digger Posted June 26, 2004 Share Posted June 26, 2004 The divorce is final within a week or so. She knows I love her more than life--she says she knows it. But SHE doesnt love me anymore. My unbreakable no contact started yesterday and Im gonna live it. But the last time I spoke with her (fri) i asked--is it over forever?? She said "YES". After 21 yrs a big, fat ole YES! I said, "how can you know what youre gonna think in 6 months?" Do you buy this YES? This unemotional ice cube after 21 years or will that all wear off? Any experiences? Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted June 26, 2004 Share Posted June 26, 2004 If she's felt this was for some time then think it's really very very unlikely that she will change her mind. People in long marriages do fall out of love sometimes, it's happens to many people. Your wife wouldn't be getting a divorce unless she was sure. The only exceptions I know of are when the couple's relationship has been badly affected by something fairly specific for which there is a prospect of recovery or improvement over time (mental ill health, death of a family member, infidelity). Other than this when people fall out of love and feel that way for a fairly long time, it's usually permanent. Sorry I hope I'm wrong. Your plan for recovery is a good one. Link to post Share on other sites
Fancy Posted June 26, 2004 Share Posted June 26, 2004 I'm sure you must be going through an extremely difficult time right now. I'm really sorry for your pain. No one can really answer your question here because we don't know her, know you, or know what your relationship was like. If she's determined to be away from you then you'll just have to take her at her word. I know it's hard to accept something like this after you've invested 21 years, but in time you will accept it. Right now you need to focus on looking forward and thinking about what you want to do with the rest of your life and not replaying the past over and over. Unfortunately, there's some things in life we simply have no answer for. I have situations like that myself. After belaboring it for way too long, I finally realized that it is what it is and nothing I can do or say will ever change it. This too shall pass. Link to post Share on other sites
dasani08810 Posted June 26, 2004 Share Posted June 26, 2004 Just a suggestion: Never ask a question that can yield an absolute answer. NEVER. Especially to someone you think may be confused. All this does is get them to say YES to get you to just back off so they can really think. However, once they say YES; if they have any stubborness in them, that also adds to the solidity of their answer. Sooo never ask a question with absolutes!!! Even if they want to change their mind in the future, simple pride will prevent them. Link to post Share on other sites
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