Sw3etdev1L Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 I am doing the invitations list.. And it's representing a burden for me. I get along with my fathers family, not my mothers. My mom died two years ago. There were two aunts who helped her through her illness, cancer. Which I would like to invite, but my father doesn't want to look at them at my wedding, he has rancors. He says they didn't help her because they wanted but because he pushed them. My mom didn't want to be helped by me or my sister because she didn't want to make us suffer. After that, I changed friends. Or well, renounced to my old friends, I was very mad at them because they weren't for me in those difficult moments of my life. Now I am getting married, two of them were my "greatest friends" which after my mom died were not sean as great anymore by me. One of them was getting a divorce, and left to other country to live and the other one got into some problems of her own. I haven't seen them almost two years ago.. The thing is, I feel a little bad that my friends list was so extended when I went partying and stuff.. when I decided to chill and have another type of lifestyle my friends list was reduced. And now, I don't know who to invite. I don't get along with those friends, I get along with new ones. Those new ones they are gonna be invited, or my good friends of college and stuff.. But still its hard for me to say.. I am not going to invite the friends I had two years ago.. People say you should just invite people you get along with now, but it is being hard for me to let go. any advice? I was also thinking to invite the people who gave me some support words in the shivah of mom, which is the jewish mourning days.. or who went to support me... I don't know what to do.. help! Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 I totally understand how you feel. A few of my best friends almost didn't make it and one couldn't make it. It's a sad fact of life. Sometimes friends do grow apart as you get older, which it sounds like in your case. You're settling down, they're going through other things. It happens. One of my friends out of the country couldn't make it either. I would go for whom you feel close to NOW. If the friends you know now feel more like casual friends than best friends, you don't have to invite them. You can simply say you're keeping it small. As far as your dad, it's really about who YOU feel you want to invite. If you're close to them, by all means. But you don't have to simply invite them out of obligation. You will find that you cannot please everyone, no wedding goes perfect. If you don't want to deal with the needless drama, opt for a smaller, close-knit wedding. We'll be doing this for our vow renewal. You shouldn't have to deal with that drama. Link to post Share on other sites
shorty7 Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 Is is common understanding that if you get invited to a person's wedding then you should invite them to yours? I'm torn on that as I can relate to those situations. Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 I definitely think so. Some of the people we invited we weren't close with and since my H isn't getting along with his stepfather, we doubt we'll be invited to his stepcousin's wedding. Even though we did nothing to them and we mistakenly invited them to our wedding, even though they left early! The exception to this rule is if you're keeping the wedding small due to budget constraints. Link to post Share on other sites
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