To abort or to continue?

[wow04]

I am a single mother of 4 kids and I am 31. Is it hard? Yes and times I think I am going to go insane, but I wouldn't trade a minute of it.

 

Do you have family around to give you a break if you need it? Look at all options before you make your decision.

[bean1]

I am a mother too.

 

I would say adoption. Maybe an open one. Find a loving couple for this baby. Adoptive parents will also pay for your medical expenses - the waitlist for a newborn can be as long as 8-10 years in some places, particularly for a healthy newborn born to a mother not on drugs, your newborn will find a good home.

Edited May 24, 2012 by bean1

[DuchessKaye]

If I were on the OP's situation.

I will keep the baby.

 

Hope you find peace of mind soon, Motherof3.

I feel for you. I wish I could help.

 

*Huggggssssssssssss*

[Krytie TV]

You will not find a necessarily appropriate answer specific to your situation here. Most people tend to be either pro-life or pro-choice, not both. Therefore the answers you get will merely be a surveying of which side of the fence people fall on, not how it matters to your specific situation.

[RiverRunning]

As the others said, find an attorney who specializes in adoptions. Not only can you often get payment for all of your medical expenses leading up to the big day, you can often get money aside from that too.

 

The great news is - there are PLENTY of couples who want newborn babies to adopt.

 

I would never choose an abortion unless my life were threatened by the pregnancy.

 

And please, after you have this child, get your tubes tied or use two methods of birth control each and every time you have sex. At 26 and 3 kids, I'd say you're set with children for good. You're also old enough, and with enough kids, that most insurance companies will completely cover any surgery - and doctors will perform it, no questions.

[Tractor]

Being a man I can offer only my one sided view. I have never supported for reasons of faith. but it shouldnt be against the law. Saying that, I had a girlfriend years ago who did have an abortion, it changed my life view. If it touched me personally I would fight against it with all my strength.

 

Dont worry what they say about the number of children (and fathers) it dosent sound as if you have 4 kids with 4 different men. I was with a woman with 5 by 2. And it didnt bother me a bit. Love all of them.

 

Sounds like there is no future with dad,so if you cant support this child emotionally and financally adoption would be my choice.

[sb129]

Yes. And nine months of pregnancy is a small amount of time out of your life to give another human being a chance at life - with adoptive parents. The adoption process can be set up while you are pregnant. If you find adoptive parents they can help you with your medical costs too.

 

To all the posters here who casually suggested abortion - have you ever had one? It's nothing to be casual about and the emotional after-effects are something you'd have to live with for the rest of your life. Or maybe it doesn't bother you, based on whatever your value system is. I think it's commendable that you consider adoption your best option. Give the child a chance at life with other parents if you know you can't handle raising a 4th. There are a ton of community resources out there to help you with adoption, so make a few phone calls and find out what's involved. Make an informed decision rather than an emotional reactive one. Good luck.

 

Are you a mother?

I am.

I'd much rather have an abortion than go through the physical and emotional stress of carrying a child to term and giving birth to it only give it away to someone else.

 

I think that's far more emotionally damaging to both the mother and child.

[UpwardForward]

Are you a mother?

I am.

I'd much rather have an abortion than go through the physical and emotional stress of carrying a child to term and giving birth to it only give it away to someone else.

 

I think that's far more emotionally damaging to both the mother and child.

 

No.

 

Only selfish of the mother.

[sb129]

I didn't think so. You wouldn't say that so lightly if you'd been through a term pregnancy and given birth.

 

The emotional after effects of giving up a child are something both the mother AND child have to live with for the rest of their lives.

 

With an abortion, only one person is affected.

 

Not selfish.

[pureinheart]

I didn't think so. You wouldn't say that so lightly if you'd been through a term pregnancy and given birth.

 

The emotional after effects of giving up a child are something both the mother AND child have to live with for the rest of their lives.

 

With an abortion, only one person is affected.

 

Not selfish.

 

I was adopted, my mother was unable to have children, so this was a blessing to her AND to me. I'm not saying that my mother and me didn't have issues, no more, no less than if I was her biological child...

 

Earlier in this thread I told my story of the two abortions that I had. Abortion hurts all people involved. It is selfish.

[sb129]

Abortion isn't to be taken lightly, BUT it's a choice that should be available to women, and women who decide to make that choice should be supported rather than persecuted.

 

Same for women who decide to give up their babies for adoption. However in my opinion, I think that abortion is the lesser of the two evils.

 

That's all. I'm not going to try and change the minds of pro lifers, especially not ones who haven't actually had kids themselves.

[UpwardForward]

I didn't think so. You wouldn't say that so lightly if you'd been through a term pregnancy and given birth.

 

The emotional after effects of giving up a child are something both the mother AND child have to live with for the rest of their lives.

 

With an abortion, only one person is affected.

 

Not selfish.

 

"Only one person is affected". Yes IMO, that's selfish. It's the me me me attitude.

 

Two hearts, two humans. And yes, the new life Is affected by the killing/eradication.

 

Some women are affected throughout life by the decision. Others get through it by thinking of abortion as merely birth control.

[SarahRose]

i vote for abortion.

2nd adoption if you really think you can go through with it.

 

i want to ask how you managed to let yourself get pregnant after already having 3 at such a young age? i would have made him wrap it up and been a fanatic about birth control.

 

i would also suggest getting your tubes tied and some std tests

 

i hope you have a good education and a good paying job

[UpwardForward]

I was adopted, my mother was unable to have children, so this was a blessing to her AND to me.

 

Earlier in this thread I told my story of the two abortions that I had. Abortion hurts all people involved. It is selfish.

 

Of the two people I've known who grew up in orphanages, one I haven't know well, but have always been told by his sister, that he has said he grew up happy.

 

The other, I know well. While he has expressed disappointment with some childhood years, he has lived the rest of his 70 plus years as a sweet, giving, happy man, with a great sense of humor. A blessing to all.

 

IMO the a death decision of an innocent human, shouldn't be made by anyone.

[pureinheart]

Abortion isn't to be taken lightly, BUT it's a choice that should be available to women, and women who decide to make that choice should be supported rather than persecuted.

 

Same for women who decide to give up their babies for adoption. However in my opinion, I think that abortion is the lesser of the two evils.

 

That's all. I'm not going to try and change the minds of pro lifers, especially not ones who haven't actually had kids themselves.

 

Well, being one was who was adopted, I am soooo grateful for life. Adoption is evil? Wow

 

Oh and FTR, my kids and grandkids are REALLY grateful I wasn't aborted. So as far as "evil" goes, I'd say abortion fits that bigime.

[sb129]

I'm not saying adoption is "evil". You're taking this too personally. I'm glad you got a second chance at life. I wonder how your birth mother feels about things now.

 

The "evil" is the sadness of being a woman who is in a situation where she feels she has no option but to have to choose to either give her baby away or abort it.

 

I could never give a child of mine away. Not once I had carried it inside me and given birth to it.

 

Never never never.

It would haunt me forever.

You have kids- could you have given one away?

[pink_sugar]

I agree with sb. There are many children I'm assuming who wish they were never born, adopted or not. I'm sure there are plenty of happy willed adjusted children as well, that said, adoption isn't as simple. That's great for those who choose to go through with that option, but it's not for everyone. I agree, I think it's much more complicated than people make it sound. You still have to go through bodily changes, possible complications and the mother might want to change her mind once the baby is born. Why go through all of that just to hand the baby over and never see it again?

[UpwardForward]

Perhaps the approval of this kill procedure comes from thoughts of ownership.

 

IMO, the separate human life inside of us is ours only to be responsible for - in caring for or looking after - but not to kill.

 

A jurisdiction or country who allows this extermination, will not sustain itself.

Edited June 18, 2012 by UpwardForward

[sb129]

 

A jurisdiction or country who allows this extermination, will not sustain itself.

 

Big call there.

 

Also highly inaccurate.

 

I wasn't going to get into this, but.... My husband and I have just completed a round of IVF. It worked, I'm pregnant. We already have one child so this will be our second.

We have an embryo in storage now.

 

If we decide not to have any more children, we as the parents have the sole right to decide what happens to that embryo.

 

We for all intents and purposes "own" it.

Edited June 18, 2012 by sb129

[Eddie Edirol]

 

IMO the a death decision of an innocent human, shouldn't be made by anyone.

 

if it was human, that would be true. but zygotes are not human, they are cells. Unless you want to have to get permission every month for your body to dispose of eggs.

 

Dumping a child onto the world to take care of by adoption just for the sake of avoiding abortion is more selfish than preventing bringing another life and economic burden into this challenged world already.

 

Unless youre going to house and take care of all the babies that YOU think shouldnt be aborted, you shouldnt be advising people to carry babies they didnt want.

[UpwardForward]

if it was human, that would be true. but zygotes are not human, they are cells. Unless you want to have to get permission every month for your body to dispose of eggs.

 

Dumping a child onto the world to take care of by adoption just for the sake of avoiding abortion is more selfish than preventing bringing another life and economic burden into this challenged world already.

 

Unless youre going to house and take care of all the babies that YOU think shouldnt be aborted, you shouldnt be advising people to carry babies they didnt want.

 

Throw out all the scientific jibe you wish. Still a human life from conception.

[UpwardForward]

Big call there.

 

 

 

I wasn't going to get into this, but.... My husband and I have just completed a round of IVF. It worked, I'm pregnant. We already have one child so this will be our second.

 

Forgive me if I am incorrect, but did you have another pregnancy, before your existing child?

 

We have an embryo in storage now.

 

If we decide not to have any more children, we as the parents have the sole right to decide what happens to that embryo.

 

 

 

We for all intents and purposes "own" it.

 

Yes, I guess 'intents and purposes'. Legally, financially - and all of that. I was speaking from a belief that God is our Creator, and the baby coming from Him - through the mother. Therefore, the mother not having a call in the baby's demise.

 

 

 

please see bolded.

[ASG]

Yes, I guess 'intents and purposes'. Legally, financially - and all of that. I was speaking from a belief that God is our Creator, and the baby coming from Him - through the mother. Therefore, the mother not having a call in the baby's demise.

 

 

You seem to forget not everyone believes in god.

I don't have a religious bone in my body, so for me, it's all about the science. And the truth of the matter is, at 5 weeks, an unwanted baby is basically a parasite.

 

This being said, I'm not advocating abortion. Because I don't know if I would be able to do it, but then again I don't have kids yet and would really like to, so having an abortion would go against everything I want. Maybe my view on it would change if I already had 3.

 

Adoption is a nice prospect, but... having to carry the pregnancy to term and go through childbirth only to have your baby taken away at the end?? Now sure I could cope with that either to be honest...

 

OP I have no advice... I hope you can figure out what is best for you at this time, with the help of your family.

[pink_sugar]

Throw out all the scientific jibe you wish. Still a human life from conception.

 

Technically it's not even a fetus yet, but rather an embryo.

[pink_sugar]

i agree. pro life all the way.

 

Nothing I hate more than people speaking as if people who are pro choice must be "pro-death". Seriously, who is pro-death?