friends are married and having kids, here I am - single..

[Yeahsussu]

Hey all,

 

I need to vent... I´m 26, and I´ve been feeling quite down for the past year, feel like I´m not worth anything. My closest girlfriends are all married and they are all expecting their first child. Life is going smooth for them.

 

And here I am, single. Feel like a total outsider. For some stupid reason I get kinda nervous when I hang out with my girlfriends, they talk about their pregnancies and their hubbies, and what can I say? Not much really, don´t really have anything exciting happening to me. Feel like I´m not an interesting person and not worth listening to and I don´t really know how to act. It feels like they think I´m weird. I often get the question if I have found a man yet and people kinda jokingly saying "Oh, you better start finding a man for yourself now darling, haha". That kinda hurts and makes me uncomfortable. Like I´m a looser cause I´m single and don´t have kids when I´m 26 (turning 27 this year)!

 

About 1,5 years ago I got dumped by the man I thought was the one for me. It´s been a long and hard way to put my self back together, but I just feel kinda depressed and down. Maybe I´m too hard on myself.

I have a good job, and I think I can say I´m good looking, I often get compliments from guys However, I wish I could find a good man again, but I just don´t know how to start. I feel so lonely now. I live in a very small town and it´s just hard to find someone...

 

Do you awesome people have any advice to get me in a better mood?

[FitChick]

You must live in the boondocks if everyone is married in their twenties. Don't worry, in a year or two they will envy your free, single lifestyle (but never admit it). Why don't you look for a job in the nearest big city? More single people, more things to see and do.

[Yeahsussu]

Thanks for your reply. Yeah this city is pretty small and for some reason people marry pretty young here But it feels like people think it´s something wrong with me just because I´m not married or have kids yet... or perhaps I´m just imaginating things.

Anyway, I have my family here and I like this place after all, even though I would prefer something bigger. I have a good job here and make a nice living, but the man in my life is missing. It´s hard to meet new people now when you´re not studying or anything, you kinda don´t meet new people as often as you once did. And I don´t really feel like going to the bar alone either...

[Pierre]

You must live in the boondocks if everyone is married in their twenties. Don't worry, in a year or two they will envy your free, single lifestyle (but never admit it). Why don't you look for a job in the nearest big city? More single people, more things to see and do.

 

It seems that the new role of women is not to get married or reproduce.

[Teknoe]

Ha... to OP I know how you feel. I'm turning 29 this summer and still single. A lot of my friends and acquaintances are now getting into "family life" (i.e. ranges from dating to married with kids on the way).

 

I've sort of been in my bubble, meanwhile. I notice I am much more introverted these days as a result. Honestly, I just prefer staying home being free to do whatever. I'm even thinking of cancelling my Facebook, as the older you get, the more "depressing" it gets to see everyone getting hitched and whatnot.

 

Anyway, dunno if any of that helped or not lol. Probably didn't.

[Exit]

With the divorce rates in the world I wouldn't let it bother me to see a bunch of friends all getting married fairly young.

 

I always wanted to find the girl I was going to marry fairly early too. But those years are just about gone for me. When I get depressed about it I think about some of the athletes or entertainers I look up to who are still single and a good 10 or 15 years older than me, these extremely interesting people who you think would have dozens of people wanting to be with them, and somehow they are still single. Probably because they're getting laid by different people in every town they go to... but still.

 

I'm probably better off this way, I probably would have been willing to marry one or two of the girls who are now my exes, just to fulfill my dream of being ~25 and already know who I want to marry. But knowing those girls as I know them now, I would have been trapped in a pretty terrible marriage.

 

Don't let it get to you. I'm starting to realize people in their 20s are still reallly immature, I almost think when I get back into the dating pool I'm going to have to date older and hope they're a little bit more grown up. All these 20 something friends of yours getting married and having kids might seem like the perfect fairly tale, and I'm not trying to say it's going to end up in a disaster or anything, they might very well be lucky enough to have found the family they want to create already, but it doesn't mean you should feel bad.

[FitChick]

Yeahsussu, why not try online dating and maybe you will find someone willing to move to your town.

[pink_sugar]

Do you live on the east coast? I know a lot of people in North Carolina getting married at 18 and having kids right away. You're only 26 and you have a rewarding career. I'm 23 and I'm married, but in no rush to have kids. You have plenty of time! We probably won't be starting a family until I'm at least 27 or 28 (My husband is 28, will be in his thirties then). I don't envy young parenting. Take your time!

[Mr Scorpio]

To my understanding, the "average" age at which people get married these days is around 26-28. However, there is an increasing segment of the population that never get married. This is to say that you shouldn't beat yourself up for feeling "behind".

 

Besides, like you said, you have a good job, and you get compliments from the opposite sex! Plenty of us here would gladly switch places with you. Are you a shy person? If not, next time a guy pays you a compliment, give him one back and see where it goes.