195250 Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost three years, and up until now, we have had no major problems. We are both college students, who rarely drink, and are planning a future together. About a week ago, my girlfriend asked me if we could take a break upon returning from a weekend away with her friend(a girl). I told her I did not understand and she insisted that it would be healthy. Another reason I thought she wanted a break is because she is going away to study abroad for a month. Although she asked me for a break, she cried heavily and I did not believe she actually wanted to. She also insisted I should kiss some other girls, I could not understand. After prying more, she finally(two days later) told me she had gotten drunk and kissed another guy when she was away. She told me she understood the consequences of her actions, and that drinking is not and excuse, and she also said she loves me and still wants to get married, and that the incident meant nothing, and she could barely remember because of her elongated heavy drinking of mixed alcohol. I continued to ask for the details of the kiss, but she insisted that she simply could not remember. While I still love her, and I want to believe this was an honest mistake, I cannot tell if the drinking only brought out something she may have been thinking about doing, or if I can ever trust her again. I just don't know where I stand. Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
Author 195250 Posted May 25, 2012 Author Share Posted May 25, 2012 She also said it was only like a few seconds, but that she was being flirtatious and was disgusted with her own behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Given her behaviour it does seem she is remorseful, but simply did not know how to bring it up. I'd say give her another chance. And don't take her up on the offer, because that will make the both of you question your judgments. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 195250 Posted May 25, 2012 Author Share Posted May 25, 2012 Thanks! I also agree I'd not planned on kissing or doing anything with anyone else until I had this sorted out. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Give her time to prove she is truly remorseful. I am sure she will really try her best to show she is remorseful. Don't throw away a good relationship because of one stupid mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Wants to "take a break" so she can fool around on a trip and abroad, then get married on her terms later? Encourages you to kiss other girls during the break? People who love and respect their partner -never- behave in this way. You have a future cheater in training as a GF. Up to you the extent you want to ruin your life by marrying someone like this. Will also bet more went on than a simple kiss. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 195250 Posted May 25, 2012 Author Share Posted May 25, 2012 She did also say she wouldn't do anything conspicuous while shes away to prove herself.... but then again, how will I know? Link to post Share on other sites
Author 195250 Posted May 25, 2012 Author Share Posted May 25, 2012 actually, she also said before that that it was a "buffer" in case she did do something else so I couldn't get mad at her, and I said she aught to make sure she doesn't to anything regardless if i decided to take her back or not. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 She did also say she wouldn't do anything conspicuous while shes away to prove herself.... but then again, how will I know? The guilt would kill her, you'd notice a change in her behaviour. Don't worry too much. If you do, better to give up on the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 actually, she also said before that that it was a "buffer" in case she did do something else so I couldn't get mad at her, and I said she aught to make sure she doesn't to anything regardless if i decided to take her back or not. This is cake-eater parlance and Cheating 101. Do you want to stick around for when she graduates Cheating University? People who love and respect each other don't connive to set up legalistic "buffers," in an effort to salve their guilty consciences, they choose to continue to love the person they are with, especially if they intend to marry them. Good luck whatever you decide, it may not be as bad as all that, I'm cranky today , but if I were laying Vegas odds, they would be at least 3:1 in favor of her cheating. Up to you what kinds of odds you bet on in life. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 actually, she also said before that that it was a "buffer" in case she did do something else so I couldn't get mad at her, and I said she aught to make sure she doesn't to anything regardless if i decided to take her back or not. How old are you two? I dont believe she wants to marry you. Technically youre a god guy to marry on paper, but you dont excite her. I think she is planning a break to fool around and possibly find someone new to be with, and if she finds him, she dumps you. Thats IF she hasnt found the guy already, and he is going to the same place she is. If she doesnt, she has you to fall back on, but will most likely dump you at some point. I dont think she would go all the way to marriage. If she said she only kissed him for a few seconds, then that means she was all over him all night. The alcohol just let her do what shes been wanting to do, which means she was bored with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Reddice Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 actually, she also said before that that it was a "buffer" in case she did do something else so I couldn't get mad at her, and I said she aught to make sure she doesn't to anything regardless if i decided to take her back or not. Wow! She's definately up to something, but she wants you to relieve her of her guilt. She's talking as if cheating "just happens", which I can tell you is not the case. Not even with loads and loads of alcohol in your system will this just happen. She kissed, because she wanted to and now she's planning on more. If you do the same thing, you will release her of her guilt. If you do not... well, she will then tell you that she warned you and that you should have listened. Seems you will lose her whatever choice you make. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I have a hard time believing it was just a kiss. You don't throw away a relationship over just one drunken kiss. But, she wants to end it. Toss you to the curb. Why? The first rule of cheating: A cheater will only admit to what you can prove. And if they admit to cheating to you, they minimize what happened to make it seem less than what it TRUELY was. Because lets face it, you can't prove that it wasn't more than a kiss. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Hit and run thread. I hate this crap. Link to post Share on other sites
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