MuscleCarFan Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 She sent me an email today titled "I'm very sorry Claire". She explained how sorry she is for everything she's ever done to me and everything she's ever said to me. She told me that she wants to change and ... I don't know if she really means that, or if that's part of her treatment or she's just doing this so later she can ask me for her return. I don't know. Lies. No one changes overnight. Forward it to your father and keep your guard up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
UpDownAllAround Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Everything going ok? I've grown a little concerned that we haven't heard from Clair93 in awhile. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MuscleCarFan Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Clair posted in Shelly72's thread about not liking her husband's son. I am curious what is going on too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clair93 Posted July 10, 2012 Author Share Posted July 10, 2012 No news, no more emails, nothing really. Things are quiet. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
MuscleCarFan Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Hopefully it stays that way permanently. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 (edited) No news, no more emails, nothing really. Things are quiet. Do your father or the other children appear to miss her? Edited July 10, 2012 by UpwardForward Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clair93 Posted July 10, 2012 Author Share Posted July 10, 2012 Hopefully it stays that way permanently. I just hope so. It's been awesome these past few weeks. Do your father or the other children appear to miss her? They go visit her twice/three times a week and talk everyday. My dad, doesn't seem so but you can never say how he feels inside. My 16-year-old brother, not at all. He says these are the best days of his life! He now brings his girlfriend over, something she would never allow. My younger brother and sister miss their mom but they also like the extra freedom that they now have. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
revenant Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 I'm coming in at the end here, but reading your first post left me so shocked and extremely angry on behalf of someone i've never met. Really really hoping you're ok now and that things only get better for you 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 I just hope so. It's been awesome these past few weeks. They go visit her twice/three times a week and talk everyday. My dad, doesn't seem so but you can never say how he feels inside. My 16-year-old brother, not at all. He says these are the best days of his life! He now brings his girlfriend over, something she would never allow. My younger brother and sister miss their mom but they also like the extra freedom that they now have. I just hope your dad does what is best for all of you and your siblings and pays attention to how nice and relaxed things are at home. I'm sure he is hurting and grieving, realizing that the woman he married is not the loving and kind hearted person he once thought she was. Is he seeing a therapist? Because I'm sure he is feeling some guilt too - Missing red flags and/or ignoring them because she is his wife and he didn't realize how messed up she is. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 I just hope your dad does what is best for all of you and your siblings and pays attention to how nice and relaxed things are at home. You might want to point this out. Say to him, Have you noticed how everyone in the house is now more relaxed and at peace? That was the price we all paid for having her here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clair93 Posted August 3, 2012 Author Share Posted August 3, 2012 She committed suicide yesterday. She wasn't successful... She's in hospital now. She sent me an email (a few minutes before her suicide) that it's all my fault (plus all the usual insults). But I never wanted this to happen Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 I'm so sorry for everyone involved. You have to know this isn't your fault; she's a messed up person. At least now she may get the help she needs. And I hope you realize she did this to get your dad to let her come home. Finally, she trumps you (in her mind). 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Desensitized Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 Wow. And Clair, it's not your fault. She is just really, really, really desperate it seems. I once had an ex-girlfriend that did something similar to this. She tried committing suicide (landed herself in the hospital by trying to OD) just so I would be with her. Ultimately, it worked for about a week or so - but I stayed strong and I cut the cord completely. Hopefully your dad can do the same and see your step-mom's actions as completely irrational and desperate. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
capricorndreamgurl3 Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 I am sorry to hear this Clair. I am new here and I have read this post in it's entirety and I am proud of how mature you have been in this situation. It also breaks my heart that someone has to go through something like this. I am also sorry that this woman has treated you this way. I just want you to know that NONE of this is your fault. This woman has serious mental issues and she needs to stay as far away from you and your family as possible. I hope your father realizes how messed up she is and doesn't give into her little games. I wish the best for you and I hope things get better soon. Update us ASAP, please. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 She committed suicide yesterday. She wasn't successful... She's in hospital now. She sent me an email (a few minutes before her suicide) that it's all my fault (plus all the usual insults). But I never wanted this to happen STOP! This is not your fault. You are not responsible for the behavior of a very sick woman. She is doing the manipulation thing by sending you...a child an email that it is your fault. I repeat DO NOT take on this burden. 12 Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 And show your dad the email so that he won't be used either. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 I'm with the others. Don't take on this burden! Clair, What is the reaction of your father and siblings? 6 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 STOP! This is not your fault. You are not responsible for the behavior of a very sick woman. She is doing the manipulation thing by sending you...a child an email that it is your fault. I repeat DO NOT take on this burden. As someone who has been suicidal, it is NOT your fault. She was supposed to be your parent. You were supposed to be her child. Not the reverse. You didn't fail her as a STEP-DAUGHTER. she failed in her capacity not only as a parent but as someone who treats a minor humanely. She might not have give birth to you, but that does not in this case change that fact. She utterly abused you and your position of authority. You weren't responsible for that and you aren't responsible for this. Last year, my daughter was seized by social services for a period of 5 months. I was NOT EVER an abusive parent (nor was that among the concerns listed). ANYWAY.... I did meet other parents who had similar issues to your step-mother. It wasn't those kids fault either. And truly, A LOT of them just didn't GET IT at all. I knew one Mom who couldn't even make it in regularly for her scheduled visits and threw the waiting room phone at the wall because they cancelled one on her when she no-showed for her kid again. THAT right there was built into her case for PERMANENTLY losing her child. Clare, this woman destroyed your personal property and cut your shoelaces after having been caught recorded at least twice! She wasn't stable to begin with. She's a lot like the other unstables I met. It's sad, it's painful but a lot of these people weren't ready or capable of being reasonable parents. She clear has some very blurry mental lines. It's tragic but it is NOT your fault. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
MuscleCarFan Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 She committed suicide yesterday. She wasn't successful... She's in hospital now. She sent me an email (a few minutes before her suicide) that it's all my fault (plus all the usual insults). But I never wanted this to happen Like everyone else says, it's not your fault! How are you siblings doing when they found out? What are their thoughts? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 I'm with the others that you should NOT blame yourself. She is a sick woman who's trying to get your father on her defense. Is she seriously injured? What happened exactly? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NoMagicBullet Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 I just got into this thread tonight -- oh, Clair, I am so very sorry for what you've been through, and I'm amazed at the strength and clear-headedness you've had in a truly awful situation. Like the others, I just wanted to say that her suicide attempt is not your fault, no matter what she says. She's so messed up, she thinks killing herself is going to be some form of revenge. Or if she really wasn't serious about dying -- as you said, she wasn't successful -- it was a manipulative tactic to garner sympathy from your dad or anyone else. Either way, what she is doing now is all about her not getting what she wants. From what you've posted, she was always about her and getting what she wanted. Hopefully this will get her the mental help she needs. I don't know if you will be allowed or get a chance to talk to a her doctors, counsellors, or therapists, but it would be good for them to have all that info you collected, including that last e-mail she sent blaming you. Her hate of you is truly pathological. I'm wishing the best for you & your family. I'm glad they have you and that this deranged woman is away from all of you for the time being. I hope she is kept away from you for a long, long time. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
capricorndreamgurl3 Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I see that Clair liked the previous post. I hope that you are doing okay kiddo. Just let us know as soon as you can how things are going. I hope that things get better. My heart breaks for you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 She committed suicide yesterday. She wasn't successful... She's in hospital now. She sent me an email (a few minutes before her suicide) that it's all my fault (plus all the usual insults). But I never wanted this to happen Print out the email, show it to your dad and he needs to give that email print out to her Dr's so they can see how 'off' she is. Though I'm sure by now they know all that's been going on. Clair, none of this is your fault! Your step mom has had issues for a long time but has been able to hide it well for a while. She's a broken woman and hopefully now everybody will stop protecting her (parents, even your father to a degree did protect her) and allow the Dr's to do what they need to do so she can get better. You are so strong and brave. Nobody should have to go through what you've gone through.. Please be good to yourself and don't let her make you feel bad or guilty..Again, NONE of this is your fault. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clair93 Posted August 4, 2012 Author Share Posted August 4, 2012 Thank you everyone. I don't know how could I get through this without your help I talked to my dad. It seems like they had a discussion a day before her suicide (she doesn't seem to be cooperating well with her therapists). We didn't tell my younger siblings what happened (just that their mom is in hospital). My dad also keeps telling me that it's not my fault. I know it wasn't my fault but I'm sad that this happened. Is she seriously injured? What happened exactly? Drug OD. She's fine now but it was serious I think. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 Thank you everyone. I don't know how could I get through this without your help I talked to my dad. It seems like they had a discussion a day before her suicide (she doesn't seem to be cooperating well with her therapists). We didn't tell my younger siblings what happened (just that their mom is in hospital). My dad also keeps telling me that it's not my fault. I know it wasn't my fault but I'm sad that this happened. Drug OD. She's fine now but it was serious I think. Good move on your dad's part not telling your siblings. And listen to your dad and give him a little bit of support. I has to be hard trying to protect his children and deal with her mess. I don't know if he loves her or not but it is still very difficult. I know you are probably sad because there is nothing you can do to change the situation. All I can say is to stay strong and we are here. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
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