Big/wide hips

[pink_sugar]

So my dad says my brother an I take after our Mom with wide hips, which he thinks aren't attractive on men or women. When I mention j-lo having a nice shapely butt, my dad says her butt is fat and it looks bad. This is coming from a guy who who thinks you're chubby if you have any curves whatsoever. He'll only date anorexic looking twigs under 5'2".

[xxoo]

So my dad says my brother an I take after our Mom with wide hips, which he thinks aren't attractive on men or women. When I mention j-lo having a nice shapely butt, my dad says her butt is fat and it looks bad. This is coming from a guy who who thinks you're chubby if you have any curves whatsoever. He'll only date anorexic looking twigs under 5'2".

 

You are married, right? Hopefully your husband's opinion of your body matters to you more than your father's.

 

Why would you even have this conversation with your father? Tell him you won't discuss bodies with him. Change the subject. Walk away. Be firm!

[ThaWholigan]

Wide hips are the way forward

[Philosoraptor]

Pff I love hips. It's one of the few physical features that I actually look for.

[pink_sugar]

You are married, right? Hopefully your husband's opinion of your body matters to you more than your father's.

 

Why would you even have this conversation with your father? Tell him you won't discuss bodies with him. Change the subject. Walk away. Be firm!

 

Definitely true. My H loves my figure. I'm just trying to ignore my dad's skewed view of needing to have a perfect body. I don't even remember how the hip conversation came up, but one of our friends definitely said hips are totally very well desired.

[shorty7]

pffft, people come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and packages. It's not a "one size fits all" deal!

 

And OP, your dad's a jerk. Let him be lonely and miserable because of his own selfish narrow-mindedness. You know him best and if you think his mind can't be changed, then you know best how to deal with that (or so I hope).

[jlola]

So my dad says my brother an I take after our Mom with wide hips, which he thinks aren't attractive on men or women. When I mention j-lo having a nice shapely butt, my dad says her butt is fat and it looks bad. This is coming from a guy who who thinks you're chubby if you have any curves whatsoever. He'll only date anorexic looking twigs under 5'2".

 

Your father is an ASS just like mine. I have the opposite problem. Very narrow and thin, but curvy thin with a small waist 26" but I am almot 5'9". My breast happened to be way to big for my body,which came unfortunately from paternal grandmother.

 

My father would tell me how fat I looked because of the breast and how abnormal it looked. I had a huge complex for the longest and wore big t-shirts to hide behind.. Girls would make fun of me and call me "Barbie" or swear they were fake.Guys would look at me and I would think it was because I looked so odd not because I was attractive(which I now know I am So that added to my insecurities. I use to wish I came with big hips and small breast. But I have come to terms with it. Ignore your father! you have a figure many wish they had.

 

I always wonder why a parent would want to make their child feel insecure about their physical shape. I now know they have deep issues they need to deal with..

[Trimmer]

I always wonder why a parent would want to make their child feel insecure about their physical shape. I now know they have deep issues they need to deal with..

Boy, I agree with this. To the OP: this says a lot more about your father than it does about you.

 

Are you able to brush it off and realize this is his issue (not yours) or does it cause you some distress?

[Radu]

First of all, it only matters what your H thinks, not your dad.

 

And your dad besides being an *******, is also very very wrong.

Remember, there used to be a famous tune about liking big butts.

 

There ya go :

[pink_sugar]

Boy, I agree with this. To the OP: this says a lot more about your father than it does about you.

 

Are you able to brush it off and realize this is his issue (not yours) or does it cause you some distress?

 

Yeah after having some laughs over it with my husband or my mom or brother, it's no big deal. I do limit my contact with him for this reason though. He usually doesn't have anything nice to say and my husband cannot stand him. He's definitely not a well liked guy with my brother and I's spouses and all our friends disliking him. It's funny, because he's pushing 50 and sees nothing wrong with liking barely legal foreign girls. I've come to realize he really enjoys the prepubescent looks for a woman. Rather disturbing. This last woman he went out with looked like my 11 year old step-sister who's probably even taller than her.

[pteromom]

Everyone has different taste, and this is a good thing, because it ensures we can all find someone who is attracted to us. There are plenty of guys who go ga-ga over JLo butts.

[TigerCub]

First of all, it only matters what your H thinks, not your dad.

 

And your dad besides being an *******, is also very very wrong.

Remember, there used to be a famous tune about liking big butts.

 

There ya go :

 

Haha - the funny thing is, I was totally singing this song in my head reading this thread - then I got to your post .

[darkmoon]

Sugar!

 

why do you keep in touch with your family?

a mean uncle, a tactless dad - 2 posts in one day!

 

tell them you're busy wiv your marriage and you'll call them nearer thanksgiving, stop the interaction for a while

 

they can't keep doing this pick-on-you thing cuz you are no longer a child but a married woman, you now belong to your husband

 

i know 4 men who like a J-Lo butt where i work

Edited May 29, 2012 by darkmoon

[FitChick]

Everybody's tastes are different. I don't like men with wide, flat butts yet Tina Turner loves that shape on a guy.

[pink_sugar]

Definitely true. I just don't think a father should comment to his daughter that she has wide hips which she must have gotten from her mom like wide hips is something disturbing to all guys. I'm really surprised I didn't develop some type of eating disorder while living under that roof. If you gained an ounce, he'd notice.

[BewitchedandBothered]

Oy....My sister was always that way===judgemental of my figure. I am five feet tall and shaped like an hourglass as I have been told all my life. Most of the men in my life loved it, but my sister? She would tell me I was fat or look like a mutant....and she was always obese!!!! I was thin, but had that hourglass shape to me. Not a damned thing I could to do fix it, so I just accepted it. But there is always a family member or friend who has something cruel to say====it stems from their own insecurities. and if your Mom was sooooooo 'unattractive' in the physique, why on earth did he marry her/procreate with her? He had to have found her desirable in some ways. People can be *******s.

[pink_sugar]

Yeah, I've always been self conscious of my figure and my seemingly wide set hips ever since I was a kid. I'm 5'3" and have an hourglass figure as well. My husband is a pretty skinny guy and he loves me to have curves, although I still eat right and exercise for my own self esteem.

[wheream_i]

Big hips are extremely attractive. Absolutely love them!

[SincereOnlineGuy]

So my dad says my brother an I take after our Mom with wide hips, which he thinks aren't attractive on men or women. When I mention j-lo having a nice shapely butt, my dad says her butt is fat and it looks bad. This is coming from a guy who who thinks you're chubby if you have any curves whatsoever. He'll only date anorexic looking twigs under 5'2".

 

Of greater importance is the subject of why you are looking to your father for physical/sexual validation?

 

His opinion is simply the LAST one to count in that category.

 

Haven't you ever wondered why he might be 'assing judgment on you that way??

 

[Els]

Why does it matter who your DAD would date!??!?!?! What on earth.

[pink_sugar]

My dad is the one who brings up his sex life each time we see him and talks about his girlfriend of the week. He's the one who brings up a 120lb woman being "chubby". I weigh 10 pounds more than this woman, guess that means I'm fat. I mean the insult is rather obvious. I'm not looking for validation from him, but it gets annoying when he acts like I need to lose a few. Of course little girls who grow up with fathers like this are impressionable. A father is a daughter's first male role model and example. Haven't you heard of the fact that women often choose a man like their father and a son chooses someone like his mom and vice versa? Thankfully my H is nothing like my dad though. I'm just tired of hearing my dad talk about weight because it makes me more self consious. I wouldn't care who he dates if he didn't talk about it every time we see him.

Edited May 30, 2012 by pink_sugar

[darkmoon]

now i know he's single i get it! - he is playing the happy batchelor, channelling his inner cassanova, so here he becomes a real expert on women, and is loving acting out the role, sadly, at your expense

[MuscleCarFan]

I am pink_sugar's husband. Her dad is always bringing up about all these petite Asian broads he likes to date. He didn't want to get graphic, but said doing it with a woman who was 120 lbs was "gross." Good Lord, that sounds ridiculous. That man is amazingly shallow and vain. No wonder I hate the guy.

[Trimmer]

My dad is the one who brings up his sex life each time we see him and talks about his girlfriend of the week. He's the one who brings up a 120lb woman being "chubby". I weigh 10 pounds more than this woman, guess that means I'm fat. I mean the insult is rather obvious. I'm not looking for validation from him, but it gets annoying when he acts like I need to lose a few. Of course little girls who grow up with fathers like this are impressionable. A father is a daughter's first male role model and example. Haven't you heard of the fact that women often choose a man like their father and a son chooses someone like his mom and vice versa? Thankfully my H is nothing like my dad though. I'm just tired of hearing my dad talk about weight because it makes me more self consious. I wouldn't care who he dates if he didn't talk about it every time we see him.

 

All I can think is that the fact that he is so blatant and, well, kinda gross about it (with poor social boundaries about when to talk about things and what to keep private, it sounds like) should help you to clearly understand that these things are all HIS issues, and I hope that helps you disregard them more easily.

 

If he were an upstanding, fine example of a nurturing father, who was great in every other way, only he made occasional comments about your hips and weight, then it might be harder for you to integrate that into your otherwise good image of him - it might be more likely to make you self-conscious.

 

But since he is generally boorish, and has very obvious flaws in his attitudes, my hope for you is that this makes it easier to discount his rude and unreasonable comments - they reflect HIS lack of character.

 

You don't need to be self-conscious. When he blurts these things out, that is a reflection of his problems, not any indication of any issue on your end.

 

In short: consider the source.

[Nohbody]

When a woman walks in with an itty bitty waist and a big thing in your face

I get sprung.