B_Z Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 I started dating a girl and we've been pretty much inseparable for the last two months. Early into our relationship she professed her feelings for me and not just that she liked me a lot...It was the whole song and dance about how she thinks we're soul mates and that she loves me, even that i'm the first person she's met whom she would consider having children with. Early on, I noticed that she drank a lot however not until recently has it become clear that she has a serious problem. Every night she drinks herself to sleep. I've had my own problems with addiction and am in the process of recovery from an opiate addiction which I've told her. The problem I am having is that I do care for her for a lot of reasons. I tried to look past the addiction however it's reached the point that i can not anymore. I've talked to her however she's argumentative and flips out on me which from my readings is typical behavior. We don't have sex usually until she's already had way too many drinks and It is a HUGE turn-off for me. We have great sex but i won't participate when she's incoherent. She provokes the sex when she's bombed and it makes me loose all trust in her. She's told me that we're exclusive and that she hasn't been with anybody else however I can't trust her based on the behavior she has shown. I've never written on any forums like this so I hope to gain some insight from similar stories. I'm not asking what to do because that's complicated and i understand for her to change, she really has to hit her bottom. The one thing I am trying to cope with is my trust for her. I've never been in this kind of situation before and don't expect an answer. Any similar stories or insights on trusting an alcoholic person would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
wow04 Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 You can't trust an active alcoholic. It is that simple. All they care about is their addiction. You state you are recovering. Do you go to any AA/NA meetings? Are you doing it on your own? I am a recovering addict with 9 years clean. My experience has been that she is going to bring you down with her, if you don't end it. Link to post Share on other sites
talespinner77 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 It is true, alcoholics cant be trusted. Considering I have had an alcoholic step father and best friend, I can tell you from experience, as much as they want to be honest and be responsible, they cannot be. Something like all addictions is driving them to create the chaos and to forget. Taking on someone in a personal relationship that has any addiction is hard, and even harder when it is one that is so destructive as this. The never really commit to anything but the drink until they are sober and see it, I am sorry you have to go through this. Link to post Share on other sites
neiljohnson85 Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 I have certainly been one for the last three years. It started with an ad in Craigslist. No, it started with me slowly disconnecting from my wife. At first I missed the sex, but it was really the connection I missed. That sense of being absolutely adored and wanted. That sense of being held in high esteem. It wasn't there, and I found, after several years, that I couldn't stand it any more. Another sign of this for me was the diminishing amount of sex we had. I realized that I never felt loved unless the sex was fantastic and it happened all the time. So I started jerkign off to p0rn. Several times a day. It worried me because I expected to have diminishing libido when I was in my late forties. Link to post Share on other sites
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