Question...mostly for men. Is a man's best friend off limits after a b/u?

[sweetheart5381]

Because no one else is knocking down her door to date her, and after all, she isn't looking for a relationship, just to see what it turns into....or just sex.

 

 

I don't need a man to knock down my door, I choose the door that is worth entering

 

If you really must know, I am dating several men who appreciate the fact that I am open, honest and genuine. That does not mean sex. It means friendship... and we will perhaps go from there if it feels right.

 

My choice to not enter into a commited relationship is mine and mine alone. It is not a lack of moral character, rather self-respect. I will never, ever "settle". It is unfair to both to become commited before the time is right.

 

To have one's integrity questioned yet again is a form of aggression and bullying.

[FryFish]

To have one's integrity questioned yet again is a form of aggression and bullying.

No it isnt... Quit being such a drama queen....

 

Oh.. I get it... That is why you want to bang your ex's mate... you are a drama queen.

 

 

So, girls mature faster than boys during puberty but seem to stop maturing shortly thereafter.

[wilsonx]

No it isnt... Quit being such a drama queen....

Oh.. I get it... That is why you want to bang your ex's mate... you are a drama queen.

 

 

DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING

 

FINALLY Someone else sees it

 

Now read post 14 again and put all the pieces together

Edited June 1, 2012 by wilsonx

[sweetheart5381]

No it isnt... Quit being such a drama queen....

 

Oh.. I get it... That is why you want to bang your ex's mate... you are a drama queen.

 

 

So, girls mature faster than boys during puberty but seem to stop maturing shortly thereafter.

 

Hmmm, and yet another insult

 

Surprise!

 

Keep em coming boys, then we all know what you are made of and how worthwhile your posts are.

 

Your username says it all btw

 

Just sayin'.

[wilsonx]

You are a drama queen, I called you out on it at the beginning of this thread.

 

I just didnt say it in those words, I wanted someone else to say them so I wasnt doing all the work

[FryFish]

Your username says it all btw

Its a futurama reference... and your username is a misnomer... But I would get another infraction if I told you what you SHOULD have made it...

 

Hmmm, and yet another insult

And being called what you are is NOT an insult... Im an *******... calling me on it is NOT insulting me.

[sweetheart5381]

You are a drama queen, I called you out on it at the beginning of this thread.

 

I just didnt say it in those words, I wanted someone else to say them so I wasnt doing all the work

 

LOL.. haha, how did I know you were pointing people to your own post? Just a lil ego there my friend... might want to tone it down a bit.

 

Hmmm, yep, drama queen, the common term to insult women because they express emotion. Funny thing is you have posted on this thread far more than me, drawing attention to yourself by being derogatory and insulting to me. You even direct people to read your posts.

 

Who is the real drama queen here?

 

Again, just sayin

[FryFish]

Who is the real drama queen here?

You...

Just saying.

 

and you perceive everybody who doesnt openly agree with you as insulting or "attacking" you...

 

Your age has been mentioned only because at your age, you should have grown up a little bit more than you have...

[wilsonx]

Definition of drama" A situation or succession of events in real life having the dramatic progression or emotional effect"

 

-Ex breaks up with you leaves you with a broken heart

-You agree to be friends with ex but he ignores you doesnt care about you anymore

-You get assaulted or whatever you call it today and tell ex, he doesnt really care

-Thoughts cross your mind to sleep with ex's best friend

 

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

[BewitchedandBothered]

Didn't have time to read all of the replies, but as a woman, I would advise against it. There is no reason to hang with anyone that has anything to do with the ex. Steer clear of that circle as it is over. It could become an awkward situation for you--especially if this doesn't work out.

 

To the comment 'bro's before hoes'---only a hoe-less bro would say that. HATE that comment.

 

But I digress......clear your life of these people; you have no allegiance to them; they are just passing through.

[sweetheart5381]

Its a futurama reference... and your username is a misnomer... But I would get another infraction if I told you what you SHOULD have made it...

 

And being called what you are is NOT an insult... Im an *******... calling me on it is NOT insulting me.

 

Have some self-control man... chill... this is a forum to voice opinion. I did not call you any names, I never would. We are all entitled to an opinion. Even those such as yourself.

 

No need the threaten that you could/SHOULD have called me something but are afraid to.

 

That's your problem

[wilsonx]

 

To the comment 'bro's before hoes'---only a hoe-less bro would say that. HATE that comment.

.

 

Correct, I dont hang out nor associate myself with hoe's. Only quality people.

 

People that would sleep with or go after a best friend of mine for the purpose of creating drama or seeking attention is a HOE! Hence why we call them hoes and the term bros before hoes comes to life

 

If one chooses to have higher self respect to move on with one life and stop seeking attention, then they are not a hoe and will be respected as they show themselves to be

Edited June 1, 2012 by wilsonx

[FryFish]

Have some self-control man... chill... this is a forum to voice opinion.

Which is all I have done...

 

I did not call you any names, I never would.

You insinuated that "fryfish" is somehow insulting. Luckily you can no longer go back and change your post to pretend that you didnt...

 

We are all entitled to an opinion. Even those such as yourself.

At this point you can no longer pretend you have taken the high road... lol... Welcome to trollville cunt.

 

No need the threaten that you could/SHOULD have called me something but are afraid to.

Want me to explain why you GOT DUMPED BY YOUR EX and why YOU ARE STILL SINGLE in your late thirties? You obviously dont have a handle on self reflection.

 

That's your problem

[BewitchedandBothered]

Correct, I dont hang out nor associate myself with hoe's. Only quality people.

 

People that would sleep with or go after a best friend of mine for the purpose of creating drama or seeking attention is a HOE! Hence why we call them hoes and the term bros before hoes comes to life

 

If one chooses to have higher self respect to move on with one life and stop seeking attention, then they are not a hoe and will be respected as they show themselves to be

I just don't see how staying in the ex's circle benefits anyone. Just reading the original post made me shudder a little bit. First, it would show the ex "look at me!!!" kind of thing. Secondly, the ex's friend could take advantage---this friend could use her and drop her--after all, the ex has painted a picture of the scenario. Awkward. Again...I would stay far away from ex and anyone associated. That chapter should be closed.

[sweetheart5381]

Definition of drama" A situation or succession of events in real life having the dramatic progression or emotional effect"

 

-Ex breaks up with you leaves you with a broken heart

-You agree to be friends with ex but he ignores you doesnt care about you anymore

-You get assaulted or whatever you call it today and tell ex, he doesnt really care

-Thoughts cross your mind to sleep with ex's best friend

 

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

 

Ya, I hear ya, but wrong.

 

His friend and I have been friends for a long time.

 

I avoided his friend out of respect for my ex. His friend wanted me to hang out with the gang but I gave my ex his space cuz he needed it. I did not hang out with the crowd cuz it was my ex's crowd first and I wanted him to have a space that he could spend time with his friends without me.

 

I know honour and space.

 

Ex does not ignore me, we talk daily about our lives, day to day stuff, personal stuff.

 

Does that help at all to understand the situation?

 

People are so quick to judge a situation and base their theories on stereotypes, etc.

[wilsonx]

This question should have never been asked.

 

Now that it is asked its answered and this thread should die.

[BewitchedandBothered]

Ya, I hear ya, but wrong.

 

His friend and I have been friends for a long time.

 

I avoided his friend out of respect for my ex. His friend wanted me to hang out with the gang but I gave my ex his space cuz he needed it. I did not hang out with the crowd cuz it was my ex's crowd first and I wanted him to have a space that he could spend time with his friends without me.

 

I know honour and space.

 

Ex does not ignore me, we talk daily about our lives, day to day stuff, personal stuff.

 

Does that help at all to understand the situation?

 

People are so quick to judge a situation and base their theories on stereotypes, etc.

Some ex 'friends' are like that; they want to sample the cuisine that their friend had. Why is he so eager to have you hang out=--knowing his friend dumped you. And why would you talk to your dumper like nothing happened? This doesn't sound like healing; it sounds like holding on in every way. Just whatever you do, put on your yellow 'advance with caution' lights.

[Comfortably Numb]

i live in Tennessee, no one uses yellow caution lights. In fact, ill be lucky if I even get any lights. Everyone apparently is Nascar certified. I just got drafted by a truck this morning. Really showed me how to pull ahead.

[sweetheart5381]

Correct, I dont hang out nor associate myself with hoe's. Only quality people.

 

People that would sleep with or go after a best friend of mine for the purpose of creating drama or seeking attention is a HOE! Hence why we call them hoes and the term bros before hoes comes to life

 

If one chooses to have higher self respect to move on with one life and stop seeking attention, then they are not a hoe and will be respected as they show themselves to be[/QU

 

Has anyone not noticed that I did not EVER say I would sleep with the friend?

 

I posed a question, simply a question.

 

Again, these stereotypes about "bros" and "hoes" are brought out.

 

I am simply a person, posing a question. I did not say "yay" or "nay" but I am condemned for asking a question. Silly really.

 

Dont call me a "Ho" I dont deserve it.

 

Don't insinuate that I am "loose", because I found a man attractive and connected with that I knew well before my ex and they happen to be friends.

[sweetheart5381]

Some ex 'friends' are like that; they want to sample the cuisine that their friend had. Why is he so eager to have you hang out=--knowing his friend dumped you. And why would you talk to your dumper like nothing happened? This doesn't sound like healing; it sounds like holding on in every way. Just whatever you do, put on your yellow 'advance with caution' lights.

 

I will talk to my "dumper" because we both understand what happened. We have both resolved it and we are ok now. People that love each other also hurt each other too - and eventually come to realize that although we love one another, the relationship we had was not working.

 

This friend has always wanted me to hang out but I wouldn't because I was doing my best to respect my ex's privacy.

 

I dont think he wants to sample the cuisine, just looking to be friends and get closer.

[carhill]

If the perspective predominantly shared in this thread prevails, I presume it dies with the spouse, as I have a number of anecdotes amongst friends and acquaintances of surviving spouses of previously long couple friendships getting together. One friend indeed married his best friend's widow last year. Myself, with my specific exW and specific best friend, I'd probably slap him upside the head with 'what the heck are you thinking?' but otherwise could care less. When I was done, I was done. Open season.

[sweetheart5381]

Some ex 'friends' are like that; they want to sample the cuisine that their friend had. Why is he so eager to have you hang out=--knowing his friend dumped you. And why would you talk to your dumper like nothing happened? This doesn't sound like healing; it sounds like holding on in every way. Just whatever you do, put on your yellow 'advance with caution' lights.

 

The ex and I can talk because we forgive each other for any harm done. We are good with the way things are. Can never tell the future and the past is behind us.

 

Also remember, these gents talk and are mature. If his friend wants to hang out with me, then clearly I am not a "Ho". The friend clearly respects me, as does my ex.

 

It goes both ways.

 

If my ex thought badly of me, then I would assume according to "bro code" that his best friend would not want to associate with me, thinking lowly of me. My ex thinks highly of me. I think highly of him. It's rare but it happens.

[FryFish]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/328966-my-friend-keeps-inviting-my-ex-out

 

Read that sweatheart...

[sweetheart5381]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/328966-my-friend-keeps-inviting-my-ex-out

 

Read that sweatheart...

 

I did.

 

That situation is simply not the same at all, no 2 situations ever are.

 

This thread is not solely for the purpose of having the question answered for me. I will figure that one out on my own in time.

 

This question was asked because I look for insight as to why the "rules" are what they are. Every situation and person is different. Multiply differing attitudes with differing situations and you come to realize there are no rules.

 

I appreciate your input.

[Gulf-Delta]

Bullying

 

I did not ever say that I would screw him... I simply posed a question and yet you question my honour and honesty for even comtemplating it.

 

I will decide on my own my course of action, not by poster's opinions. I simply seek a point of view... and yet you insult me and imply that I am lying and dishonest - "Everyone can see through your bull****".

 

Think about it.

 

I didn't bully, nor insult you.

 

Everyone is telling you something is wrong, so you keep moving the goalposts and circumstances in hopes one of will say "OOO, well if that's the case, go ahead!"