So I realized not too long ago that I have low self-esteem.

[JRock8732]

I have no idea how to improve it. Everytime I try to I stay okay for about a week then crash into a negative sensitive mode. I always feel like girls are laughing at me. When people ignore me I get irritated and sad because I keep thinking that no one wants to talk to me or anything to do with me. I know that's not true. I also have a difficult time socializing.

 

Help.

[d'Arthez]

What you describe is not something that you can overcome with the help of a message board and a "quick fix" (either through acting confident, or taking antidepressants - they would not sort out a longterm effect). I'd suggest you seek professional help from a trained psychologist.

[JRock8732]

I had a psychologist before but he never helped me out. He used to always stare at me weird when I expressed my problems, later to find out he was gay. So I don't want to go to another psychologist and waste my moms money (I'm only 19)

[mooninite]

I have exactly the types of symptoms you describe too.

 

How do you see a psychologist? How much do they cost? I don't even know how to find one... what do I do, just go on Yelp and search for psychologist? Is it covered by health insurance?

[d'Arthez]

Not all psychologists are the same. It seems you dealt with a bad one.

 

@Mooninite, that really depends on where you live, how old you are, and how comprehensive your health insurance (if applicable) is. Different countries, different standards.

[JesseJames]

Well, if you have to really try to stay positive in your current life, a nice starting place might be to learn yourself better with a personality test. Any community counselor can issue one to you. Take a good hard look at things: your environment, the types of people, the weather, your appearance, anything you can think of that might be displeasing you. If all things seem doable to you where you're at in life, you could start researching social anxiety disorders and all other possibilities of disorder concerning the mind and body.

[beautifulearth83]

I wouldn't so much jump to the conclusion that this is a problem. You're 19 years old and have plenty of years to let yourself unfold. I would put more effort into simply enjoying life and following your interests. When you do that, the people and situations which make you most comfortable and allow you to be yourself will more often than not, arise. It's all a learning experience. Don't trick yourself into thinking that nobody else ever feels insecure or unapproachable. We're all in this together.

[pillowcase]

I wouldn't go booking a psychologist just yet. Pretty much everyone in the world feels like this some of the time. Insecure, lonely, unloved, unimportant.

 

One thing you can do is spend 5 minutes in the morning before you get up imagining how would go through the day if you had the confidence you desire. Cause self confidence and self esteem? They're illusions. Nothing more than a state of mind.

 

You think girls are laughing at you? I went through days thinking everyone was laughing at me. I was surprised when I found out that they weren't. Or if they had been, it wasn't in a nasty or overly malicious way. You're taking your fears and insecurities and automatically attributing people's laughter to that. But no-one knows your insecurities apart from you. The map is not the territory. I.e. Just because you think something is true, doesn't make it true.

 

Last but not least - I'll reiterate - you're not alone. There is nothing wrong with you in the slightest. We're all as confused and as sad and lonely as you. Perhaps not all the time, or to the same extent, but we all feel like **** somedays. People who claim otherwise are lying or selling something.

 

Stay classy.

[JRock8732]

Im so ****ing stressed...I feel like I cant get out of it...im sorry..I hate myself...I just wanna die

[Seneca]

I used to feel the same way. Check this video out. I AM (Full Documentary) - YouTube!

[FitChick]

Can you afford a $200 session with a Lefkoe Method facilitator? They work over the phone. People have low self-esteem because of their beliefs about themselves. You cannot intellectualize those beliefs away which is why conventional therapy doesn't work. I know from experience and wasted thousands of hours and dollars on it. Check out the website and see if it appeals to you. It's a lot faster and more effective than regular therapy in my experience.

[CopingGal]

It may take yearsssss, to find a good therapist. There are a lot of very lousy therapists out there. Believe me, I know. I've had okay ones, a good ones, and some lousy ones too.

 

 

I think professional help is needed, but there are also things you can do to help yourself.

 

A good start is making a list of things you like about yourself.