flat_lander Posted June 26, 2004 Share Posted June 26, 2004 I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years just over 3 years ago (I finished university, he still had a couple of years to go, I didn't want to "tie him down"). We remained friends, and I moved across the country and started seeing someone new. He has been seeing someone for about a year, they've mostly been in a long distance relationship. I got an email from my ex last week saying that he's visiting his girlfriend next weekend and wants me to meet up with him. He knows that I'll be in the same city that weekend visiting friends and family, and he wants me to meet his new girlfriend. I'm excited to see him again and to catch up, but I don't really want to meet the new girlfriend. My boyfriend (who knows about this meeting) said he will be with some friends just outside of town that weekend, so it will just be me, the ex and the new girl (he's told me she's the jealous type). Does anyone have any advice on how I can deal with my own feelings of jealousy towards the new girl, and how to approach her so that I can at least have a private conversation with my ex? I'd like to go out and have a fun time, not go out to have feelings of daggers in my back from her nor icy stares from me to her! Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted June 26, 2004 Share Posted June 26, 2004 bring a picture along of your boyfriend and "introduce them" to him by you talking about him and showing them their picture. This way, it shows the new girlfriend that you have move on and are really happy, which helps the "threat" issue. Good luck....btw I am good friends with my ex H's wife, we go out together even! So it is realistic. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
amanda25 Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 I agree with supermom, brag up your man, so that she feels no "threat" to begin with..Maybe you and her could become good friends, who knows? Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author flat_lander Posted June 27, 2004 Author Share Posted June 27, 2004 I don't want to meet her, nor to become her friend (besides, she currently lives an 8 hour drive away and in the fall will be across the country). I'm not really that happy with my current relationship, and I've hurt my ex in the past, so I see our meeting next week as his opportunity to burn me back. I need help to deal with the "happy couple", maybe I'll bring a friend along with me instead of going alone... HELP!! Link to post Share on other sites
amanda25 Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 Thats a good idea too..Maybe you should take a friend, not only so you don't have to go by yerself, but for support as well! Link to post Share on other sites
SingleInTheCity Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 I would simply let the ex know that maybe the two of them can meet up to grab a cocktail just to catch up but would not feel comfortable meeting the new g/f. If he isn't able to respect that then wish him well and leave it at that. I don't want to meet the next girlfriend, especially a jealous one and have to deal with the whole act she's inevitably going to put on to showcase the strength of their new relationship in an effort to make herself feel more secure in a very uncomfortable setting. Don't get talked into something you don't feel comfy with. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Unlucky In Love Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 I like the idea of bringing a friend along. Your ex-boyfriend must really have a lot of faith in his new relationship to want you to meet his new girlfriend, especially since she's the jealous type. Some men really are from Mars and have no idea on what an explosive situation this can cause. When I meet my boyfriend's exes, I always fly off the handle and act like a total bitch. I don't know why, but I can't help myself. I also bitch my boyfriend out after the ex-girlfriend leaves. I think you can handle this situation, though. If you bring a friend along of either gender, it takes the pressure off and makes it seem more like a social event where friends are just hanging out and catching up on old times. A foursome would definitely be better in this case than a threesome of you, your ex, and his new-girlfriend. Bringing along another person would really take the pressure off you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author flat_lander Posted July 10, 2004 Author Share Posted July 10, 2004 So my friend backed out last minute, so it was just the three of us. I got there 15 mins early and chugged a pint back. She was ok, I'm happy that he's happy and the conversation between us all went smoothly. They made a point of not talking too much about their relationship or getting lovey-dovey infront of me (thank god!), so at least they have respect for our past relationship. It still would have been nice to more time with him, particullary alone so that he might have opened up a bit more, but it was still good to see him all the same. Ce la vie! Link to post Share on other sites
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