Please I need all the advice in the world...

[Tiger-Lily]

 

Hey you all.

 

I need support for a decision I know is the right one. I made this said decision back in October 2002 and I am now making it once again. I used to live with my Mom who died in 2001. Shortly after she passed away a friend of the family came on to me - keeping in mind that I like alone, and miss my Mom desperately.

 

I found the situation very unsettling since this said person is Married and has two kids. I would not deny that, yes I fancied that person, but I guess I needed the comfort and attention. Well, as you all know, being the outside person is the worse thing a person can ever do.

 

He made the usual promises and broke them and like an idiot I forgave him and took him back. I was so srewed up at a point that I used to miss work being depressed about this guy.

 

I got to the point, I wrote him a three (3) page letter telling him off, and that was in October 2002. I had gotten to the point that I need to have more self respect and self worth. December of that year he started waving me when ever we saw each other driving pass each other. I receprocated the gesture and after all this time in June 2004, we actually was able to exchange numbers once again.

 

Our first conversation was about how he felt horrible about the way he treated me and that there is nothing he can do to ever make up for his wrong doing. After a couple more conversations, he stated saying things like, "I will phone you later", and never did. He started doing the things he used to do before, so I told him about it. It even got to the point that on Friday 25th June 2004, I actually called him up on the phone to tell him to go to HELL once and for all.

 

He was like "let us meet up later and totally trash things out". We did and he said that he regreted the way things turned out and he hoped that I could forgive him and stuff. To make a long story short. He ended up kissing me and before we departed I told him I was doing lunch for a girl friend on Sunday at 1:00p.m. and he was invited to come over. He accepted. And this is why I am writing to say that he never showed up nor did he phone me.

 

I am at the point where I really want to tell him to PISS OFF and need advice to know if I should phone him and tell him or should I just BLANK AND IGNORE him when we drive pass each other.

 

PLEASE HELP ME AS TO HOW TO TELL HIM OFF, I NEED TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST.

 

Thank you so very much...

[Olivia_19742004]

First of all you need to take responsibility for your own actions as well. You keep perpetuating the same behavior with him and you are as much to blame for it as he is. You have allowed him to continuously mistreat you and although his actions have been hurtful and unfair you continued to open yourself to further disrespect. I'm not saying that he is without blame but there is a difference between being a victim and playing a victim.

 

Close the door and keep it shut. Don't wave at him. Don't smile. Don't allow him to make one more phone call and arrange another time when you two can meet and he can plead his case of regret and remorse. Don't allow him to control your emotions.

 

You've already met and you've already told him how he made you feel. You've already heard his apologies. There is nothing more to get off your chest. There is nothing more for him to hear and there is nothing more for you to say.

 

Close the door. Seriously. Love yourself and close it.

[peacefuldreamer]

Hey. I am in a similar situation. Or shall I say I was until tonight. I always took his word and always was let down. You dont need it you need to make the decision to get him out of your life for good. If it makes you feel better then tell him he messed things up and you cant take it anymore. I had to have someone tell me that earlier to finally get it far enough through my thick skull to actually do it. I thought it would be the hardest thing in the world to me but I feel A LOT better. Im sure you will too when you ignore him and dont let him get to you anymore.