Can this friendship be re-started?

[SpiralOut]

There was this girl I was aquainted with when I was in uni. We didn't really hang out one-on-one but we would chat sometimes in class, and if we ran into each other on campus we would talk. We had each other on msn messenger and would sometimes talk on there too. She is a very friendly person.

 

After getting facebook a few years back, she would invite me all the time to different group events. I never went. I had trouble understanding what she was inviting me for. Why would she want me to go? Also, I have social anxiety so the idea of meeting up with her and a bunch of her girlfriends that I have never met before really intimidated me. I was afraid of embarassing her (and myself) in front of her friends by not having anything to say, or saying the wrong things, etc.

 

Eventually she got upset and said "you're always too busy!" and didn't invite me out to anything anymore. I don't blame her. I did ask her if she'd want to meet for a coffee but did not receive a response. I guess she was too annoyed with me by that point to be interested anymore.

 

We are still FB friends and since last speaking to her she has gotten married and had a kid. Now that I am feeling better, I really regret not taking the chance to go out with her and maybe become friends. I am thinking of sending her a message to ask how she is, and maybe explain myself a little. I don't like the idea of her thinking I don't like her. That's not what it is. Would it be weird to do that? Should I try to befriend her, or just leave her alone?

Edited May 27, 2012 by SpiralOut

[whichwayisup]

I would be totally honest.. send her a note saying congratulating her on her marriage and child, then let her know you'd like to get together for coffee. Just let her know back then you had some social anxiety that affected you going out with groups of people and at that time it was easier to say you were busy rather than say the real reason why. Not that you owe her an explanation, but since she felt brushed off by you and went on with her life, she may wonder why all of a sudden you want to renew the friendship.

 

Though I do think since so much time has gone by she may not be interested since she's already not responded to your note.

 

You can't control what others think of you, so try not to let that get to you.. I know i've been where you are before since I suffered from anxiety and panic attacks there were times I said no to many people, some stuck around, some didn't. I figure those who didn't stick around weren't true friends to begin with.

[SpiralOut]

Thanks. That's exactly what I did. I got a response within a couple of hours agreeing to meet up. She wants me to meet her kid. Ahh! Kids make me feel nervous! But that's the way it'll have to be, I'll just suck it up and it should be fine. I'm still surprised she agreed to it so easily. In fact it makes me kind of suspicious whenever someone likes me. I'm not sure why that is.