Youropinion Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 Ex-boyfriend called me to ask me not to call again as he is now dating another girl, and he does not want me to contact him again. We only talked maybe once a month for a bit. We only dated for a short time, but we have remained friends for the last couple of years. I only called sometimes to chat. He also called late and did not talk to me much- 2 second call. What do you think of this? Has it ever happened to you? Why do you think happened, specially in that form, I thought at least he would take his time to talk to me about it. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
deepthinker Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 It sounds to me like this guy has met someone he has feelings for and maybe doesnt want you ringing/contacting him in case his new girlfriend finds out and spoils his new relationship. He may also have decided that he needs to move on and doesnt need your friendship anymore..........friendships between exs rarely stay close when one of them finds someone else its just a sad fact of life, i was married 15yrs and had to ask politely that my ex-wife stop ringing me about problems because my ne girlfriend was getting upset thinking something was going on, this guy may still have fond memories of you but its time sadly for you to move on as well, life can be cruel at times and what was once a lovely friendship/relationship can over the years turn into nothing but distant memories...love can and does fade over time and new love can eventually heal old wounds.....heres my advice to you.forget this guy, he couldnt even have the decency to call you or better still meet you personaly and explain he has a new girl and wants to move on....he owed you that much to break the news in a dignified and humane way not the 2 sec call he made.so forget him dont waste time thinking about him anymore.he isnt worth the trouble.......take care and get this person out of your head..Colin. Link to post Share on other sites
amanda25 Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 Originally posted by Youropinion Ex-boyfriend called me to ask me not to call again as he is now dating another girl, and he does not want me to contact him again. We only talked maybe once a month for a bit. We only dated for a short time, but we have remained friends for the last couple of years. I only called sometimes to chat. He also called late and did not talk to me much- 2 second call. What do you think of this? Has it ever happened to you? Why do you think happened, specially in that form, I thought at least he would take his time to talk to me about it. Thank you I am thinking, that maybe this girl he is with is not wanting him to be friends with you anymore, or maybe he is wanting to be with her, and still being friends with you, maybe he is afraid would lead to something else, or hurt her? Does that make sense? Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 Youropinion, how long did you date him for? Did you call him a lot? What kinds of things did you call for? Link to post Share on other sites
Unlucky In Love Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 Hi There, I understand exactly what is going on. When my boyfriend broke up with his ex and started dating me, one of her friends saw us together in a bar. His ex called him the next day. It didn't bother me, because I felt secure in our new relationship. However, as additional ex-girlfriends kept calling on holidays, birthdays, weekends, and all the time, it really strained our relationship. At one point, my boyfriend had to call or email each of these girls and tell them to stop calling. But the impression was already made. I thought my boyfriend was a player. Everytime we argued I would bring up the name of each girl that called and throw it in his face. We still stayed together for a year, but eventally broke up over it. When we did finally break up, I severed all ties. He wanted to still be friends and get together to try to work things out. I told him not to EVER CONTACT ME AGAIN. I knew this was the right thing for me to do so that we could both get on with our lives. I've dated several men since and my ex has never called me. It means alot to some people not to have their ex's butting into their lives. You should respect your ex-boyfriend's wishes and let him go on with his life without you, instead of you causing drama in his new relationship. It will be better for both of you. Plus it gives you an opportunity to make new friends. Who knows, one of your new friends may turn into a romantic interest... Link to post Share on other sites
Your opinion Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 Hi, Thanks for your comments. We live far, so nothing would ever happen again. I would just call to say hi, perhaps once a month, and he would normally call back and holidays, birthdays etc. We would chat. He then called out of the blue late one night and asked me never to call again- it was hurtful as I thought we were friends. I had gone through a lot, and he was part of my support group. Now, he starts dating this new girl, and I do not exist. I thought it was a bit rude, and it shows that I never mattered. Otherwise, shouldn't he have stood up to her and say, my friends are my friends? I do not think they have been together long. Has anyone experience this sort of things? Why would he call like this? I agree with you guys, and I have moved on. I have a full life. I will never contact him, but it was just hurtful, and I wanted to know what others thought. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 I can see how you'd feel hurt that he didn't stand up to his girlfriend and say "my friend are my friends," but the truth of the matter is that you're not friends. You were romantically involved and I am assuming you were intimate. If you were his friend and never anything more, I would say that cutting off contact with you is unhealthy and it probably won't last with his new girl because she is too jealous. But you were more than friend, which in my opinion changes the dynamic of your relationship. He knows things about you that he wouldn't know about any of his other female friends, and I'm sure you shared a lot of moments. I went though a similar situation with my boyfriend, he was basically a security blanket for his ex. He was part of her support group just like you said your ex was for you, so that is a red flag to me. Obviously I don't know the specifics of your situation but if you were using him for your own selfish purposes that is probably why he cut you off. I'm sorry if it hurts, but his new girlfriend is and should be his first priority. Link to post Share on other sites
popt Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Originally posted by Youropinion Ex-boyfriend called me to ask me not to call again as he is now dating another girl, and he does not want me to contact him again. We only talked maybe once a month for a bit. We only dated for a short time, but we have remained friends for the last couple of years. I only called sometimes to chat. He also called late and did not talk to me much- 2 second call. What do you think of this? Has it ever happened to you? Why do you think happened, specially in that form, I thought at least he would take his time to talk to me about it. Thank you I appears to me that the new girl made him do it and she was with him when he did it. She wanted to make sure he says this to you and that may be why he has not spoken to you at lenght. In any event if this guy is treating you like this trust me it is only a matter of time before he treats the new girl the same way. Why would you want to be with someone like this anyways. whatever you do, do not do something that one day you will remember and feel bad about. The best thing to do and I know this is the only way to come out a better person is by cuting him lose completely. Don't call him, email him...nothing. He is gone, why give him the pleasure to think that he is still important to you. Let his mind wonder why you are not calling him and why you have taken the breakup so easily. Time is the answer. The question is will you keep you self esteem and self respect until the hard time is over. If you do what I have said you will eventually come out more confident about yourself and proud of how you handled your breakup. Link to post Share on other sites
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