Great Relationship But Now She Needs Space?

[Rorschach64]

I agree with Mack 100% but alas break ups instill insanity within us. Mack gave him the necessary analyst of the situation and possible outcomes, he just needs to go through the stages of grieving and all that.

 

I believe, since I went through it myself, he will let it consume him to a degree, he will feel anger, sadness, despair, and etc but eventually acceptance.

 

gmoore, you try your damnedest to follow mack's advice and use LS to vent but I HIGHLY advise you stick to NC no matter what. I lost a 2,000 dollar laptop because I stuck to 11 months of NC, it sucks, but I am happy I did because I have my sanity back.

[gmoore]

I just want to thank everyone who has chimed in on this thread. It is incredibly helpful to have a place to vent.

 

I likely will seem less than sane at points & I understand that this is just the journey I have to take. I expect that there will be terrible lows and even some highs peppered in there but eventually I will emerge from this nightmarish reality a better man, I promise myself that.

[gmoore]

I'm laying it all on the table

Things I need to do to become a better man & a better partner:

 

1) Do not become emotionally unavailable moving out of the "honeymoon" phase of the relationship. Stay conscious, aware & connected to my partner and understand when I am becoming obsessive about my interests and alienating my partner.

2) Stay conscious about my physical well being & personal hygiene. I wasn't "dirty" per say but when we're comfortable we tend to let things slide.

3) Save money and manage my debt. I NEED to get my finances in order so that I can become more nimble.

4) Figure out what I want. What are MY desires, needs & goals? Give myself at least a rough outline as to where I'm going & where I want to be in 5 years.

5) Create, I need to create. I need to funnel the pain, hurt & loss that I feel into my passions. Art mimics life and I need to live, I need to find new experiences & new adventures.

6) Sign Up for the caretaker gazette & start weighing options. Get some carpentry experience and other experience for applying to care-taking jobs.

7) Go to therapy and work through some emotional issues that have risen to the surface. It's interesting how we can look in the mirror every day of our lives but it takes something like this to really "see" ourselves in the mirror.

8) Right my relationship with my father and possibly go see him.

9) Save money & sell as much stuff as possible. I need to lighten the load physically and emotionally and I figure I'll start will letting go of everything that I don't need so as to be more nimble, life can change directions like the wind sometimes.

10) Stop biting fingernails, it's unattractive & dirty.

11) Play my guitar again, for me.

12) Paint, I need to paint & possibly have a show to try to raise some money for my savings.

13) Learn to let go of the things that I can't control & to think positively, I will not sabotage myself with negative thoughts.

14) Learn to not be needy.

15) Be adventurous

16) Get in amazing shape & stay that way, for me.

17) Slow up on the beer & deal with my issues head on.

18) Learn to cope with my fear & anxiety issues & be a more open & accepting person.

19) Get my passport.

20) Address my potential fear of commitment. I feel like if had been mature enough I would have never become so "comfortable" and stopped acknowledging the needs of our relationship.

21) I want my partner & lover to completely fulfill my sexual desires, not porn. I'm wouldn't call myself addict but I realize now that it got in the way me and my partners sexual relationship and ultimately our intimacy.

22) I want to stop using porn period. My imagination should be enough for masturbation.

23) I want my SELF back!

Edited May 31, 2012 by gmoore

[gmoore]

Day 2 of NC. My head is full of snakes & there is only one thought I can hold on to & I bet you can guess what that thought is.

 

I've been running as much as I can. I just want to punish myself until my whole body is in complete and utter exhaustion in hopes that maybe, just maybe the physical pain will supersede the emotional pain for a few hours. One can hope...

[Mack05]

The list above you wrote gmoore. What you will find is talking the talk is one thing. Walking the walk is completely different. Sadly no words I can type, can take away the pain. This pain will get worse, alot worse before it gets better. Especially when she reaches out. You just have to dig your heels in and reach inside yourself for the courage you know is in there.

 

I am still not fully over the fallout of my last two relationships and those relationships were a disaster compared to yours. Take your time, feel your feelings. Try avoid harmful behaviour (over eating, binge drinking, drugs, rebound relationships). The key is to keep moving forward, even if it is very slow progress. It is vital now to fill the emotional gaps within you the right way.

 

My last breakup is the first time I have filled the emotional gaps in me the right way. Previously after breakups I gambled, over eat (put on 50 pounds), binge drank regulary, rebounded etc etc. I avoided the pain, instead of confronting it. This breakup has been the hardest by a long way for me. I am not even grieving her. She is a total moron. Its years of avoiding my emotions, which I can't run from anymore. Not if I want to meet the right kind of woman in the future.

 

Some things that helped me mate this time round..

 

1) Keep up the exercise. This is crucial. When you are feeling overwheling sadness/anger/pain get out into the fresh air (so much better then the gym IMO). Even when its the last thing you feel like, drag yourself out..

 

2) Spend extra time with family and friends. Instead of leaning on them and talking to them about her, try make an extra effort to be unselfish. Put more into those relationships then you ever have before. This isn't easy, but it is very rewarding down the line.

 

3) Find a peaceful place every night/morning and spend an hour in your own company. This will be very uncomfortable at times, but if you want to 'feel your feelings', this is what you must do. Some people swear by meditation. That might be worth a look..

 

4) Go through her behaviour at first. Try not to idealise her, but go through her negative traits. The things that really annoyed you. You are too emotional right now to focus on your flaws and mistakes. Give yourself a two month limit, before turning the focus inwards. When the time is right go through arguments you both had. Focus on her criticisms of you. What things about you, that annoyed her. Try look at it from a third parties point of view. Try think outside the box. It's like putting one big jigsaw together. When you piece it together, you will be able to buy self help books to help you emotionally grow. Make a wow to read two self help books..

 

5) Write and write. Especially hand write. Write the VERY first thing that comes into your head and don't edit it and don't read it back. This is so theuraptic. When you read it back three months later you will be like "what the hell!"

 

6) Make a list of goals. Short term and long term. Tick them off as you complete them.

 

7) Therapy. This can be frowned upon in society but a therapist will help you piece things in your head so much quicker. Not only that they will make you realise things you are not even aware of..

 

Focus on the four main area's emotional, financial, spirtual, physical..

Edited May 31, 2012 by Mack05

[gmoore]

Thanks again Mack. You have really taken the time to analyze my situation & respond with compassion and honesty time & time again and I truly appreciate it.

 

Therapy is actually one of the things I am most looking forward to right now. It is time to deal with my baggage and not bury it anymore. I truly want to be able to maintain my next relationship and give it my all whether it's with her or, dare I say it, without her. I'll get through this, the only direction I want to go is forward.

[Mack05]

Thanks again Mack. You have really taken the time to analyze my situation & respond with compassion and honesty time & time again and I truly appreciate it.

 

Therapy is actually one of the things I am most looking forward to right now. It is time to deal with my baggage and not bury it anymore. I truly want to be able to maintain my next relationship and give it my all whether it's with her or, dare I say it, without her. I'll get through this, the only direction I want to go is forward.

 

Anytime mate. I see a lot of me in you. I know what you are going through. If I could give you ONE piece of advice you remember from this thread. Don't react to your first thought/emotion..This is so hard to do when you are emotional..I've been doing it my whole life and I have found it hard to reprogram myself to not doing this.

 

Try to think things through and what the consquences might be if you react incorrectly to an emotional situation..

 

The serenity prayer really has helped me not react without thought first. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference".

[gmoore]

Thank you Mack, I want to think things through as best as possible.

 

I keep having this fantasy/daydream/wish or whatever you want to call it. Where my ex comes over (after me not answering her calls & texts) to my new place 3 months down the road. She's standing in the doorway crying & as I open the door she just grabs me & whispers "you're the the one, I want to make it work, I'm sorry, I did what I thought I needed to do to stay true to myself but I realize now that I want to be with you".

 

I know it's a totally sappy romantic comedy ending but it's what has been in my head & I had to get it out.

[wilsonx]

wow...3 months... someone knows how this game is played. If she comes back at 3 months, say hey how are you doing and kick her right back out into the world. If you take her back at 3 months, shes going to screw you over.

[Mack05]

wow...3 months... someone knows how this game is played. If she comes back at 3 months, say hey how are you doing and kick her right back out into the world. If you take her back at 3 months, shes going to screw you over.

 

I kind of agree with Wilson here. If she comes back after 3 months and you just take her back no questions asked, then she is bound to leave you again. You are giving her the message that she can come and go as she pleases and you will be just there for her..That won't work. The relationship is too unbalanced..

 

For me (after learning some harsh lessons) I would wait at least 6 months before in anyway engaging her and if she came back, by god she would have to work HARD for me. If she doesn't fight like mad for your trust back, then you know you made the right decision. Not only that, if she came back we would go at snails pace. I already put a list of conditions in this thread. They are my boundaries to ensure my protection from another broken heart. If she can't stay within those. 'See Ya'. I know what you are thinking gmoore its 'games' but it's not. It's about self preservation. This person left you. Now we can make all the excuses in the world for her and can look at this from a million different angles, but the harsh reality is that she left you. If she left you once, she has the capability of leaving you again, when she hits another rough spot in her life.

 

If she makes contact before this, that is way you have to ignore her. No matter what. You are setting boundaries. You are saying to her that if she stayed in the R you would have supported her all the way, but now she quit on the relationship she no longer has your support. Now believe me she is going to manipulate you to accomodate her needs. Whether this manipulation is intentional or not I don't know, as I don't know her but she is going to come to you to temporarily relieve her pain and anguish. It's human nature. This is not your job and that is why you must ignore her, no matter how much she tugs at your heart strings..This is where you need to be there for you and NOT her..

 

I know what will happen here though. So does Wilson. You will answer the call at some stage and this girl will eventually leave you high and dry. The heart wants what the heart wants and some anonymous strangers on a broken hearts forum have no chance compared to (in your head) the love of your life..

 

NC is about personal healing and growth, not replaying some romantic reunions over and over in your head..She left you. She does not deserve to be idealized..

Edited June 1, 2012 by Mack05

[Gulf-Delta]

 

It usually means "let me see what other guys are like. there's something I don't like about you but i'm too comfortable to deal with it."

Question is, do you want to be with someone who can possibly do this again? when you're married? kids?

 

While it does mean exactly what you said, there are many times where the dumper still loves the dumpee....they just don't put that love as a top priority, because they don't realize exactly how/why it's important.

 

The dumper may be looking for something that FEEL is important. Only after being screwed over by other guys, and "friends" do they realize what they had was one of a kind...

 

Not to instill false hopes or anything, but from what I've seen from my own parents, friends, the internet in general and even on this very forum they always come back because they learn that the love involved IS important, and should be placed at #1 on their list.

[Mack05]

Communication is key here. Hopefully when you went NC you made it clear EXACTLY what your stance was...She should know that you love her but that you both need significant time apart to iron out the issues that ended the relationship as well as your own personal growth.

 

She also has to understand she can't just waltz back into your life as if nothing happened. This situation is not easy gmoore, it really isn't. I can give you my honest and genuine opinion, but at the end of the day I am single. If I had all the answers, my own personal choices would have been a lot better..Every person and every relationship is different. Ok usually there is rarely an exceptation to the rule, but isn't amazing when there is! That is what makes life amazing as it is.

 

At the end of the day this is your journey. I will offer my opinion, but remember it's just an opinion. I have been wrong before and I will be wrong again. I can honestly say I think you are a sound guy and one way or another I hope it works out for you..

Edited June 1, 2012 by Mack05

[gmoore]

Thanks, I know what I have to do & I know walking the walk is easier said than done but I am strong and I believe our connection runs deep so as wild as this roller coaster gets I still deep down have a kind of serene sense of confidence that we'll have a chance to right the ship we'll be able to leave past in the past & build a better, stronger & even more loving bond. Maybe I'm overly optimistic but but I'm confident in this & I'm sticking to it.

 

In saying that though I must also say that I am not a doormat and I have loads of self respect. Because I'm optimistic it doesn't mean that I will rollover & take her back at the first sign of interest, she will have to show that she really wants to build a future with me, which I believe she will. She has a ton of pride & can be hardheaded but once she works through these things and realizes how trivial those things thing are in comparison to the emotional connection we share she will want to reconnect.

 

I was also wondering, what do you all think of astrology? truth, bollocks or somewhere in between? or is it all about what you personally believe & you can find confirmation if you believe it?

[gmoore]

I can honestly say I think you are a sound guy and one way or another I hope it works out for you..

 

Thanks Mack, I know it'll work out for the best, there is a calm at the center of my being that makes me believe that we both need this if we are to truly move to the next phase of our relationship or to understand that we have to move on. Like you said before when you stated that "You need to trust in god, yourself, whatever and let her go. If she comes back she is yours forever. If not then its never meant to be. What is for you won't pass you by." This is where I'm going.

[fetish1980]

This person left you. Now we can make all the excuses in the world for her and can look at this from a million different angles, but the harsh reality is that she left you. You are saying to her that if she stayed in the R you would have supported her all the way, but now she quit on the relationship she no longer has your support.

 

gmoore. really look at these sentences i cut from Mack's post and replay it in your head over and over. Be sure you don't make the mistake of torturing yourself as I did.

 

I'm only saying this because i know. I was there. Up until about a couple of months ago, i was making excuses for my ex as to why she ex left and torturing myself with loads of guilt for not taking her back. Trying to make sense of the situation, "If only i had", "If I take her back", "She did this because", and this and that!

 

The quoted post is music to my ears, something that you and I both can take from it. This states it perfectly because when all the dust clears, the simple fact is, she left. That means that any responsiblity you thought you had for her instantly vanished the moment she decided to walk away from your life. The relationship has forever changed at this point. Not saying that there's not any hope of reconciliation, but you will always have it in the back of your mind that she can just leave at any time for any reason. Can you honestly say you would be able to completely trust her not to do it again?

 

fetish

[gmoore]

. Not saying that there's not any hope of reconciliation, but you will always have it in the back of your mind that she can just leave at any time for any reason. Can you honestly say you would be able to completely trust her not to do it again?

 

Right now? No. Once we've had time to heal, re-evaluate ourselves & grow as people? Yes, I could absolutely forgive her as long as the circumstances are right & she is willing to take responsibility for her faults within the relationship as am I & we agree to actively work on them and commit to each other.

 

And yes, I absolutely trust her. I trust that she won't try to come back to unless she absolutely believes that it is what she wants & is willing to work for it. I know her well & I do not think she would pursue a second chance half heartedly.

[gmoore]

She never betrayed me, I can't blame here for making the decision that she had to make to allow herself to grow. I now believe that I need this time to grow & re-evaluate as well & honestly I think deep down I'm thankful that it didn't have the chance to deteriorate into a much worse break-up down the line. It would have made our chances of an honest true reconciliation much less likely because these issues never would have been addressed leaving much more scar tissue to deal with.

[fetish1980]

That's a fair answer. It didn't seem like your girl left out of malice or anger, so there's nothing wrong with being open to it say 6 months down the line. She actually took responsiblity and stated there were things she needed to evaluate in her life and was upfront and honest about it. I respect that.

 

I spent 8 years with my ex and it seemed like there was always a struggle for power and I believe she left in attempts to control me. She has admitted in the last few months that she made a mistake. I still don't really see any indication or promise that things would really be any different. I forgive her, but not enough to subject myself back in to that situation right now. I still love her, but I have learned to love myself first. That's an advantage I can say that I've gained by being single. I don't have to worry about her financial irresponsibility, lies, or manipulation tactics.

 

fetish

[Mack05]

This is a terrible mistake.

 

"She definitely has inadequacy issues & self esteem issues from teenage trauma & being in a psychologically abusive 4 year relationship right before our relationship (1-2 months in between relationships)."

 

Those ISSUES supersede any and everything in her life. Until they are dealt with, resolved and overcome... You should not / cannot trust her.

 

She is 28 and has not dealt with them yet and there is no guarantees that she will deal with them now or in the future.

 

 

 

You are handing all your power, control and trusting someone who admitted to you they are "unhealthy" and is not trustworthy.

 

Why would you choose to do this?

 

I explain future down within this post.

 

 

 

1. You don't know her as well as you think.

2. If she so desired, she would absolutely pursue a second chance with you half heartedly.

 

How do I know this?

 

She already did it the first time around.

 

There is no way possible she was over a 4 year abusive relationship in 1 - 2 months before you and her started dating. She was rebounding and took advantage of your good nature / "goodness" and everything you had to offer. No, I do not think her intentions were to ever hurt you and I do believe she developed genuine and true feelings for you.

 

Here is what happened...

 

You were "Captain Fix A Ho" and I am sure you were quite the hero. I have no doubt that you made a difference in her life, probably helped her "fix" / address a lot of her issues, showed her a better way to live, taught her to love and appreciate herself more than she ever did before, etc.

 

Problem is...

 

"Fixer Uppers" never end up with "Captain Save A Ho" when it's all said and done. They always leave you and someone else gets to enjoy all the "work" you have done.

 

Lessons to be learned from this experience and what you want to avoid doing in the future...

 

1. Do not get involved with someone who is 1 - 2 months out of a 4 year relationship.

2. Do not get involved with someone who was in abusive relationships and hasn't taken the steps / time to address their issues.

3. Retire your "Captain Fix A Ho" costume and never be one again.

4. Do not date or enter into relationships with "Fixer Uppers".

 

One of the reasons I love this forum. I have learnt so much from different posters, who offer dfferent opinons on certain situations. I can't tell you how much of Gibson's post I agree with, but I love the different angle and dimension he has added to this thread..I could never call my ex a 'ho' (I was 'Captain Save an emotional disaster') but my god I was with a 'Fixer Upper" the last two times, especially my last ex..Some other guy down the line (if she ever becomes self aware), will gain the benefit of what I taught her and what I tried to show her. Although she is not fully aware of this yet. All in good time.

 

In the meantime some of Gibson's lessons above, I have already applied to my own life. I hope gmoore this site helps you going forward, as much as it as helped me. Whether its venting, debating, disagreeing, helping, learning, absorbing etc etc it has been a god send. I am on the road to emotionally maturity, being a better communicator and letting go of my codepedent traits. I would never have even started without this site and the knowledge I have gained from LS.

Edited June 1, 2012 by Mack05

[geminni]

I have been following this thread from the start and all I can say is: Good luck Gmoore, i hope you stay strong and all works out.

 

I know its a rocky road ahead, but stay positive and optimistic.

 

All the advices given by Mack05 and other of course really make a person think.

 

And since i am in similar situation I can relate to a lot of this stuff, Ok. not such long relationship but I am not going to turn attention in this thread.

 

But if I could aks you guys to take a look at my situation any advice would be really appreciated and needed.

 

Thanks and good luck.

[gmoore]

I agree that this forum has been a great asset in maintaining some semblance of sanity through these really trying times. I am thankful for that, BUT I also realize that everyone's opinion is to some degree tied to their experiences with love & relationships within their life therefore must be understood as such.

 

where I do understand and even agree to some extent with some of Gibson's points I also get a sense of "bitterness" towards the situation at hand as opposed to empathy. I'm not saying that I don't appreciate the assessment of the situation I believe that life isn't as black & white as I feel Gibson has painted it.

 

In my earlier post I was also admitting to not being ready for such an amazing person to enter my life at that time. I was not emotionally prepared for what was going to happen and therefore acted very emotionally immature at times as did she. Ultimately I believe we we're great for each other but at times weren't ready to give up ground to each other for one reason another & I now see how emotionally guarded I was once we were fully in this new committed relationship.

 

And for the record I just refuse to believe that admitting you are possibly psychologically "unhealthy" also in turn means that you are therefore "untrustworthy". It just doesn't seem like a fair way to look at it.

 

However I do wholehearted believe that the situation must be approached with caution & that until the issues that she speaks of are faced, resolved & overcome that that chance of a successful reunion is slim to none (my own personal issues are not excluded here) & I have no guarantee that she will now or ever truly find ways to cope with & manage her issues. The only thing I would have to go on here would be her word & if she were to come to me at some point in the future & wanted me back and gave me her word that she has worked thorough her problems & learned to cope/manage them, then me, being in love with her, would choose to trust her.

[gmoore]

"However, stay focused on next steps (healing, accepting, moving on, etc.) and cross the above bridge when / if we get there."

 

This is all I can do.

[Insanityshorse]

This is a terrible mistake.

 

"She definitely has inadequacy issues & self esteem issues from teenage trauma & being in a psychologically abusive 4 year relationship right before our relationship (1-2 months in between relationships)."

 

Those ISSUES supersede any and everything in her life. Until they are dealt with, resolved and overcome... You should not / cannot trust her.

 

She is 28 and has not dealt with them yet and there is no guarantees that she will deal with them now or in the future.

 

 

 

You are handing all your power, control and trusting someone who admitted to you they are "unhealthy" and is not trustworthy.

 

Why would you choose to do this?

 

I explain future down within this post.

 

 

 

1. You don't know her as well as you think.

2. If she so desired, she would absolutely pursue a second chance with you half heartedly.

 

How do I know this?

 

She already did it the first time around.

 

There is no way possible she was over a 4 year abusive relationship in 1 - 2 months before you and her started dating. She was rebounding and took advantage of your good nature / "goodness" and everything you had to offer. No, I do not think her intentions were to ever hurt you and I do believe she developed genuine and true feelings for you.

 

Here is what happened...

 

You were "Captain Fix A Ho" and I am sure you were quite the hero. I have no doubt that you made a difference in her life, probably helped her "fix" / address a lot of her issues, showed her a better way to live, taught her to love and appreciate herself more than she ever did before, etc.

 

Problem is...

 

"Fixer Uppers" never end up with "Captain Save A Ho" when it's all said and done. They always leave you and someone else gets to enjoy all the "work" you have done.

 

Lessons to be learned from this experience and what you want to avoid doing in the future...

 

1. Do not get involved with someone who is 1 - 2 months out of a 4 year relationship.

2. Do not get involved with someone who was in abusive relationships and hasn't taken the steps / time to address their issues.

3. Retire your "Captain Fix A Ho" costume and never be one again.

4. Do not date or enter into relationships with "Fixer Uppers".

 

 

Wow, WOW! Haha, my situation is damn near identical to yours gmoore. We broke up a month ago now, for the EXACT reasons you have stated. Relationships her whole life, BAD ones at that. 4 years was her last and it was mentally abusive. We got together about 3-4 months after that. We kept it really slow at first but it gathered steam and before we knew it we were full on together. Anyway, a month ago we break up for basically the same reason. She just doesn't know how to be in a relationship with someone like me and has to grow and learn by herself. She is going to a counselor though (at least what she claims). Let me just say this, we have been NC without really talking about it for 2 weeks. Well.... actually we talked one time last week, really quickly though. It is definitely the way to go, I feel much better not knowing what the hell is going on with her right now. I'll hear from her when she reaches out cause I am NOT gonna do it. At that point I'll see what's up....

 

Anyway, what I actually wanted to say was... Gibson!!! Man you just shattered my world. I think those are rules I am going to live by for the rest of my life. Those all apply to my situation and I wasn't even aware of it until I just read this post.

 

Thanks man.

[gmoore]

Wow, WOW! Haha, my situation is damn near identical to yours gmoore. We broke up a month ago now, for the EXACT reasons you have stated. Relationships her whole life, BAD ones at that. 4 years was her last and it was mentally abusive. We got together about 3-4 months after that. We kept it really slow at first but it gathered steam and before we knew it we were full on together. Anyway, a month ago we break up for basically the same reason. She just doesn't know how to be in a relationship with someone like me and has to grow and learn by herself. She is going to a counselor though (at least what she claims). Let me just say this, we have been NC without really talking about it for 2 weeks. Well.... actually we talked one time last week, really quickly though. It is definitely the way to go, I feel much better not knowing what the hell is going on with her right now. I'll hear from her when she reaches out cause I am NOT gonna do it. At that point I'll see what's up....

 

How long were you together if you don't mind me asking? & do you have a thread on here where you've been logging your experience?

[Insanityshorse]

Yeah, it's somewhere buried in the threads. Sporadic updates really though. We were together for a year. It was the best year of my life for sure, her's too if I'm to believe her. I taught her so much about what a healthy relationship is. We were communicative, loving, honest, and physically perfect.... but apparently mentally she was not there. She tried to cut and run a few times in the first 3 months we were together but we worked it out. I kind of wished I'd let it go then, but I wouldn't trade the memories for anything really.

 

When we broke she did all the classic things, I saw her about a week afterwards to get my stuff and drop her key off. She was supposed to be at work but I guess had switched shifts with someone so she was home. She opens the doors grabs me and hugs me so tight and says into my ear, "I'm so glad I'm home so I got to see you, I miss you so so so much". I did not say it back because it pissed me off. Why then are we not together? Oh, right because you don't want to be or we would. She also said she was gonna call me soon to go swimming and I should come with her (this is a swimming trip she wanted to take to a nude beach, a ****ing nude beach!). You can not trust what a girl in emotional distress is saying, nor can you trust your own thoughts man.

 

She then went on to crying and saying that she felt like she was losing her best friend and her lover at once (she was right). She started saying things like, "we met as partners, we were never really friends before that, can we just be friends for 5-6 months and see where that takes us?". I told her that my heart wanted her in my life, but my head was screaming no. I can simply not be friends with someone that I love, what happens if we start dating someone new?

 

Anyway, NC is the only way to go man... for your sanity, for her sanity. You'll hear from her again, just like I will.... in fact I bet I hear from her sooner than later.