Confused...

[PurpleMonkey]

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I basically need a lot of advice...

 

This is a long story..so I'll try to make it as short as possible...

I met this guy because my mom became very close friends with his mom...that was in March of 03...Well for the first 6 months that we knew eachother we wern't that close because I was moving...I wound up moving to the same town as this friend...So for awhile we were just friends...and than I really started realizing that I had feelings for him..but at first(This was in like January of 04) he liked my bestfriend...but my bestfriend wasn't interested in him..mainly because she had(and still has) a bf...so we were still friends and did like everything together and than in early March my bestfriend finally helped me get up the guts to tell him how I really felt..so I did..and he wanted to wait...but than on March 24th he basically asked me out..and for two months we went out...we were practically inseperable during that time...and I did my best to be there for my best girlfriend also...well during the month of May our relationship started dwindling...mainly due to the fact that we didn't see much of eachother...One weekend I got really upset because he went on a church campout and at church that Sunday(after not seeing or talking to him in 4 days) he went and talked to the guys that he had just spent the entire weekend with..and it really upset me..and I became somewhat selfish..but I mean we didn't see eachother that much because due to another problem my mom and his mom no longer speak to eachother...we don't go to the same school...and its not like I was calling him everyday...but I think I really became too much for him to deal with..so the next day...he brokeup with me..telling me that he no longer wants a steady relationship..and us being the spiritual people we are...both prayed and came up with two different answers as to what we should do...So I was pretty upset for two weeks..and thats where my best girlfriend comes in...and she is also my ex bfs (and friend) really good friend...I would tell her every feeling I was having from the breakup...and apparently she was tired of it...so I remember we were preparing to leave for a week long girls church campout and I explained to her that I wanted to change...well that week her and I got in an argument because she went out of her way to basically ignore me during that entire week...so this week...on Tuesday I got mad at my ex bf/friend about something very stupid and my best gf was having some problems with her bf that night....I made a chat room to apologize for being so stupid and acting like a jerk..and than out of nowhere they both totally came down on me about all the things I do that they don't like...they say I constantly want attention and all this stuff...they say that I cause drama...and even when I don't I make even the smallest problems seem worse than they really are...they both tell me I need their help and that I'm not being "the real Amber" that I'm not happy...and all this stuff...and for the past three days I've e-mailed them back and forth trying to explain to them how I feel...I've even apologized so many times...but they tell me they "need time"...time for what? I mean shouldn't I be the one who needs time? I'm the one thats been totally hurt by this entire situation....I'm practically over it...but their not...I mean what have I done wrong? I don't talk about people behind their back...I don't do anything but sit here and try to be a good person....so what is it thats causing them to come down on me like this? and what am I supposed to do now? Let them tell me I'm wrong? That I don't know who I am? I mean all I want is to be their friend...I love them both.....

 

 

~Confused~

[snickerdoodles86]

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For some reason I really do not like how your friends are treating you. There is something up like they are teaming together against you. Is there any possibility that they are thinking about going out with each other and want you out of the equation.

 

My advice is to stop e-mailing them and let them "cool-off" some. When you start talking to them I would ask them how their summer has gone and stuff kinda leaving yourself out of the equation and focus the conversation more on their own terms.

 

I don't know if this will really work or anything personally, I would just find new friends, these don't sound like they are true, die-hard friends.

 

The whole going to the same church slash being friends with church buddies seems to give this sort of a hippocritical almost gossipy over dramatical flare to these people but I don't know. I would just find new friends.

[PurpleMonkey]

No there is not a possibility that my bestfriend would ever go out with him..she is so in love with her bf....I think if she did like him she would have gone out with him back in January but she didn't...I think that they just need time to realize what their doing to eachother and to me...cause they can't totally blow me off like that...my bestfriend wasn't really even friends with my ex-bf until I moved here because I talked to her a lot and so she started talking to him...I dunno...I think things will get better....thanks for the advice!