lonely in love

[shyla]

I live with my boyfriend. We have been living together for a year now. I love him. Problem??? he dont love me. In fact he says he dont even know if he has any feelings for me whatsoever. But were still together. Hr says things happen at different paces, and i shouldnt take it persoanly. Besides we have had alot of problems in our relationship. I wanna stay, and hope he will grow to love me, but i also think if he has not developed any kind of feelings for me yet, and weve been together a whole year, we'll he ever?? I know i will get hurt either way. Plus he never wants to havwe sex with me, and its been that way for about 7 months. He even admitted its beeen along time since he has sexually desired me. Am i an idiot for staying??? Cause I just really want thing to work out.

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "Am i an idiot for staying???"

 

No, but definitely in the category of less than bright.

[Ria]

I had a friend in your situation. She had been with her boyfriend for more than 2 years and he NEVER once told her that he loved her. She broke up with him - (because she desperately wants to get married - and he didnt want to marry her)now they are back together and he doesnt know how he lived without her - they are planning on getting married soon!

 

Leave him, and if he wants you back, he will chase you - if not then it wasnt meant to be !!!

[Taressa]

Shyla,

 

Our hopes can make us hang in there with a man through circumstances even worse than yours. The thing is, we often mistake wishful thinking for hope.

 

I believe your loneliness might be better comforted in the company of friends than in the company of this man. I'm glad he has been honest with you about the lack of love and I'm glad you're fortunate enough not to have been used to satisfy his sexual urges.

 

As long as you stay in the same place, repeat the same actions, there will be no change in the relationship. It's time to stand on your own feet and find a better goal for your hope. It will be hard to leave his security but with the help of your friends, you'll land on feet stronger than you imagined you had.

 

You'll be fine. Don't compromise the love you hope for by accepting less.

[Kelly]

Honestly I can say for real you so deserve to be loved back..in every way..not just a living situation. If he has told you he doesn't love you or want to have sex with you..you are a friend to him, not a partner. I think you know that. If he is going to love you..he would have already. You can grow to love someone but that isn't the kind of love you want from someone. You want the automatic love, not forced love. I think you should move out and get away from him. Since he is the one who doesn't know about you or your future together. Make a break before you get hurt even more.