Author M30USA Posted May 31, 2012 Author Share Posted May 31, 2012 I didn't report abuse for 3 reasons: 1) I thought her famil cared about me and was on my side regarding the abuse. Their claims against me in court proved otherwise. 2) I knew my wife would pull out lies and distortion to the point that nobody would believe me. 3) I was embarrassed that a woman was abusing me, the "man of the house" as her family deceitfully said. 4) The first time I called the cops they told us we would BOTH be arrested next call. So much for justice and encouraging a safe exit from abuse. There must have been an angel from heaven directing the events which went down that morning because I've heard of even worse abuse to a man where he winds up incarcerated. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 Regarding statistics about violence against men by women--- I wonder if there will ever be accurate figures. From what I've read , and understand, there are lots of cases, which are never officially reported. (Most likely due to the social stigma.............) It's slowly changing, like BNB said---and women are starting to be held accountable for their actions. As they should be.Violence is never acceptable. FS, I emphasize slow. I now work with a group trying to give them a glimpse into abuse and what the consequences can (jail time or death) and what it should be ( proper evaluation and treatment). Women have not been socialized that they are capable and do abuse. The term nagging is one of the ways female abuse is dismissed. I am not talking about someone going on about an issue or a chore they would like done...I mean the name calling, the questioning of manhood or even intelligence. This is degrading and no different than what men who are abusers do to women(and yes these same issues occur in same sex couples. I have a good friend who has been abused by her partner for the last 2 years ) The physical abuse by women has traditionally been dramatized in movies and music as the occassional "slap across the cheek"...it goes so far beyond that. I did for me. I was a matter of trying to regain some type of control in my life in the beginning. Then it was to "get even" with the way he treated me. In the end all the abuse caused me to do is to hate myself even more and to look for a way out. Now I am not saying all women ( I don't think we will ever be sure of the actual numbers for the all the reasons that have already been mentioned) who abuse do so because of some mental illness, many do it because they can. They repeat the patterns of what they have seen. Some are just mean as hell and don't want to do anything other than what they are doing. For those who don't abuse men...they abuse their children. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
robaday Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 From my experience psychological abuse is more horrific. Consistent disrespect of boundaries (i.e. things that do not involve that woman like sport, or volunteering). Jealousy of people in your life, not just female that you value and respect. Got to the stage where I couldnt mention a female friends name without some kind of derogatory comment, I began to hide things from her. What hurt the most was that Im sensitive, and she was hyper sensitive. She cried all the time, and her range of emotions was extroardinary. BUT if I so much as said shed hurt me, id be a wuss etc. Over the years I was not caring enough, narcissistic, deadend, wuss, tight, etc etc etc....... Overall it was her complete lack of self awareness was what killed me. I could have handled the rest, but it was the lack of knowledge on how her actions affected me that really broke my heart. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 Often quite the opposite. True...so true. Link to post Share on other sites
Crusoe Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 True...so true. And the men that understand that willl quite often do all they can to protect their woman from any threat she sees. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 And the men that understand that willl quite often do all they can to protect their woman from any threat she sees. I agree with this too. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 FS, I emphasize slow. I now work with a group trying to give them a glimpse into abuse and what the consequences can (jail time or death) and what it should be ( proper evaluation and treatment). Women have not been socialized that they are capable and do abuse. The term nagging is one of the ways female abuse is dismissed. I am not talking about someone going on about an issue or a chore they would like done...I mean the name calling, the questioning of manhood or even intelligence. This is degrading and no different than what men who are abusers do to women(and yes these same issues occur in same sex couples. I have a good friend who has been abused by her partner for the last 2 years ) The physical abuse by women has traditionally been dramatized in movies and music as the occassional "slap across the cheek"...it goes so far beyond that. It did for me. It was a matter of trying to regain some type of control in my life in the beginning. Then it was to "get even" with the way he treated me. In the end all the abuse caused me to do is to hate myself even more and to look for a way out. Now I am not saying all women ( I don't think we will ever be sure of the actual numbers for the all the reasons that have already been mentioned) who abuse do so because of some mental illness, many do it because they can. They repeat the patterns of what they have seen. Some are just mean as hell and don't want to do anything other than what they are doing. For those who don't abuse men...they abuse their children. Sorry my "t" is sticking on my laptop. Link to post Share on other sites
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