wishing for a different family

[Desensitized]

Words cannot express my frustration and anger that I have towards my family. I feel like a monster... the only people I care about in my family are my 2 sisters. I hate the way my parents raised me. Because of the way my parents raised me, I have become arrogant (i think I'm better than literally everyone I meet, even though I know it's most likely untrue), I am an anxious person and I strongly believe that it's because of them.

 

My dad likes to test me for some odd reason, not sure why but it pisses me off. He pissed me off the other day because he told me he was going to buy me a car about 2 months ago and then the other day we were talking about it, and he's like "I'm not buying you a car." So then I'm like, "well, that's not what you said 2 months ago. Why make false promises then?" And then my dad raised his voice and proceeded to piss me off by saying you don't deserve this, that, etc. This conversation occurred in our family vehicle while I was driving. I am 20 years old and don't have my license, so I was practicing.

 

When we got to our house, he went inside, I stayed in the car. I was pissed off and then when my dad came back to the car, he said that he was just kidding and wanted to see my reaction to what he said. Like why? Why does he want to test me and piss me off like that? That's f*cked up in my opinion.

 

I've been so agitated lately because I feel like my parents want me to fail. Specifically my dad. He says he cares, but I think it's a bunch of lies. I'm just f*cking agitated that I don't have my license either. I took the exam this past week and failed, so I have to practice some more but I don't want to because I absolutely HATE driving with my dad. And my mom doesn't want to take me out driving because she's too "busy" with her life. She's annoying to drive with anyway. Anyways, I'm just pissed I don't have my license because even my 16 year old cousin has his license. Pathetic, really. I wish I was done with medical school already so then I could have my own car and practice with whoever I wished to practice with.

 

It just pisses me off. I thought I would be a good driver. I f*cking suck. My dad doesn't know how to teach someone to drive and supposedly, "he's a good driver." He can't teach worth sh*t. I feel like sh*t because I wasted 4 years that I could have been driving and getting good at driving. I had a date with this girl I liked 2 weeks ago but I canceled because I don't have a car and I don't have my license. And I can't get it anytime soon because I am going out of state for a month and a half and won't have time to practice. So I'll be even worse at driving when I get back! Woopee! I'll never get my license. I'm a relatively good driver driving on roads, but I suck at parking. Frickin' awful.

 

I leave this Saturday to go out of state and I am so stressed. I don't want to leave feeling so depressed and pissed off. Gah. Sometimes I wish I had a different family.

[setsenia]

My dad has never been in the car with me once. Although he wanted me to get my license at 16. I preferred not to drive with him and deal with his harassment and criticism. My husband taught me to drive and I didn't get my license until I was 22, after failing the driving test an embarrassing 5 times (Silly mistakes). If I can get my license, so can you. I spent years thinking I'd never drive because I'd be a bad driver. Spend plenty of time practicing with someone you trust and don't fret if you don't pass the test the first few times.

[Radu]

You are such a spoiled brat OP.

 

Who is paying for that medical school, you ?

So tell me again how the parents who nurtured you for 20yrs, and who 'hinder' your development into a social butterfly are selfish ... pls do.

It's better you cancelled that date, you have the emotional maturity of a 10yr old.

 

PS: I hated driving with my dad too, and my mom.

My younger cousing taught me in the end.