TheDriver84 Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 Those of you willing to read through this story, bless you. I'll keep it as short as possible whilst still giving the significants. So here's the story. 3 weeks ago - and 2 days after our 1 year and 9 month anniversary - my girlfriend broke up with me. I was absolutely shattered. Two weeks before the breakup, we had a small separation for the same reasons for this breakup - which I'll explain here in a second. I'd realised a lot with that last breakup, but in those two weeks between getting back together and breaking up 'for good,' we had 2 days to see each other and for me to show her what I wanted to. I'd even made plans within those two weeks for the future for us; things that she'd wanted to do but 'I never made the time for.' Unfortunatly, most of them as of those two weeks were in July: huge 1 year, 10 month and 1 year, 11 month anniversarys, including a suprise vacation on the 4th after our 1 year, 11 month (we started dating on the 1st), 4 straight days of concerts of bands that we shared the love for together (bands that had extreme significance in our relationship, but I won't bore you with the why unless you ask for it), professional photos taken of us in her favorite park, and a slew of other stuff that, again, I won't bore you with. Time never gave me the chance. After the last breakup we went through a week without talking to each other and then I started calling her again. I tried to get her back, and attempted to shower her with gifts. Eventually I found out that she already was seeing someone, and that they'd started seeing each other but a few days after we broke up, and possible just before that. But I kept trying anyhow. Her reason for seeing this guy? He's giving what I couldn't give late on in our relationship. I messed up big time: not showing the love that I truely felt, teller her how beautiful she was to me, etc etc. This guy is giving it to her. She says, and I quote 'if it weren't for him, we'd probably have a chance right now.' But we didn't have a chance right now, and she didn't know if we'd have a chance in the future. She's happy now, and doesn't want to mess with that. She keeps busy, to keep her mind off of us, so she hardly thinks about it, but when she does, of course she hurts. I eventually stopped trying. Truth was/is, I did love her and cared for her beyond imagination. I wanted to respect her space, independence and happiness - no matter how painful it was. But I still wanted her there in my life. We got together after a year of best friends, and I didn't want to toss that out with the relationship. Obviously I needed time to where I'd be okay with just this friendship again. She started calling me after I'd stopped contacting her. The day after, infact. And the day after that, and the day after that (which was yesterday). This weekend she's out of town (with her friends, and this guy and his friends, unfortunately) and says she'll call me back when she gets back. That bring us to date. There's more, but I think the important things are all listed - I'll let you know if there's more I'd forgotten. Calling me...is this a good sign? Could she possibly jump that quickly into a relationship this quick and it work? I don't want her back, I need her back...what the hell can I do? She says she 'doesn't want to ruin this relationship she has'...is she denying feelings and holding back from temptation? There are so many more questions. I just want to know what to think of all of this -- because I'M DYING here. Again, bless you for your help and advice. Ty Kansas City, KS Link to post Share on other sites
princess rose Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 Hey, dude. First of all, I'm sorry you're so heartbroken, it happens to the best of us. Anyway, from what you posted, this girl has made it very clear that she's happy with her new man. The fact that she said she doesn't want to ruin this would be a clear indicator of that. Do not let your feelings for her cloud your logic. I know firsthand how much easier that is said than done, I'm goin' through it now. Just have no contact with her, and don't let her use you as a fallback person. You sound like a good guy, somewhere down the road you'll find someone you're compatible with and who is positve that they want to share their life and future with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheDriver84 Posted June 25, 2004 Author Share Posted June 25, 2004 I understand that, that's why I am backing off. I'm going to leave her alone. I'm going to get over what I need to so that down the line, we can be the friends that we once were (and she wants that, too). I just got mixed signals with her calling me when I stopped calling her, and the fact that she thinks we'd have a chance if this thing with this new guy doesn't work out. I dunno. I' m moving on, for myself and for her, but to be back with her... ...that would be a perfect world. Thanks for your reply. Link to post Share on other sites
princess rose Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 I'm sure it would seem like a perfect world. But you have to move on, for your own sake. Don't hedge your bets on her coming back in the future, because that would be a wasted effort on your part, and you could miss out on the affections of someone who does want to be with you. Link to post Share on other sites
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