FWB 2 The Real Deal

[Kiree_Jay]

Hello LoveShack

 

Well to make a long story short I am in a FWB gone beyond. I've been in a fwb relationship going on 4LONG years. Never did i imagine it would go on this long. My story is not a new one, but in some ways it is unique. Here's my story.

 

When I met " JOHN " we didn't know eachother. I never heard of him. I just happened to need a ride from work along with my sister-in-law. THEY were friends. As time went on I began to hear his name pop up , so i inquired. He was a playboy and extremely great in bed and an absolute whore. I was single he was single. . . i was in need of attention. By then I had already became comfortable with him. He came on to me so we exchanged numbers. I was no angel back then . Did flings and fwb's whenever i felt so THIS time wouldn't be any diff. . . or so i thought. We worked in the same field of work and worked the same hours. It was convenient that we met up . . until he decided to get a gf ( soooo what ) We continued our sex. Me working around THEIR schedule. It didn't bother me until I realized he took up ALL of my free time. If it wasn't work or taking care of home. . . it was " JOHN". A yr went by and we ended up working together at the same camp. Diff hours. It became a little difficult and i wanted to end things. . . he didn't. By then word was out that we were an " item " . No one knew about the girl. I began to see him at work during breaks and he would see me after work. He moved in with his GF but still continued to see me. Before you know it, we were in BROAD day light. PPl would see us together. PPL that worked with us! If he didnt care. .. . then i didn't care. 2 years comes. . . I get a phone call from his GF and played it off. They were ALWAYS breaking up and making up. But i didnt care. . . better her than me. I had EVERYTHING i wanted. The guy, my free time, gifts, dates. Sometimes he would stay the night. EVERYTHING was GREAT until something from my past came up. WAyyyyy back in the day when we met i use to ''talk'' to someone else. " JOHN " and i weren't committed. The person i use to ''talk'' to knew " JOHN" . . . . By then " JOHN" grew feelings for me and I grew feelings for him. I lied and eventually fessed up. Little did i know he was going around talking about me. About how he wanted to be with me and this and that blah blah blah. In my head it was sex and yeah i cared about him. But not enough to be with him. Sh*t hit the fan but. . . . he stayed. He even took me out for VALENTINE's day and left his GF home. She called the job looking for him i heard. It was very awkward being with him after he found out. He was SOOOooOOo cold to me but by the end of the night we were back at my place making love. He stared at the ceiling afterwards and i asked him. . . are you coming back to me? By then i knew i was caught up. The 3rd year came around and still we were together. He would threaten to do bodily harm to me if he ever caught me with someone else. i didn't want anyone else so i brushed it off. He eventually broke up with his GF after she found our texts. He moved in with me and then OUR probs started. I started pressuring him for a relationship or i was through. I mean 3 years?!?! He met my son and my mother. same friends. Everyone thought we would get married. Whenever we had arguments EVERYONE would make us fix it. THAT my friend is a relationship. We had numerous pregnancy scares and he stayed. . until the last one. I decided i wanted to keep the baby if it turned out i was. He left and accused me of trying to trap him and ruin his life! I was so hurt and shocked. I mean 3 years and you're living with me and being a father to my son. I took it hard. I eventually got through it and then. . . he came back. We took up where we left off. By then EVERYONE knew our business. Rumors were spread about how I got an abortion (which i never did) I was so embarrassed. Again i started coming to the job and he began to find his way back to me. BUT recently he got a girlfriend.... And tried to keep ME too. Again i was hurt and shocked. Went through my depression. I was in love with him. But he still came by my house and i still came to the job. Problem was. . .his new gf use to work their too. EVERYONE knew her AND me Me being sprung stayed and once again found myself BACK in the old place i use to be. He blamed ME for why we weren't together!! REALLY? get outta here. Year 4 is here ,2012, and yet again he has broken it off with the new gf. 3 x to be exact....

 

I know, long story. My question is Why would a guy stay with a female who he believes slept with his friend, tried to trap him with a baby AND added to his long line of aggravation? He now wants me to get his name tatted! Says neither one of us are going anywhere and that i'm his property and i belong to him. has anyone ELSE been in THIS type of FWB scenario??

[skywriter]

Kiree_Jay,

 

My question is Why would a guy stay with a female who he believes slept with his friend, tried to trap him with a baby AND added to his long line of aggravation? He now wants me to get his name tatted! Says neither one of us are going anywhere and that i'm his property and i belong to him. has anyone ELSE been in THIS type of FWB scenario??

 

 

Because he likes the drama lifestyle, and mostly cause he can! If you don't go anywhere and keep playing out the drama then you might as well get the tattoo. It's all about ego's here and that's a sad situation to bring innocent babies into.

 

No, and yes, to the FWB scenario question. I suppose to an extent as I have been involved with a MM, and I am no longer in contact and don't intend on ever looking back.

 

I'd say if this story is the best you can expect from this guy, then you ain't lost much leaving it behind.

[Kiree_Jay]

It's becoming easier to move on really. And I would NEVER intentionally bring an innocent baby into the situation. Ugh! But ur right! If that's the best he has to offer then I don't have much to lose. Nice to FINALLY agree with someone on my OWN situation

[Kiree_Jay]

And congrats to moving on!

[oldshirt]

This isn't a FWB situation, it IS a relationship....it is just a dysfunctional and bad relationship.

 

He is simply a playa' and a dog and is using you for his own jollys and is having his cake and eating it too.

 

And you have such low self-esteem and self-image issues that you allow yourself to be used and manipulated because you feel you don't deserve any better and that the table scraps you are being thrown is the best you can get.

 

The reason "why" he stays is because he can. He knows that a woman with standards and self-respect and that knew she was deserving of a man of character and quality would never even speak to him.

 

He has basically been using you as an unpaid whore but does he even seem appreciative that you have saved him 1000s of dollars in prostitution fees? and he has done this under the guise of "FWB."

 

This is not a FWB situation as most FWB situations either move on to a relationship when people are finally able to accept and admit their feelings for each or drift away when one or the other finds someone that they do develop a relationship with.

 

This is a relationship, it is just an exploitive and dysfunctional one.

[Radu]

 

I know, long story. My question is Why would a guy stay with a female who he believes slept with his friend, tried to trap him with a baby AND added to his long line of aggravation? He now wants me to get his name tatted! Says neither one of us are going anywhere and that i'm his property and i belong to him. has anyone ELSE been in THIS type of FWB scenario??

 

Wow ... that's not FWB.

I think he is going for a form of polygamy.

And he has so many issues.

I'm curious, have these thoughts crossed your mind yet :

- a playboy means he ****s a lot of girls, which means he may carry a lot of crap ... you use the pill, right ?

- why do you put up with this bull**** ?

My money is on very low self-esteem.

- he cheated on his gf's with you, yet you are bummed out by the way he behaves ... has it ever crossed your mind that what he did to them [and some of them were put through hell] he will do to you ?

- the tattoo is what he said, a mark of ownership ... he is asking you to remove your options by your hand and give him more power in your relationship; considering how he behaves, will you do it ?

- you have a son, do you want him to grow up like this guy ?

Because kids learn from the relationship of their parents, think back about who your female/male rolemodel was in your life that you are willing to put up with this much bull****.

- he might give you a serious STD and unknowingly you might pass this to your son ?

- at least 3 women right now hate your guts, and they didn't deserve this ?

Why do you have this little empathy for other human beings ?

[Kiree_Jay]

I must admit you ALL are right. Yeah I might have had low self esteem and yeah i might have taken him from them and yeah i might have let him do what he want. I KNOW what I did was wrong and trust me . . . Karma paid me a visit. I met him an escaped from what I was in so YES YES YES I kept him and stayed with NO regards for his gf's. I NOW feel bad ( i know 4 yrs to late ) but my selfishness has not changed.... I just wanted to know HIS train of thought so I could break away with little to no pain . And a free whore? A Prostitute? Nah. . if ya really look at it. . . men buy and barter with their GFs all the time. So. . . they too are being bought and vice versa. Just cuz there's a lable on it doesnt make it aaaaaany diff even with marriage ( shrug )

[Kiree_Jay]

And I waited 2 yrs before they met. If i spend so much of my life with someone and i care for them then eventually i'll have to mesh them. He's a terrible guy when it comes to women ( i get that ) but when it comes to my son he's the best! Our families and friends are so meshed that it comes naturally for all of us to be around eachother

[Kiree_Jay]

and STD's yea i freak out about that. He's the only one i'm with and sadly i know he's with other girls. . . ugh! Birth control did that but he seems to want me when i have the 'wait' period too. I dont put it all on him tho. it takes two. I know his GFs hate me ( if they even know who i am ) and i'm TRYING the whole empathy thing out with any future person i decide to engage with . Its just. . . .i'm attached to ''John" and i love him now. It sux. I know he'll do it to me but i rather have my happy moments and it be over than to wonder what it would have been like UGH! I actually want it to be over cuz he's sucking the yearssss outta my life

[Radu]

and STD's yea i freak out about that. He's the only one i'm with and sadly i know he's with other girls. . . ugh! Birth control did that but he seems to want me when i have the 'wait' period too. I dont put it all on him tho. it takes two. I know his GFs hate me ( if they even know who i am ) and i'm TRYING the whole empathy thing out with any future person i decide to engage with . Its just. . . .i'm attached to ''John" and i love him now. It sux. I know he'll do it to me but i rather have my happy moments and it be over than to wonder what it would have been like UGH! I actually want it to be over cuz he's sucking the yearssss outta my life

 

You really think he's good for your son ?

 

How did you get to the point where you accept this, who was your male rolemodel in your life ?

Because i know what will be your son's male rolemodel in his life.

Do you want your son to grow up like him ?

[spiderowl]

You are letting him have his cake and eat it. Of course he is going to stay with you as long as that is the case. Maybe you tolerate his girlfriends because you think he would never just stay with you. Maybe not. I don't think you are as confident as you sound. You enjoy the fact that he's cheating on others. Somehow you think that because he's cheating with you, that he's choosing you above others. He's certainly keeping you around but don't you deserve to have that made formal and proper, i.e. that you are his girlfriend, fiancée? Why let him mess you about like this? If you don't take a stand with him, you'll always be his fallback girl when he fails to convince others that he can be honourable and faithfull.