In a rut

[Embuff]

I have been with my boyfriend now for 3 years. We have a child together, but he is in another state working since work here went on a stand still. Now he is working two jobs while waiting for a reply for a job here.

We have always had little tiffs and arguments like normal couples but now it seems like we are in a rut. For three years he has been up and down. He is younger than me but he still acts older than his is ( to a degree) . It just seems now like we are a devoted, old, miserable couple. I'm only 24 and I want to be happy. Our first year he remembered every holiday ect. I haven received a Christmas, birthday, or anniversary gift for two years now. He neglects every holiday but some how manages to remember others... like my family. I feel like he "hurts the ones closet to him bc they will always be there" but I dont want to live this way. I dont need to be showered with gifts but it kind of hurts bc I never forget him. Granted he did buy me flowers this past mothers day after I came out and said, " I really would like flowers for mothers day". I'm past being mad and bitter over it all. Now it's just turning into normal everyday sadness or " yea oh well" moments. Life moves on I suppose. It doesn't help that we only speak once a day for maybe 30 minutes, if that. He works really hard and has two jobs. We have talked about marriage but after I found out about our little girl he never wanted to talk about it again so I have dropped the subject all together. I love him like crazy but I love my daughter and myself too. Our happiness is important too. I dont want to make him sound horrible because he is not. I am not a peach all the time either, but I dont many women who would put up with this forever. We have been to counseling and have stopped since he left. I always felt like it did do some good but he never really soaked it in for very long. He admits he does good for awhile then he's not sure what happens. Anyways... I am getting to my whits end... We are in a rut and I need some encouragement or advice or something. We both agree we want this to work but this is not the life we want either... Any help ? anyone else been here?

Edited May 23, 2012 by Embuff

[ladyabstrused]

It seems that he may already feel so jaded working two jobs for you and your daughter. Perhaps that's what's making him "turned off" about marriage. It's a tough situation you're both in now, especially because you have a child together. My advice isn't really much though, but all I would say is please be patient and continue to keep it together not just for yourselves but also for your daughter.

 

Does he see your daughter everyday? I mean, you know, on skype or something like that? Sometimes children can bring adults together in a more positive way. Eventually the both of you would have to talk about how the future is going to be like.