How does the dating and sex thing actually work?

[somedude81]

Right now I just feel depressed and completely hopeless.

 

Today was the first day of summer classes and there was a lot of girls around campus that I thought were attractive.

 

Then I wonder what it would be like to date or sleep with some of them, then I get very depressed because I have no idea how to make it happen. I can just imagine every method I try failing. And after what happened with the last girl, it just seems really stupid to even like somebody. So I don't know what to do anymore.

[pteromom]

That's pretty interesting. It's also good to know that the little things do matter. Though I question the amount of points given simply because I can meet all of those but it hasn't actually helped me.

 

That's MY list (or an example from it). Every woman has her own list. You never know what weird attribute you possess could be on a woman's list. Heck, if you had a wolf tattoo, there would be some woman out there with a thing for wolves who would go nuts over it. You never know how attractive you are to someone else.

 

But maybe the girls I'm going after are just to young to give a damn about anything more than a pretty boy.

 

Could be true. Younger girls are more likely to put more emphasis on looks. Still though, I was a very pretty 20-something, and my first few boyfriends were nothing to look at. My first bf was a great kisser. My 2nd made me laugh and was SOOO smart he used to amaze me. My 3rd was good at making me feel special.

 

If you like younger girls, you are better off staying away from bars/clubs where shallowness runs rampant, and instead paying attention to girls you encounter in your regular life... just talk to girls you find attractive and see what happens.

 

So when does that actually start happening?

 

Different for everyone, but I'd say average 28-30.

 

First of all, I don't know if I want just sex. Sure it would be nice to get laid for once. But I really have no interest in doing it with a stranger.

 

Understandable. Casual sex isn't for everyone.

 

My main issue with me having preferences, is that I figure that the number of women who may like me is so retardedly small, that if I have any preferences, I might risk losing somebody that may have been interested. But I don't know if that's better than nothing.

 

What's the point of being with someone if you aren't attracted to them or don't like them? You wouldn't be missing out on much. I guess it depends on what your preferences are, whether those preferences are permanent parts of who a person is, and how those preferences would impact the number of potential mates.

 

From what I've learned, chasing in dating is an absolute waste of my time and I'm not doing it again.

 

You are right. But there's a difference between chasing and giving a woman a chance to warm up to you. If she's said she isn't interested, then sure, don't chase her. But if you think she isn't interested, that doesn't necessarily mean she isn't. People are all different, and have different levels of confidence, communication skill, and impulsiveness.

[pteromom]

Today was the first day of summer classes and there was a lot of girls around campus that I thought were attractive.

 

Then I wonder what it would be like to date or sleep with some of them, then I get very depressed because I have no idea how to make it happen.

 

You are going from 0 to 100 with none of the steps in-between.

 

Instead of seeing a girl and imagining dating her, start with just TALKING TO HER.

 

Don't do it with the goal of dating her (because honestly you don't know that you want to date her until you know her personality anyway). Just do it with the goal of getting to know more people.

[zengirl]

How am I making things harder?

 

Frankly, I always try to make things as easiest and do as little as work as possible. I always try to be efficient.

 

I wasn't the one who said you were making things harder, but THAT is how you're making things harder, IMO. Teenagers often do that with EVERYTHING btw, so I see it day in and day out.

 

I've never heard of a woman taking any length of time to make up her mind.

 

Really? You've never heard of women changing their minds? That's what taking awhile to make up your mind actually looks like -- vacillation, change, etc. Women certainly change their minds; I've even heard it's our prerogative.

 

What's with the point in playing tag at all. If a girl liked me, why should she run, even it was for 'fun?'

 

It's a metaphor. A woman often requires pursuit (and so does a man but in a VERY different way, generally) but that isn't the same as running away, was my point.

 

From what I've learned, chasing in dating is an absolute waste of my time and I'm not doing it again.

 

Don't confuse pining with chasing. Chasing is active and decisive; pining is NOT either of those things.

 

I keep hearing over and over how a guy fell for a girl. 9 times out of 10 it's the guy falling for his female friend. It really does just seem to be a guy thing.

 

Well, I know loads of girls who developed crushes on men around them who didn't ask them out. Most women don't cultivate "friendships" with men and attempt to turn those into Rs, no, but that's because there's no reason or cultural influences for women to fall into the fallacy that you can catch love with friendship. That doesn't mean they don't fall for people who are AROUND all the time -- you see that plenty with workplace romances, etc, but you can't orchestrate it. No one can.

 

That may be true and all. But I just don't see girls with bad looking guys, unless the girl is really bad looking herself.

 

Well, I'd say I see them far more often than I see a good looking guy with a bad looking girl. At any rate, most people are not bad looking or good looking but just average, and I see average people coupled up with both of the other types all over.

 

And how do you get somebody to find you to be a suitable romantic partner?

 

You can't "get" a single person to do it -- you can only make yourself a more suitable romantic partner in general and then look consistently for synergy.

 

I'm almost at the point where I'm tired of meeting new women. How can I get excited about meeting a new girl that I think I could like, when she isn't going to like me back?

 

You're thinking of it too transactional again.

 

BTW, what is social capital and why is it important?

 

Social capital is the accumulation from social activities -- it can be friendships or associations or skills or mindsets or expectations. People who have success with any aspect of their social life build social capital. Some of it is tangible, like a circle of friends to go out to bars with, and some of it is intangible, like the feeling of successfully getting a number and the memory of it.

 

I think luck is a huge part of attraction. Yes there are things that can be done to improve ones attractiveness, but I don't know how important they actually are or what to even focus on. I really don't want to spend a bunch of time and energy on doing/being something and have it mean nothing at all to women.

 

Very transactional again. Transactional thinking is fairly immature and gets you basically nowhere. Continue putting in no effort unless there is a guarantee of success and you'll stay where you are. Guaranteed.

 

But my fear is that all I'm going to get are no's. I don't know how to make a women even think maybe.

 

You've been given loads of suggestions, but I'd say: Improve your social skills and social capital. The best way to do that is (you're not going to want to hear this): socializing, making friends, asking girls out, and building up EVERY type of social relationship, romantic or non.

 

Maybe. Either way, I'd have to have phenomenal social skills to make up for my looks.

 

I really don't think so. I know men who look worse than you who do better.

[pteromom]

I really don't think so. I know men who look worse than you who do better.

 

I've never seen a pic of OP. Did he post one? I am very curious!

[Cracker Jack]

He's posted quite a few. I personally don't see anything wrong with his looks.

 

I also think SD can get into an unhealthy habit of constantly answering questions with additional questions until the conversation eventually goes into no man's land. You just need to start approaching women and talking to them without expectations. As long as you continue to focus on getting a girlfriend (which is understandably tough not to do), I believe it'll get even harder for you.

 

What are you prepared to do differently now? We know you're no longer going to chase women who clearly show they're not into you, which is good, but are you willing to take additional steps to get to where you want to get to?

Edited May 31, 2012 by Cracker Jack

[zengirl]

I've never seen a pic of OP. Did he post one? I am very curious!

 

Ages ago he did, and I have a good memory.

[Els]

The OP looks like any normal guy I know who has been in LTRs.

[Eddie Edirol]

 

That's what I've been doing.

 

I know that there are thousands of ways to fail.

 

Whenever I fu*k up with a woman, I learn another lesson of what not to do.

 

The problem with this method is that it's possible to fail forever and never figure out what actually works.

 

Not true. if you dont know where you went wrong, then you ahvent really done the research. Especially since your OP read that you are still clueless. Ive never even read any of the methods that you actually tried, any dating psychologies that youve learned, or how you failed in picking up women. If you went more into what youve actually done and how you think you failed, then you can be helped.

[Eddie Edirol]

I think this advice is very good if the goal is to be able to date a large number of women.

 

But if it's about finding ONE woman, the RIGHT woman, you have to be able to set aside worries about being a "nice guy" or looking needy and desperate, and just be yourself, honestly and fully. If you are putting on an act or playing games, the person you are dating isn't getting to know the real you. That's not gonna lead to a successful relationship.

 

You couldnt be more wrong. I dont know where you get that nonsense from, because the nice guy is needy and desperate, and NO ONE is attracted to that. My advise isnt meant for the guy that wants to date a large number of women, the goal is to find one and know how to keep her. If his real self is a needy desperate guy, even if he lands the woman he wants, he will lose her because he wont know when he is turning her off. No one is telling him to put on an act. If he is needy, he has to learn why he change the way he thinks about women, thats all.

[FryFish]

I think this advice is very good if the goal is to be able to date a large number of women.

 

But if it's about finding ONE woman, the RIGHT woman, you have to be able to set aside worries about being a "nice guy" or looking needy and desperate, and just be yourself, honestly and fully. If you are putting on an act or playing games, the person you are dating isn't getting to know the real you. That's not gonna lead to a successful relationship.

You have to go through a LOT of people before you find the Right person for you... and you just have to sorta hope you didnt skip a good match...

[JuneJulySeptember]

I really don't get it at all.

 

After all these years of experience and hearing / reading about others, I've only learned what doesn't work.

 

I've learned that chasing a girl who has no interest in you is doomed to failure.

 

That it's basically impossible to actually make somebody like you. Either they do or they don't.

 

Odds are a woman isn't going to fall for a man like which men commonly do. So hoping she'll come around eventually is foolish.

 

If a woman isn't physically attracted to you, nothing will ever happen.

 

So with those out of the way, how are things supposed to work?

 

From what I gather, two people have to meet and both have to be attracted to each other. Though that's easier said then done since men are more easily 'impressed' then women are. I've also heard that women know in less then a minute if the guy has any possibility for dating/sex, though it may take much longer to get the 'no' out of her, which is just wasted time and energy from the guy. So it basically comes down to luck if the woman considers the guy attractive. And even then more things need to happen.

 

It almost feels like you're throwing dice if the woman is attracted to you or not. If you're a good looking guy or really know how to play the game, the two dice only need to add up to five. And for somebody like me, I need them to hit at least 10. Which hasn't happened yet and I'm turning 31 in three months

 

So is that it? The only way dating works is to ask out lots and lots of girls till one decides you're good enough to F ? Which basically means that my own preferences are nothing more than a hindrance.

 

Yeah, I'm sure if I wanted to, or actually didn't care at all, I could end up with a woman I have zero attraction to, have zero things in common with and can barely stand her personality; but because she liked me, it was the only that mattered.

 

Please tell me there is something better.

 

I know everybidys tellin you to improve this and that, but youre 30 years old. Your social skills are prolly OK.

 

Maybe youre shooting too high maybe.

[SJC2008]

Right now I just feel depressed and completely hopeless.

 

Today was the first day of summer classes and there was a lot of girls around campus that I thought were attractive.

 

Then I wonder what it would be like to date or sleep with some of them, then I get very depressed because I have no idea how to make it happen. I can just imagine every method I try failing. And after what happened with the last girl, it just seems really stupid to even like somebody. So I don't know what to do anymore.

 

Well if you look 30 or close to it don't bank on meeting women at school as most 19-22 year olds aren't going for a 30 year old. I'm in the same boat as you. I'm 30, go to school and work so I don't get out much and really have nowhere to meet women. Sometimes I ask women out at my job and when I say sometimes I mean I've done it 6 times in 2 years. I've tried old and have gotten a few dates. I wouldn't mind meeting a girl at school but the age gap bothers me. 23 Is my rock bottom and I'm a little weary about that. Do you have other opportunities to meet women other than shcool??

[Teknoe]

He needs to keep trying, and more frequently. Instead of trying a few times and saying it's not gonna work.

 

 

Failure is not an event, but rather a JUDGMENT about an event. Failure is not something that happens to us or a label we attach to things. It is a way we think about outcomes.

 

Before Jonas Salk developed a vaccine for polio that finally worked, he tried 200 unsuccessful ones. Somebody asked him, "How did it feel to fail 200 times?"

 

"I never failed 200 times in my life," Salk replied. "I was taught not to use the word 'failure.' I just discovered 200 ways how not to vaccinate for polio."

 

Somebody once asked Winston Churchill what most prepared him to risk political suicide by speaking out against Hitler during the years of appeasement in the mid-1930s, then to lead Great Britain against Nazi Germany. Churchill said it was the time he had to repeat a grade in elementary school.

 

"You mean you failed a year in grade school?" he was asked.

 

"I never failed anything in my life. I was given a second opportunity to get it right."

 

The greatest failure isn't the person who tries and "doesn't succeed." The greatest failure is the person who never steps out of his boat (AKA comfort zone).

 

Something to chew on, SD.

[zengirl]

Well if you look 30 or close to it don't bank on meeting women at school as most 19-22 year olds aren't going for a 30 year old.

 

Not only is this fairly true, but THOSE that are interested in 30 year olds, probably aren't interested in 30 year olds at the same "level" as them --- the whole point of going older, for young women, is typically to date someone who's further along in life.

[Emilia]

Your social skills are prolly OK.

 

 

No they are not, this is the issue. He doesn't know how to connect witn anyone

[Imajerk17]

Right now I just feel depressed and completely hopeless.

 

Today was the first day of summer classes and there was a lot of girls around campus that I thought were attractive.

 

Then I wonder what it would be like to date or sleep with some of them, then I get very depressed because I have no idea how to make it happen. I can just imagine every method I try failing. And after what happened with the last girl, it just seems really stupid to even like somebody. So I don't know what to do anymore.

 

The big difference between you and me is that for a lot of those girls, I would have gone up and talked to them. A good 80% wouldn't be interested, but 20% would, and I would have had plans to meet up again with them.

[lino]

you're making it way harder than it is, but then again you're used to that....

 

i can tell in a glance whether i want to have sex with a girl or not. men are no different in that regard.

 

I completely agree.

 

There's no surefire way for a dating strategy to work ALL the time. It's like Football. Barcelona are the best offensive team in the world - and got beaten by Chelsea . Not everything will work.

 

Brilliant analogy!

 

And just like in the world of soccer - in the world of romance, you can have absolutely everything right on paper only to be discarded for a much richer man (Abramovich)

 

 

I'll be perfectly honest here. For a lot of people dating is kind of second nature. Like riding a bike or speaking English, things people do everyday pretty easily, but if you have learn at an older age it gets harder and harder.

 

Most people learn dating and sex gradually and piecemeal (graduating from group dates at the mall to one on one movie dates to sleeping over, etc.), mostly when they're young and impulsive and don't have the time nor the inclination to sit and think about it reflectively like you're doing here.

 

You're almost 31. If you truly want to have success dating it will be hard. Like trying to learn Punjabi hard, maybe worse. I'm not going to sugar coat it. You've got to compress about 15-16 years worth of life experience into a very short period of time, and you've got to turn off your brain and stop thinking like you're doing here and just react. I know you're not completely inexperienced, but you're close enough.

 

 

Yep, I agree with this too.

 

 

Do you have a full-time job yet somedude81?

 

You do realize that for women, a man with little to no disposable income is virtually the same thing as a man with AIDS.

[Mme. Chaucer]

How the dating and sex thing actually works (often):

 

1) A person feels interested in another person and asks to spend some social time together.

 

2) If accepted, proceed to the "date." If rejected, repeat step 1.

 

3a) Get to know each other to learn if common attraction and interest warrant further time spent together.

3b) Make a bold sexual move to learn if the other person is DTF NOW.

 

4) If results of 3a or 3b are positive, proceed accordingly. If negative, repeat step 1.

[somedude81]

That part isn't true.

 

I have a friend who is about OPs age, older actually, who never had a girlfriend before. Once he got one, he can talk about women and relationships all day just like the next guy. All it takes is the first one to welcome you into society.

That's exactly how I feel.

 

I just need to get my foot in the door, then I'll be a real boy.

If you like younger girls, you are better off staying away from bars/clubs where shallowness runs rampant, and instead paying attention to girls you encounter in your regular life... just talk to girls you find attractive and see what happens.

That's exactly what I've been doing, and nothing every happens. I've only gone for normal girls, and I tend to avoid the party/sorority type. But none of these girls have never liked me back.

You are right. But there's a difference between chasing and giving a woman a chance to warm up to you. If she's said she isn't interested, then sure, don't chase her. But if you think she isn't interested, that doesn't necessarily mean she isn't. People are all different, and have different levels of confidence, communication skill, and impulsiveness.

Eh, I don't know how fruitful it is to chase somebody who I think isn't interested. The whole giving them a chance to warm up to me has never worked. And the more time that goes by, the stronger my feelings for her become. So while I'm waiting for her to break room temperature, I'm already boiling.

You are going from 0 to 100 with none of the steps in-between.

 

Instead of seeing a girl and imagining dating her, start with just TALKING TO HER.

 

Don't do it with the goal of dating her (because honestly you don't know that you want to date her until you know her personality anyway). Just do it with the goal of getting to know more people.

I can already talk to girls and make friends. I can get girls I like to hang out with me, go on fake dates and stuff like that. I've been on this stage for years.

 

But I can't get a girl to like me and the friendship always ends because I want more.

 

I'm still really hurting from the last time this happened, and I haven't even seen the girl since November.

Very transactional again. Transactional thinking is fairly immature and gets you basically nowhere.

I think it's been painfully obvious for years now that I am fairly immature in many areas. You don't need to keep pointing it out.

Social capital is the accumulation from social activities -- it can be friendships or associations or skills or mindsets or expectations. People who have success with any aspect of their social life build social capital. Some of it is tangible, like a circle of friends to go out to bars with, and some of it is intangible, like the feeling of successfully getting a number and the memory of it.

That seems very broad.

 

I'm trying to think of some examples where a woman can tell I have social capital.

Not true. if you dont know where you went wrong, then you ahvent really done the research. Especially since your OP read that you are still clueless. Ive never even read any of the methods that you actually tried, any dating psychologies that youve learned, or how you failed in picking up women. If you went more into what youve actually done and how you think you failed, then you can be helped.

As I said before, it's not really that I don't know what I'm doing wrong. It's just that I don't know what to do right.

 

Frankly, I feel that everything I do is wrong and I'm basically scared into inaction.

Well if you look 30 or close to it don't bank on meeting women at school as most 19-22 year olds aren't going for a 30 year old. I'm in the same boat as you. I'm 30, go to school and work so I don't get out much and really have nowhere to meet women. Sometimes I ask women out at my job and when I say sometimes I mean I've done it 6 times in 2 years. I've tried old and have gotten a few dates. I wouldn't mind meeting a girl at school but the age gap bothers me. 23 Is my rock bottom and I'm a little weary about that. Do you have other opportunities to meet women other than shcool??

I have the benefit of looking much younger than I am. Nobody ever guesses my age correctly. So as long as I keep my age to myself, it's not a hindrance.

 

And no I don't have any other ways to meet women outside of school. My college is basically a gold mine. But once I'm out, I don't know I can meet women at all. OLD is not going to work for me at all. It's bad enough for average men, and with me being short, it's a total waste of my time.

The big difference between you and me is that for a lot of those girls, I would have gone up and talked to them. A good 80% wouldn't be interested, but 20% would, and I would have had plans to meet up again with them.

20% is actually decently high. Which actually sounds too high considering that it's just strangers.

 

What do you do to get random women to go out with you?

How the dating and sex thing actually works (often):

 

1) A person feels interested in another person and asks to spend some social time together.

 

2) If accepted, proceed to the "date." If rejected, repeat step 1.

 

3a) Get to know each other to learn if common attraction and interest warrant further time spent together.

3b) Make a bold sexual move to learn if the other person is DTF NOW.

 

4) If results of 3a or 3b are positive, proceed accordingly. If negative, repeat step 1.

I can count the number of times I have made it to step 2 on one hand. Wow, after some thought, I've had three first dates and one second date, never had a third date.

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

 

 

I'm trying to think of some examples where a woman can tell I have social capital.

 

I think you need to develop social capital. Then worry about whether a woman can tell you have it.

 

I can already talk to girls and make friends.

 

I don't believe this is true. I don't think you have been an actual "friend" to any girl / woman, and evidently you don't have guy friends either. As I recall, you feel it's a waste of your time.

 

Just being in the proximity of a person without being sexual does not equal being friends.

 

I have the benefit of looking much younger than I am. Nobody ever guesses my age correctly. So as long as I keep my age to myself, it's not a hindrance.

 

SD, you really need to stop applying your own unique (and they are very unique) social attributes to other people.

 

Many people, whether they can tell how old you are or not, will easily be able to tell that you are misrepresenting yourself somehow. Banking on somehow "fooling" girls is not going to get you very far, especially since you are attracted to girls who have a lot more social savvy than you do. You won't trick them, and you certainly won't be "connecting" with them.

 

Your ONLY HOPE is to meet and connect with the girls who are going to actually like you for who and what you are. If you develop your "social capital," this will only increase that pool.

 

If you don't / won't / can't stop thinking of women as "objects" which are somehow thwarting your happiness and causing you frustration, you are not going to get anywhere with women. Your social / emotional development needs to be worked on BY YOU. But, first you'd have to realize this, which you have shown no signs of doing. So … keep on starting threads on LoveShack, I guess.

[somedude81]

I think you need to develop social capital. Then worry about whether a woman can tell you have it.

I need to know what women look for first so I can work on that.

 

I don't believe this is true. I don't think you have been an actual "friend" to any girl / woman,

Why do you say that? Just because I wanted to be in a relationship with somebody doesn't mean that I was never their friend.

SD, you really need to stop applying your own unique (and they are very unique) social attributes to other people.

No, I'm applying it to myself. I don't know how you though otherwise.

 

Many people, whether they can tell how old you are or not, will easily be able to tell that you are misrepresenting yourself somehow. Banking on somehow "fooling" girls is not going to get you very far, especially since you are attracted to girls who have a lot more social savvy than you do. You won't trick them, and you certainly won't be "connecting" with them.

I don't even see why my age even matters at all.

 

Why is it suddenly more creepy for me to be into 22 year old women now then when I was 22?

 

I can't think of any reason why a girl would not want to date me because of my age.

 

Your ONLY HOPE is to meet and connect with the girls who are going to actually like you for who and what you are.

And that's exactly why I made this thread. I don't know how to be somebody that girls are going to like me for who I am.

If you don't / won't / can't stop thinking of women as "objects" which are somehow thwarting your happiness and causing you frustration, you are not going to get anywhere with women.

I don't think that has any relevance at all.

 

Your social / emotional development needs to be worked on BY YOU.

And how is it something I can actually work on by myself? There is only so much I can do without anybody else. I need to move on to the next stage so I can continue to grow.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mme. Chaucer

I think you need to develop social capital. Then worry about whether a woman can tell you have it.

 

I need to know what women look for first so I can work on that.

 

You're wrong. It doesn't work that way. You're 30. You must be getting an inkling about this by now.

 

Regarding the "friend" issue: you have posted quite a bit here that demonstrates that you have no concept or interest in being or having true friendship with anyone, and I have not read any examples of you ever having experienced that.

 

People have probably told you dozens of times that you need to develop that to end up getting what you want. You reject all of it.

 

Regarding the "age" issue: It's not creepy, it's just not happening. 20 - 22 year old girls don't want to date guys 10 years older than they are unless the guy is well established. That's the allure of the "older man."

 

Being 30 and seeming 22 is NOT a plus for a man in dating. It means you are immature. Which is not horrible, but it's not going to be a benefit either.

[SJC2008]

"I need to know what women look for first so I can work on that."

 

This is part of if not the majority of your problem IMO. Stop putting women on a pedestal. I have the feeling you may be so insecure and desperate it's coming out of you pores and women can sense that when you intereact with them and I say that with all due respect. I've said it here myself that woman don't have "radar" or pick up on things like that more than men can but that may be the "vibe" you're giving of. Perfect example but with the roles reversed: The last girl I dated (great date but thread) was very funny, convo flowed good and it was probably the greatest date I'd been on. Well she teased me which was cool bc I like women who joke around and have a good sense of humor. But she kept teasing me and it got to the point where I got the feeling that she was really insecure and then when she said she once dated a guy who was clingy it really turned me of, I don't need to hear that crap on a date. Anyway, the VIBE she gave off served me correct because she texted me after the date, the next day and the day after after that, before I initiated contact even once. I ultimately decided not to date her because she lied about her weight in her profile but I was considering seeing her again but her contacting me so much made the decision way easier.

 

Are you getting dates and than friend zoned or getting friend zoned off the bat?? If you have so many female friends from being f zoned why don't you aske them to introduce you to someone??

[Teknoe]

I need to know what women look for first so I can work on that.

 

Bad idea. Just another excuse for you to not try. It's the whole faulty "When Then" theory. Unsuccessful people in life operate by this theory.

 

"When ____, Then I'll ____"

 

But keep telling yourself that everything will "work itself out" without you giving a real effort.

 

I don't even see why my age even matters at all.

 

Why is it suddenly more creepy for me to be into 22 year old women now then when I was 22?

 

I find it hard to believe that a 30 year old guy can't wrap his head around the fact that the older you get, the creepier it gets for him to target girls in their early 20s. At that age, they're just puppies. You should be engaging with women closer to your age.

 

Why does it feel like I'm talking to a brick wall? You're just burying your head in the sand and I see a lot of self-sabotage in your life. It doesn't seem as though you've matured in mindset whatsoever in the last 18 months. I thought perhaps the D experience would have given you a bit of a wake up call, but you're in the same exact position as before.