author Share Posted May 31, 2012 More update: after he decided it would only happen sober - he changed his mind again and wanted to go back to whenever like before.. He's been more affectionate drunk and sober and has told me hr enjoys being with me and thinks what we have is special.. What in the world did I get myself into... ? Haha Link to post Share on other sites
Lil1 Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 Be careful Kara, it's starting to sound like he wants you to be exclusive w him but he's won't be with you.. only you may not know it. It just sounds like he is starting to play games w you, if he really wanted to be with you there would be no hesitation, given the fact that you have been intimate already and judging by how affectionate he is & what your mutual friends think. Is he still being affectionate with you in public? What does he say when friends ask him about the two of you? Most important though is, do you want to have a relationship with him? Hey when you talked about it who brought it up, you? I would have brought it up only if I wanted a relationship so maybe that's telling... How often does he drink, and does he drink to get hammered usually or just on occasion? How is he around other women when he's drunk? ... Oh wait, he was flirting with another woman all night until the end when he switched to you right?... these actions are indicative of his character and how he views you. Remember why it was that you agreed to a FWB with him in the first place. Did you see him as BF material then? If so you should not entered into this arrangement with him... and I think you know this. So just think about the many reasons why he may not be the right choice for you. Stay true to yourself Kara, don't settle for being someone's second choice. He did not want a relationship with you from the start, and he has told you he prefers this arrangement. Don't let him play games with your head. Keep it strictly physical, friendly with him, but don't invest your heart unless he gives you his first, and if he is your choice... you have many;) Link to post Share on other sites
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