Advice So Dumb Mistakes Don't Happen

[Joseph3]

Hello LS

Needing some advice, or more just reassurance so dumb mistakes dont occur.

 

Just a quick back story:

 

My Ex and I dated for 3 1/2 years before we broke up last Oct (about 8 months ago), and we were basically best friends a for a few years before we dated. She broke it off we me because she started having feelings for another guy, who was a friend of mine... saying that it was hard because she was an hour away because of school, and she couldn't see me every other day, and that was they way she always felt connected etc etc

Apparently, they kissed, made out, during the last month or so of our relationship.

 

The break up was brutal. Obviously, I was destroyed that this happened. But, one of my best friends helped me out since he has gone through more situations like this before. Told me to enjoy my freedom, get out do things. Which I did, I dove more into my work (Music Ed major, with performance and composition minor). Got more hobbies: Hiking, Snowboarding, Working out, Archery, and Weaponry . Got a group of friends to start a jazz band which we play at a local bar every weekend.

I got rid of my Facebook for awhile cause she kept messaging me, and liking everything I posted. I started no contact after reading the NC guides on here. Still, emotionally hurt but I felt like I got better pretty quickly. (Thanks to lurking on here )

 

Fast forward to March, which is the first time I see her at a party because we have a bunch of mutual friends from high school that were back on spring break. I just say "Hey, what is up?" Then go back to talking with people, and actually met a girl there and went on a couple of dates, nothing arose from it. Found out later that my ex really wanted to talk to me the whole night. But I still kept NC going

 

Fast forward to this Monday I see her for the second time at another party with my friends. We make small talk until we get to the bar, which is when we really started having a "catch up conversation" She literally knew everything that was posted on my facebook in the last 2-3 months (Which is when I reactivated it.) Asking me about my new TV, Guitars, Snowboarding etc etc. I kept moving the subject to some mutual things we enjoy instead of all on me or her. Later, my friends left us alone at the bar, which I still played it cool to the best of my ability. Until her bf showed up to drive her to drive her bike home. I made small talk with both of them still, and she told him that she still wanted to hang out with "the group" some more.

 

She leaves, I stay at the bar to finish my drink, arrive at my friends house about 45 minutes later. (Finishing watching the Cubbies lose... )

That when all my friends are asking me to go pick up more drinks because they cant drive, and she volunteers to come with. I should have said no... but I really did not feel like starting a scene with everyone there. Basically same kind of questions, even ones where I would get a call from a friend asking to come over later that night to chill and she would be like "Getting that sexy time?"

 

So, we get back and right now I just want to go for a walk because of her swarming me like this I dont want any more feelings to rush back and get hurt. So, I tell everyone I'll be right back Im just going to go outside and get some fresh air. I do, and about 5 minutes after I leave she come outside and said she wanted to walk and talk with me. I said Im just about to go back in the house in about 5. When she processed to slip out "Alright babe" To which she slap her mouth shut after realizing it. Totally catching me off guard cause that is what she said to me when we are dating. I just say "Guess that is going to have to stay between us now huh?" Then about 5-10 minutes later she asks her Bf to come pick her up.

 

Now, my only real problem is this: I, and a couple of my friends say it feels weird seeing us part now, when ever we are all hanging out. Of course, I say it is what it is. I feel that the weirdness well subside when we get use to her and I not being "us". And me getting back some of my individuality with this.

 

My feelings with this happening a is few. 1. She could just want the attention 2. She isn't not over me 3. She wants to have both cakes 4. Something completely different. I did feel some want towards her after this happened. Which, really saddened me cause I thought I was over her, but I will not let these emotion sway into doing something desperate.

 

Of course this got me wondering, should I just call her to chill and hang out so we can just become more comfortable around each other? Or No, should I not?

 

Other suggestion, advice, tips would be wonderful!

thanks

Edited May 24, 2012 by Joseph3
Missed words in title ....

[Tiera D]

option 3..your not even missing her,i dont see any point meeting up with her,its been so long u should get a new girl instead,besides she had a boy already..its normal to have those ideas about probably getting back,everyone has those when they saw their exes.NC all the way your doing good

 

TD