AllLady Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 So, you read that and probably pictured some form of a "reject" (no offense meant to anyone for name calling) but I am a fairly good looking girl, everywhere I go I am complimented on my beauty. But I am an introvert, always have been... Socially kind of awkward. I've always had my best friends, but mostly surround myself with family. I live with my 72 y.o grandpa, aid him in living, the rest of my time, my main dedication is SCHOOL. Plan on applying to nursing programs soon. I had always talked to guys, formed close relationships with them, friendships... Friends w with drunk benefits. Never sex- I was always the focus of pleasure, never reciprocating... I mean, why rt? Lol. Well, anyways.... When I was 20 I actually gave up the "fwdb" thing, and fell in love. We came close to having sex, he was rt there... His boner and my crotch, .I kinda gave him a handjob..didn't finish- I was so nervous, didn't know what I was doing- I was embarased, didn't want him to not like me bc i was bad. Fed him the excuse I didn't want to be drunk. (Eventho I rly wasn't too bad, and REALLLLLLLYYYYY wanted to, just damn nerves!) Anyways, that's one of my biggest regrets.... He got into a car accident and passed away a month later. After that I had some drunk escapades, fooled around with guys, the whole "please me" thing, nvr reciprocating. Now its been prob over a year since I've done more than even kiss a guy. And I'm frustrated bc the older I get the more experienced everyone else gets. And I feel like I'm never going to be comfortable enough to ever let my guard down, to let someone in like that. And I want to. I just don't know how, and my nerves fr my inexperience make it even more nerve wracking.. and I feel like a big huge dweeb.... And I don't talk to anyone about my virginity bc its ekbarassibg, they all know tho.... I jus need some advice, encouragement!! Thanks xoxo Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 You seem pretty bummed out by this. I can tell you from experience that once you get in a relationship and you start doing it you will catch up very fast. It really is not that big of a deal, unless you make it be that big of a deal. Also, technically ... a handjob is a sex act so you are not a virgin anymore. If you are worried that your future bf might notice you are inexperienced ... that will only happen if you tell him or are very nervous. Chances are that by now your hymen is not the 'great barrier' it was 10 yrs ago. PS: If you think your 'case' is bad, i am a guy and was a virgin untill 24. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Never sex- I was always the focus of pleasure, never reciprocating... I mean, why rt? ..... the whole "please me" thing, nvr reciprocating. Uh, why? Are you just a really passive person? Have you actually turned down sex? I'm sure the guys you've been with, have wanted to so sleep with you. Also, technically ... a handjob is a sex act so you are not a virgin anymore. Then I guess I took my own virginity when I was five years old Link to post Share on other sites
Author AllLady Posted May 28, 2012 Author Share Posted May 28, 2012 Thanks for all your VALUABLE advice dude, its amazing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AllLady Posted May 28, 2012 Author Share Posted May 28, 2012 I'm not bummed,him pretty proud. It jus gets sooo much attention when the topic surfaces.... I don't want the attention. I know it won't be a big deal when I "fall in love" again.... I guess that's my bigger concern. I want it to be with someone I LOVE, and cant seem to let a guy that close to me anymore (ever since my bf died) Yes- turned down sex many times.... Many many times.... I guess you could call me acock tease. I had two other boyfriends who came close, we got naked, they tried.... I was never into it... More pressured, very pressured, always very uncomfortable. Except for when I was with my boyfriend who I loved, I want it to be like that..... Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 Whats 'Friends with drunk benefits'? From reading your last post, it was what I suspected why your excapades only ended in a bj for the guy. (I wouldn't brand yourself a virgin) Unlike your male equalent you have your hands on the levers here, and play a big part in controlling the outcome. This frustration could be a non issue so easily, if you want to just go with the flow, but you want to be in love first it seems....correct? Of those many many guys you have turned down, wasn't any of them good enough for a bf? At your age it should be the easy times for finding a single guy with no hangups and forming a fun & adventerous relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 I'm not bummed,him pretty proud. It jus gets sooo much attention when the topic surfaces.... I don't want the attention. I know it won't be a big deal when I "fall in love" again.... I guess that's my bigger concern. I want it to be with someone I LOVE, and cant seem to let a guy that close to me anymore (ever since my bf died) Yes- turned down sex many times.... Many many times.... I guess you could call me acock tease. I had two other boyfriends who came close, we got naked, they tried.... I was never into it... More pressured, very pressured, always very uncomfortable. Except for when I was with my boyfriend who I loved, I want it to be like that..... If your bf was able to talk to you from beyond the dead, what do you think he would tell you right now ? Link to post Share on other sites
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