turnera Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I am going to go against the grain here and ask really why does this guy being there bother you so much? This guy is elderly and doesn't seem to have anywhere to go and apparently this guy was your bf's dad's life bestie. The bf feels obligated to help him out which means he seems to be a decent kind caring person. you also have to see your place here. you are not his wife. you are a live in and he has no ties or obligation to you. there is such a thing as karma and you should hope when you are sick and elderly someone will show some kindness to you. This is my feelings as well. What's missing is actual conversation about the real issues, INCLUDING the uncle in the conversations. Just sitting in a room and stewing about the person in the other room is counterproductive, not to mention immature. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juno Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 I am going to go against the grain here and ask really why does this guy being there bother you so much? This guy is elderly and doesn't seem to have anywhere to go and apparently this guy was your bf's dad's life bestie. The bf feels obligated to help him out which means he seems to be a decent kind caring person. you also have to see your place here. you are not his wife. you are a live in and he has no ties or obligation to you. there is such a thing as karma and you should hope when you are sick and elderly someone will show some kindness to you. I knew eventually there would be one person going against the grain. First...this guy DOES have a place to go. He is not homeless. As I mentioned in the begining, he owns a home with his soon to be ex-wife. She left him and their home is now vacant. He pretty much abandoned his resident. Trust me...I do see my place in this situation. I own this house equally with my bf. I am not his "live-in", so YES he has an obligation to me as I do to him. I would never bring someone in to live with us without his full support and understanding. Yes, my bf is a decent person for helping him out, but I have questioned his motivation as well. Again, mentioned in earlier posts. Why does this guy bother me so much...listen he just does. He a nice old man, with a strong, and loud personality. Everyone is not made to co-habitate with every person on the face of the earth. Would you let any elderly, homeless person who is down on their luck move in with you without a game plan...open ended? If so, give me your name and address, I know someone who can use it Sweet Charity. What is really karma in this situation unfortunately, is that the uncle does not have his family coming to his aid. He has lived his life with "the devil may care" attitude and now he is relying on people he bearly knows. I'm all for helping people. I have even been called generous to a fault, but everyone has their limitations, so please do not try to make me out to be the villian! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juno Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 people have different motivations for having a bf or gf. living together doesn't mean they are going to get married and have kids and death do them part. some people like the novelty of having a steady sex partner and companion but that doesn't mean they think of them as a life partner. Whatever our motivations are for being bf and gf is our own. The reasons for us living together are our own. What does any of this has to do with a guest who has overstayed his welcome? Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 Juno, the uncle is but a symptom of a relationship that is not firing on all cylinders. If your relationship were whole, you two would have worked out an agreement that works for both of you. But you didn't. You don't. Instead, you come to a forum and gripe about your spineless bf. Instead of saying what you feel to his face. Poor communication is the bane of every relationship and if you can't figure out how to reach mutually beneficial decisions, you won't be together much longer. Link to post Share on other sites
green_tea Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 I am going to go against the grain here and ask really why does this guy being there bother you so much? This guy is elderly and doesn't seem to have anywhere to go and apparently this guy was your bf's dad's life bestie. The bf feels obligated to help him out which means he seems to be a decent kind caring person. you also have to see your place here. you are not his wife. you are a live in and he has no ties or obligation to you. there is such a thing as karma and you should hope when you are sick and elderly someone will show some kindness to you. What a nasty post. The OP has let this man stay in her home for 4 months so far, that is very generous. Her bf is the one that should be getting bad karma - he is not helping this man out of the goodness of his heart, but from hoping to get what little money he might have once he dies, going by what OP posted earlier. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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