I am the oldest of six and I'm feeling left out by my three younger sisters

[lizita14]

I don't understand why my sisters treat me so differently. They always leave me out when they go out. They only go out with me when I have money or when they need me to help them out with something. I have been feeling pretty depressed lately since they tell me things I would never tell them. They say I am old fashioned in my way of thinking. They don't believe in God and I do. They never come to me for advice...only after they made the mistake and need help with whatever they did...I don't know what to do...because this is really making me hurt...since I am the oldest when they were younger I used to take them out all the time and pay for everything...but now since they all work and have a car...it's like I never existed..I really want to appreciate me but they don't

[d'Arthez]

That is a very difficult situation to be in. I am not sure how much you are apart age-wise, but is it possible that you are like a younger mother to them?

[january2011]

I'm sorry you're going through this. From experience, I think that sometimes, younger siblings feel closer than older siblings and it can be quite an isolating experience when they seem to shut you out. You know some of the reason why they don't feel that you want to spend time with you. And I know it's very painful to hear that from loved ones, especially if you feel that you were there for them when they needed you.

 

Unfortunately, as adults, there aren't the rules of a household run by parental figures to keep siblings together. Once everyone reaches adulthood, they can drift apart unless they make the effort to nurture the familial bonds. Your sisters have decided that they don't want you to be a part of their lives. And unfortunately, you need to respect their decision. Even if you feel that it's misguided and very hurtful. If they are over 18, they are most definitely allowed to choose who they want in their lives.

 

Sometimes, younger siblings also go through a phase where they try to break free of everything that reminds them of their childhood. That may mean rebelling a bit as they search for independence and find their place in the world. As they get older, this tendency may die down and they want to reconnect and re-establish old ties.

 

For now, you may have to be the adult about this and tell them that you are going to respect their decision and you will miss them terribly. However, if they ever need you, you will always be their sister and will always be there for them, no matter what. Then, you need to get on with your life and look for other people to connect to.

 

If the depression continues for a significant amount of time and is having a significant impact on your health and daily functioning, I'd advise speaking to a therapist.