livingstrong Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 I've come to find that it's hard to have a perfect 180 experience, at least for me. There seems to be a weak moment during the day (we are still living together with our 3 boys), grant you, and I tend to give in easily and end up following her around like a puppy-dog rationalizing with her why we should stay together. It's rather pathetic. After a few days of 180, I start seeing a change in her and it feels so good. I am allured back and within 24 hours her demeanor changes and I am left feeling like an idiot. The feelings are so powerful. It's like I can't help myself but to fall into the same trap over and over again. I want to find the strength in myself to make the change for me. At this point, I am wondering if I am capable. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Light Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 I've come to find that it's hard to have a perfect 180 experience, at least for me. There seems to be a weak moment during the day (we are still living together with our 3 boys), grant you, and I tend to give in easily and end up following her around like a puppy-dog rationalizing with her why we should stay together. It's rather pathetic. After a few days of 180, I start seeing a change in her and it feels so good. I am allured back and within 24 hours her demeanor changes and I am left feeling like an idiot. The feelings are so powerful. It's like I can't help myself but to fall into the same trap over and over again. I want to find the strength in myself to make the change for me. At this point, I am wondering if I am capable. Perhaps when you feel those feelings coming back you could leave the house and/or do something else? I know it's hard. Basically you have to ride it out until you don't give a crap any more. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 The 180 is counter-intuitive, that's why you understandably get sucked back into doing what feels natural. The 180 is completely unnatural, but can - in some instances - work. I never exercised the 180 on my wife when we were together and going through our hellish descent. Don't know if it would have mattered. Link to post Share on other sites
jaymz Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 The 180 is NOT to win her back, it is to start you off down the road to healing yourself and becoming a better person. Anytime you feel like its slipping, go out: Have a a run, see a friend, goto cinema, whatever! Link to post Share on other sites
Author livingstrong Posted May 21, 2012 Author Share Posted May 21, 2012 Today I am moving all of my stuff out of the bedroom closet so I have no excuse to roam to that side of the house. 180 starts over today. It's very counterintuitive, especially with our codependence. I just want to jump in bed with her and "fix" this once and for all. It would be so much easier if I had a new GF, or someone I was talking too. Facing this head on is tough. I feel like I'm playing tennis with someone who isn't hitting the ball back and keeps putting their racquet down. Eventually, I've got to take my ball and go home. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts