What the HELL?

[Leon]

I have had difficulty having sex with my new GF, we have oral sex, but always fail when it comes to sex. I was suggested a therapist, but what can therapist possibly tell me to solve the problem? I am devastated. I love her and want to marry her some day, but this way, I don't even imagine how our honey moon will go.

 

HELP!

[Tony T]

You just got a new girlfriend and you are already thinking about the honeymood? That's great.

 

Your post is extremely vague. There are so many ways you can have difficulty with sex, from inability to gain and/or maintain erection to lack of lubrication or just plain desire. Are you trying with or without condoms? Is she on birth control or not?

 

Problems with sex can range in cause from psychological factors, such as stress, to medications being taken, to fatigue from overwork, to food allergies, to just not being sexually attracted to the partner, etc. You may be best first getting checked by a doctor. If she is not lubricating properly, that can be handled by using a lubricant.

 

You give no details about her attitude, whether or not she is being supportive here or what.

 

If you post exactly what the difficulty is and the brief circumstances, we can probably help you or send you in the right direction.

[Paulie]

Yeah...I agree with Tony...what exactly is the problem??

 

And while counseling may be a wonderful option for a married couple, if this is your new girlfriend, and you already need to see a counselor...I'm not so sure I wouldn't think twice...

 

We definitely need more details, though.

[Leon]

No, the problem is once I tried to have sex and while putting on a condom, I lost the erection. Now when having oral, everything is fine, but when its time to put condom on, I am afraid and lose it. And I noticed I need oral sex before i become fully erect. So I dont know how to change this pattern. I am fine physically, but, yes, I do admit, after that incident, I am not very confident, so we setle down for oral sex. But I dont want to get stuck like this.

 

I am sure I can go ahead and have sex, if there was no condom, because i am fine while she is giving me oral, but the idea of stopping and struggling with the damn rubber, just spoils it, and she is not ver good at putting it on. Withdrawal method - she is afraid, and I dont want it either, cause once I imregnated a girl like that. SO what the hell should we do?

 

Thank you

[Tony T]

Condoms have never done it for me either. They ruin the mood of the occasion and it's awkward when you have to put them on and they sometimes don't go on right.

 

If your girlfriend refuses to take any kind of birth control, and there are many types to choose from, and your only method is wearing a condom you will just have to get her cooperation in helping to put you at ease. Perhaps she can stimulate you in some way while you are putting on the condom.

 

I also have a feeling that having oral sex pretty well does you in for a time. It takes a lot of blood to make the penis erect and if you become satisfied during oral sex, little "Freddie" may not be ready for intercourse for a period of time.

 

You might want to consider getting stimulated through foreplay and going straight to intercourse and see how that works. If you are under 40, you are way way too young to be having erectile dysfunction unless there are other medical or psychological factors you have not mentioned.

 

Your final option is to see a physician and to explain the problem to him. There may be some underlying medical problems, such as diabetes or high blood pressure, that you may be unaware of that are causing this problem.

 

This can be easily corrected so hang in there. And be sure your girl remains patient and understanding.