Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 22, 2012 Author Share Posted May 22, 2012 Don't worry we're all here for the same reason and to help if we can. With my situation, we have reconciled a few times too and I'm in the same boat as Tree where this is the first time I think another person is involved. Last time he couldnt get a hold of me for 3 weeks he turned up at my door. This time because theres another person then I'm not sure if he'll realise anything...then I have the added thing of if he did do that again, do I want him back because he was pretty crappy to me in the end...can I forgive the hurt... but then I wonder if I'm strong enough to turn him away... meh lol wheres this boat That's pretty much where I am. Ive done this too many times but now there's another person involved. I can't read the situation well anymore. I could possibly get hurt again. But like ive said in other posts, I tend to not care after a while. In that my self esteem is too high to allow any of this to really bother me after a while. Anything short of her showing up at my door and ending all other relationships will only result in my staying cautious. Being a good human being takes effort and most people are lazy so I don't know how much I buy this. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 This time because theres another person then I'm not sure if he'll realise anything...then I have the added thing of if he did do that again, do I want him back because he was pretty crappy to me in the end...can I forgive the hurt... but then I wonder if I'm strong enough to turn him away... meh lol wheres this boat I would drive myself crazy just trying to think what I'd do in your position. :\ Perhaps you guys could take me out in the middle of the sea and throw me out. I feel like drowning. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 22, 2012 Author Share Posted May 22, 2012 Sounds like a good plan to me lol. Oh you just wait till I get my PM ability. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 That's pretty much where I am. Ive done this too many times but now there's another person involved. I can't read the situation well anymore. I could possibly get hurt again. But like ive said in other posts, I tend to not care after a while. In that my self esteem is too high to allow any of this to really bother me after a while. Anything short of her showing up at my door and ending all other relationships will only result in my staying cautious. Being a good human being takes effort and most people are lazy so I don't know how much I buy this. Yeah, you're too experienced in this to fall for it again. Yay to NC! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 22, 2012 Author Share Posted May 22, 2012 I would drive myself crazy just trying to think what I'd do in your position. :\ Perhaps you guys could take me out in the middle of the sea and throw me out. I feel like drowning. Forget drowning. We can go out to sea and enjoy the world. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBrunette84 Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 That's pretty much where I am. Ive done this too many times but now there's another person involved. I can't read the situation well anymore. I could possibly get hurt again. But like ive said in other posts, I tend to not care after a while. In that my self esteem is too high to allow any of this to really bother me after a while. Anything short of her showing up at my door and ending all other relationships will only result in my staying cautious. Being a good human being takes effort and most people are lazy so I don't know how much I buy this. I'm the same that I feel ok, I have other stuff happening in my life so I'm not a mess, not like I have been in the past. I have porbably gone through this so many times that I've grown hard to it now. If she shows up at your door, don't do a me and take it that they are sorry/will change/want everything to be great. Part of why he turned up was probably frustration of getting no joy anywhere else and he did want to reconcile but I think I forgave too easily. In hind sight I should have offered a friendship only and told him if he wanted me he'd wait until I was/if I'd be ready to as he has broken my heart over and over again. but you're right being a good human does take effort and some people are just selfish Link to post Share on other sites
MissBrunette84 Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Oh you just wait till I get my PM ability. Haha, only a couple weeks to go Link to post Share on other sites
MissBrunette84 Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 I would drive myself crazy just trying to think what I'd do in your position. :\ Perhaps you guys could take me out in the middle of the sea and throw me out. I feel like drowning. Yeah it does urk me at night lol, but I try not to think about it. I dunno what road this will take but we'll see I guess. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 22, 2012 Author Share Posted May 22, 2012 Yeah it does urk me at night lol, but I try not to think about it. I dunno what road this will take but we'll see I guess. Hang in there. I'll stick to my guns for now. I doubt she'll try anything real like show up physically. I don't even buy that this is anything real anyway. She might just want the ego boost of knowing I'm still around. She doesn't even know how drastically my life has changed in this month. Seeing the message just reminds me of the old way of things. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBrunette84 Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Hang in there. I'll stick to my guns for now. I doubt she'll try anything real like show up physically. I don't even buy that this is anything real anyway. She might just want the ego boost of knowing I'm still around. She doesn't even know how drastically my life has changed in this month. Seeing the message just reminds me of the old way of things. Exactly, the ego boost is probably right. Thats why I have no time for emails, texts or whatever right now. If he wants something important he knows where I live. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 22, 2012 Author Share Posted May 22, 2012 Exactly, the ego boost is probably right. Thats why I have no time for emails, texts or whatever right now. If he wants something important he knows where I live. I've said the exact thing. I doubt she will though. I also approve of your gradual revealing in your pictures. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBrunette84 Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 I've said the exact thing. I doubt she will though. I also approve of your gradual revealing in your pictures. You never know, if she loves you at all, it can do crazy things. lmao I was gonna put a whole picture on then Im like...nah lol just being a chicken about it really lol. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 22, 2012 Author Share Posted May 22, 2012 Well I haven't checked back. I might have even more messages by today. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 lmao I was gonna put a whole picture on then Im like...nah lol just being a chicken about it really lol. Aww..it was a nice pretty picture! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBrunette84 Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Aww..it was a nice pretty picture! Aww thank you muchly I might put it back up at some point. Tree, it will be interesting to see what she has said if you have more messages. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBrunette84 Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Anyways will check back in later no doubt when I can't sleep, but right now I have to go to rehearsals with my band, so chow for now Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 22, 2012 Author Share Posted May 22, 2012 Aww..it was a nice pretty picture! I agree. And I'm putting off checking. I really don't need any more "drama" for the week. Gotta keep my head clear at work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 23, 2012 Author Share Posted May 23, 2012 So, it has been two days and she has written me again. This time it was an explanation of why she wrote me the first time. Basically shes saying that she doesn't even think about it until its "too late" and shes already on the messenger. She's going out of her way to let me know that shes not checking up on me but rather this uncontrollable force of habit is bringing her to the service. And now she feels the need to explain this whole thing to me so I don't get the wrong idea. Any thoughts on what game this is? Link to post Share on other sites
MissBrunette84 Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 She's pulling that leash a bit harder. I think she is making excuses to contact you, you don't accidently just message someone lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 23, 2012 Author Share Posted May 23, 2012 She's pulling that leash a bit harder. I think she is making excuses to contact you, you don't accidently just message someone lol Of course, I know what shes doing but I'm curious as to what shes thinking. Why pull the leash at all if your so happy with your new man? "true happiness" and all. I remember when i got with her and found "true happiness" i didn't give anybody else another second of my affection. Why bother? Link to post Share on other sites
MissBrunette84 Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Of course, I know what shes doing but I'm curious as to what shes thinking. Why pull the leash at all if your so happy with your new man? "true happiness" and all. I remember when i got with her and found "true happiness" i didn't give anybody else another second of my affection. Why bother? Thats so very true. Maybe there is some doubts somewhere in her mind with her new man and is testing the water to see how you react towards her at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 23, 2012 Author Share Posted May 23, 2012 Well its annoying me. Clearly she hasn't changed or matured one bit. Still playing the same old mind games. Just makes my decision that much more justified. I can't wait to see the next one. It'll either be an expression of love or some massively hateful fighting words. There is no middle ground with these types of people. I'm betting on the latter. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Well its annoying me. Clearly she hasn't changed or matured one bit. Still playing the same old mind games. Just makes my decision that much more justified. I can't wait to see the next one. It'll either be an expression of love or some massively hateful fighting words. There is no middle ground with these types of people. I'm betting on the latter. Mine tried luring me back in last August. I did not respond---it was easy because he was horrible to me. The texts were sweet "Hi, cutie, how are you?", "Just checking in, how have you been?:)"--a few more like that. Oh, the best was "there is a storm coming and those wind chimes you gave me are really moving in the breeze:) how are you today?" Ugh. They dump us and try to lure us back in for their own selfish reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 23, 2012 Author Share Posted May 23, 2012 Mine tried luring me back in last August. I did not respond---it was easy because he was horrible to me. The texts were sweet "Hi, cutie, how are you?", "Just checking in, how have you been?:)"--a few more like that. Oh, the best was "there is a storm coming and those wind chimes you gave me are really moving in the breeze:) how are you today?" Ugh. They dump us and try to lure us back in for their own selfish reasons. Well the difference is I dumped her and we have broken up before shes never the type to say anything sweet. She was more of the "i feel like crap without you" kind of person. Where it was all about her needs. Now she just sounds arrogant and purposely angry. Someone said it earlier here "she wants to rub her new toy in your face". Too bad that doesn't work on me. If she only knew all she has to do is learn something from this whole thing and just be honest with herself. She knows where I live, if she truly "loves" me she knows what to do. Otherwise this thing will become a memory. Either way I'll be good. I'll always love her but I cant change her. She has to want to change. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBrunette84 Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 Well the difference is I dumped her and we have broken up before shes never the type to say anything sweet. She was more of the "i feel like crap without you" kind of person. Where it was all about her needs. Now she just sounds arrogant and purposely angry. Someone said it earlier here "she wants to rub her new toy in your face". Too bad that doesn't work on me. If she only knew all she has to do is learn something from this whole thing and just be honest with herself. She knows where I live, if she truly "loves" me she knows what to do. Otherwise this thing will become a memory. Either way I'll be good. I'll always love her but I cant change her. She has to want to change. She'll learn that when its way too late. You are right though she does know where you live and if she couldn't live without you she'd be there, or at least give you more than the criptic ' Sorry messaging you by force of habbit' messages. I haven't heard a thing from my ex, but then again he can't really get ahold of me lol. Link to post Share on other sites
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