I want to call him back but I am afraid he hates me.

[Moon in Taurus]

I have just shipwrecked. My life has been very eventful and I am in recovery mode. I met a very nice man and went on my very first date with him (the very first real civilized date of my life in fact). He immediately wanted sex. My unconcious mind exploded and I got somewhat upset. He got powerfully turned off and says he doesn't want to get involved with a person with problems though he acknowledges he likes me. I have calmed down and want a second chance but... what I ask is this:

 

Are there such creatures as men who can be patient, gentle, open-minded, forgiving, and encouraging to women who have had dependency problems and are trying hard to heal. PS I like him very much and would like him sexually if he would just be a little more... humane.

 

Also, I am afraid to contact him in case he is cold and withdrawn. I know this is an opportunity for both of us, but I am afraid it is lost and I don't want to expose myself to more pain if he snubs me. Do men resent women calling them in this situation? He was the one that initiated our going out and said he had no expectations.

[FreeMe]

This guy does not sound like one you should trust when you're in a vulnerable position as you are now. There are nice, patient guys out there - don't get yourself involved with someone who is already (on only the first date) showing signs of being a jerk.

[supermom]

He sounds like he was going to use you anyway. Sex on the first date? that's pretty ballsy of him to even ask you!

 

Stay far away from him, sounds like he is nothing but trouble!

 

 

went on my very first date with him (the very first real civilized date of my life in fact). He immediately wanted sex. My unconcious mind exploded and I got somewhat upset.

 

Maybe your unconcious mind was your concience and intuition

 

Immediately wanted sex? I smell a loser!

[Mr Spock]

Well it depends. Not everyone subscribes to "No sex on the first date" rule. If that is what he is looking for, then expect it. If you can't have sex without forming an attachment and that's what he wants, then don't have it. If you feel pressured, that's not good. I'd say keep your eyes peeled for other signs of life in your area.

[FreeMe]

Oh, and just the idea that you're afraid HE hates YOU tells me you are very vulnerable. He should be the one worried that he offended YOU. Please don't call him. I see nothing but trouble for you with you acting like the apologetic one - it's just asking to be used and/or abused.

[tiki]

Originally posted by Moon in Taurus

I met a very nice man and went on my very first date with him (the very first real civilized date of my life in fact). He immediately wanted sex.

 

Wait? I thought he was a very nice man that gave you a civilized time? He sounds like a douche bag to me. I wouldn't give someone the time of day that wanted to bang me up after a few hours and a full belly. You deserve better.

[Moon in Taurus]

Since I am a bit new to this place I am not sure how best to thank you all for your help except by posting another message. The miasma seems much clearer and I am just slogging along through the muddy water knowing it will get better for me. Mr Spock you are very astute.

 

So --- THANKS EVERYBODY. You're a great group!

[fundamental]

Moon in Taurus,

 

 

He is just upset that you didn't give in to him. You deserve better than that.

 

fundamental

[Mr Spock]

Sure. And don't forget, you have nothing to lose by telling this man that you are not comfortable having sex with him. Nothing.