moving on...

[kalik]

Hey guys! Here's what's been going on.

 

I've really started feeling better, especially in the last week or two. There have been a few days when I never even thought of my ex. And I have a new confidence that I never realized I possessed before. I can go up and talk to any person in the room, and just chat about anything. That's something I could never do before. It's amazing.

 

Last night I met this girl at a club and we talked for an hour, and I could tell we were into each other. I finally said, what the hell, and I kissed her. It felt GREAT! She got me into another club (back door) and we kinda did our own thing for awhile. I saw her before I left and we had a nice good night kiss. I saw some old work friends (my ex works with them now), and we hung out.

 

We chatted for awhile, but later on I ended up talking about my ex for about fifteen minutes. I got a little depressed/upset. I do care about her, and I love her (not in the same way) but I don't want to be with her now. Everything has been fine for a week or two, and I really feel great.

 

I don't understand why I got a little upset last night. Especially when everything was going amazingly great. Why did I get that way? It wasn't bad, but it was still there. What happened?

 

kalik

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "Why did I get that way? It wasn't bad, but it was still there. What happened?"

 

When you get over a physical illness, there are various stages of recovery. We often return to work but we still have minor symptoms that don't go away for days or even weeks more, depending on the illness.

 

The same holds true, probably even more, for injuries to the heart. Recovery is slow. We can try to fool outselves but we can't. And just as a heart attack normally leaves damage that can be detected by an EKG until we die, an emotional trauma, such as a break up, can leave a mark in us that can last (sometimes) forever. We can move on and our life can be normal but the pain that is left is simply dormant...but not gone.

 

You have not recovered from your ex sufficiently for the pain to become dormant and have no affect on you. But that's OK. Don't be so concerned if you have set-backs from time to time, those feelings are perfectly normal. If you had consumed alcohol at the club, that can make one a bit sentimental as well. Your encounter with this new lady dredged up some memories that were too close in time for comfort.

 

Continue as you are. See the ladies. Don't worry if you get flash backs of your ex from time to time. Those will decrease as you move forward.

 

You're going to be just fine.

[Kelly]

Well you felt that way b/c of the way you used to feel about her, especially when you are with other people who know her and you know you can talk about her with no consequences. It's perfectly natural. It'll be like that for a while...you aren't going to forget everything bout her even if you don't want to be with her..it's just the way it goes. Just when you feel all sentimental just remember why you broke up and think happy thoughts for real b/c there's nothing you can do bout those feelings.