Lobouspo Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 When something at my house needs fixing, or I have issues with my car, I get someone else to fix it. As a man it bothers the s--t out of me that I'm not good with home or auto repair....its been a minor issue in past relationships, its mainly just embarassing for me....Is this a dealbreaker for you ladies?
Emilia Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I'm good at fixing stuff, don't think it would bother me if the guy I was seeing wasn't. Especially if he was a good cook 1
Ruby Slippers Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Not a deal-breaker, but I really, really, really like it if he's handy around the house. I'm sure you can take classes and learn this stuff. I have good woman skills, too - cooking, baking, and the like.
wordrock Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I'm good at fixing stuff, don't think it would bother me if the guy I was seeing wasn't. Especially if he was a good cook I'm a great cook, was previously an IT business consultant at a management level, a veteran, college educated, young, handsome, in great shape, very social, romantic, and I'm a writer to boot. What's the catch? I'm bat **** crazy and I go for similar women. You can't have everything.
Ross MwcFan Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I think it's quite common for guys to be a bit crap at home repairs and auto repairs. Personally, I think I'm quite good at home repairs. Whereas as far as auto repairs are concerned I just don't know what I'm doing. I think I'd be good at changing a wheel and that's pretty much it.
Forever Learning Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 When something at my house needs fixing, or I have issues with my car, I get someone else to fix it. As a man it bothers the s--t out of me that I'm not good with home or auto repair....its been a minor issue in past relationships, its mainly just embarassing for me....Is this a dealbreaker for you ladies? Handy guys are hot, but it's not a dealbreaker, it's just helpful in life. A dealbreaker for me is lack of integrity, honesty, loyalty, kindness, and affection. Those are the innate qualities I search for now. And I know I must foster them within myself in order to be worthy of someone else with these qualities. And so I do the best I can, to grow these qualities within myself. Never easy, no one is perfect. But very worthwhile. Cheers! 2
Krytie TV Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I've never heard from a woman that she made any relationship decisions based on a man's "handy" rating. I have talked to quite a few who might poke fun of their mate's lack of handy ability, but they have never resented them for it. You'll find that in the game of love, logical and concrete characteristics rarely play a serious role in chemistry. It's a game of what we're willing to dismiss or overlook in a partner. You don't have to accept not being handy, however. You can learn, especially when it comes to domestic repairs. There is so much information out there and while house repairs might seem scary, it's usully just a mass of wood, stone, and nails. As for car repair, that's a different ballgame. Training can often be needed, but again... the info is out there if you only seek and have a bit of confidence.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 My ex husband was the epitome of unhandy. So am I, so there were plenty of sorry messes. My husband now is a super handy and hard working person. I LOVE it. But I would have still loved him without this big bonus trait.
lino Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Forget what the women think about it, be handy for yourself! It'll help you out in many ways other than dating. I can't imagine not being able to do work around my house or on my car / motorbike.
TaraMaiden Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 When something at my house needs fixing, or I have issues with my car, I get someone else to fix it. As a man it bothers the s--t out of me that I'm not good with home or auto repair....its been a minor issue in past relationships, its mainly just embarassing for me....Is this a dealbreaker for you ladies? Initially? No. eventually? It depends. do you do other stuff around the house, like cook, take out the garbage, do the laundry, the dishes, you know...."guy stuff" ......?
El Brujo Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I give the lie to that line. Glass is about the only thing I can't work very well with, but women avoid me like the plague.
maybealone Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 My dad taught me well, and I can just about anything around the house that needs to be done. I don't need a handy man, nor would I seek one out. I know pretty much nothing about cars, and I don't care if a man does either. What does matter to me is that he is willing and able to help manage the cars by making appointments with mechanics, taking the cars in, filling the gas tank if he's the one that empties it, that kind of thing. I would feel the same way about the house if there was a problem I couldn't fix. Don't leave finding someone to fix things and making appointments with them all for me to do -- be willing to help with that.
Imported Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 If I have the tooling for it, I can fix anything. I am an A&P mechanic, leaning more towards the airframe/hydraulics side. Other than coding I can do anything to a car. Handy around the house....pretty sure I can build a house (ok, never did before other than some minor framing and drywalling, but pretty sure I can build an entire house). Kids toys that needs assembly.....I can assemble without reading the instructions and rarely have any "spare" parts. Ikea furniture, I read the instructions first and then assemble with little to no problems. I have had many women tell me they love men that can do all of that. But I think they already liked me to begin with and if they didn't compliment me for that, they would have done so on something else.
january2011 Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Handy guys are hot, but it's not a dealbreaker, it's just helpful in life. Forever Learning pretty much summarises my point of view: a competent guy is H.O.T. A brainy competent guy...hmm...
GravityMan Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Forget what the women think about it, be handy for yourself! It'll help you out in many ways other than dating. I can't imagine not being able to do work around my house or on my car / motorbike. Agreed. Handy-ness is something that can be learned, it just takes effort. There are good starter books out there that can teach you how to fix various issues around the house. (Such books are popular housewarming gifts for first-time homeowners.) There's also the internet. Being handy can lead to significant cost savings. I wouldn't try to become some sort of master at this, though. Just become competent, and be wise enough to recognize that some issues are best left to professionals.
Teal Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 If a guy wants to be the bigshot around here, he has to beat a hobbyist cook and programmer for years who was raised by a mother handling the house renovations and repairs on her own - who's also smart enough to find repair instructions to simple issues on her own. Good luck! I don't care who can perform to what gender role, really.
Els Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Don't need him to be super-handy, but basics are good. Definitely a turn-off if I'm better than him (and I only know the basics). It's something that everyone should learn anyway, like learning to cook anything above instant noodles, or do banking, or fix basic computer problems. Those aren't things that most modern people can do without, not unless they want to depend on others to help them all the time.
Kamille Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Job ad: Equal Partnership-tracked position: Seeking man for romantic relationship Kamille corporation inc. Among other qualities, the candidate has the following skill: Is handy - in bed. Other than that, handyness shall be discussed by both partners of the corporation. Costs for common property repairs may be outsourced. 2
carhill Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Reflectively, it became a dealbreaker when I didn't perform to expectations. The worst non-performances in memory were those where I simply didn't have the time nor inclination but it was known that I was competent. The prevailing sentiment was that I *could* therefore I *should*. This is an enormous downside for someone with a wide-ranging skillset and where the OP can live in otherwise relative peace. Such a dynamic has permeated my interpersonal relationships for nearly my entire life, way back to being a child, markedly so in my marriage. In some ways, I envy him. Don't be embarrassed man, be thankful. Think of all the time you have for other things
Taramere Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I'm not naturally inclined towards practical matters either, but I've had to apply my mind to it in the past - and most of it was doable with a bit of effort. If you can barely even change a lightbulb or a fuse, then you're going to be a sitting duck for tradesmen to rip you off. A friend of mine and her husband are very impractical - and they've been ripped off to an extent that's almost heart stopping. As far as the tradesmen they've dealt with are concerned, two impractical professionals = limitless cash dispenser. If I were living with a man who was weak in practical matters, then I would handle the "dealing with tradesmen" aspect...but I don't think that's ideal. Tradesmen can be a pretty traditional bunch, and when they are it's something that you have to manage and work with. As a woman on my own, I've never had a problem with them...but I can imagine that if I had a husband who was leaving all that stuff to me, it would be a different matter. The more traditional, macho tradesmen are either going to think that the woman's wearing the trousers, which will bug them, or they're going to disrespect you for knowing less than she does. Either way, it could well result in poorer service and a bigger bill than it needed to. You should probably try to learn some of the household stuff. It's not that difficult, if you're willing to apply your mind to it.
FitChick Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Personally, I think I'm quite good at home repairs. There's a good job for you, Ross! Find out what other men are charging and then put up notices locally. It's a bonus if a man can do some of the smaller home repairs. I can do some minor stuff myself. 1
ThaWholigan Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 I'm 50/50. On one hand, I can fix things very easily so I could quite easily do a house up, even though it's pure tedium for me. However, I'm also clumsy and I break things a lot, so that's a downside for me.
Imported Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 If you can barely even change a lightbulb or a fuse, then you're going to be a sitting duck for tradesmen to rip you off. A friend of mine and her husband are very impractical - and they've been ripped off to an extent that's almost heart stopping. As far as the tradesmen they've dealt with are concerned, two impractical professionals = limitless cash dispenser. . This is a very good point. I insist on doing all my own maintenance on everything. especially my car, because I don't trust other mechanics to: A) Be honest B) Charge a fair price C) Do the job right D) Not **** with other **** to make work for themselves I've seen people taken too, for very simple repairs. Paying hundreds of dollars for a simple remove and replace job that can be done in under 30 minutes. Being charged for "repairs" or services that was never even done. Getting stuff fixxed that didn't need to be fixxed. 1
udolipixie Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 A guy not being handy isn't a dealbreaker to me as it has nothing to do with if he's physically attractive or amusing and entertaining to me. It'd only be a dealbreaker if I were pursuing a relationship as to me being handy is a life skill.
mesmerized Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 I'm used to men being handy. So lack of it is a turn off for me.
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