I'm a dumpee, she's a dumpee

[truffelo]

I’m a dumpee, She’s a dumpee

Hello,

Maybe some off you all have already read my break-up story. In short: I (25) was together with this girl for 6 years. Everything always felt very good, she left in februari this year for an internship in Italy for 4 months. After a month she “suddenly” wanted to have more freedom there. She didn’t really thought about it but she asked for a break. In these 2 months she never had the courage to say that we ‘re “over and out” but as she started something with this Italian alpha-male some days later and is telling all of her friends she met the man of her life, I know I don’t want it anymore.She begged to stay friends and I fell for it in the beginning, even if here fb-wall full of pictures of her and her new lover, even if she said the strangest things (e.g.: I don’t like X(name of her new lover), I think he’s only with me to be his trophy and for the sex, I don’t trust him, I’m his 30st girlfriend etc). She used to be a wise, intelligent, sweet girl but now she’s acting like a real stupid teenage bitch.

But some weeks ago she deleted me all of the sudden from her facebook without an explanation . This week was my birthday and she sent me a message with his phone (I’ll try to translate it to English)

“ hey happy bday,hope you have a good day, no limits, greetings “

This message and the fact she sent it with his mobile, and this is such a meaningless, sloppy message, made it clear for me that I don’t want to know that girl anymore. Story is over.

But the end of the story started already 2 weeks earlier. And this is about what this post is about . I have always been someone who needs people around. So I started to plan evenings to talk to friends/old friends/ friends of friends/ friends of old friends/ family etc. I felt a lot better. I’ve always been someone very confident but somehow I lost that the last half year. But during all these evenings I regained my confidence because I noticed that a lot of people appreciated my presence and that a lof of people wanted me to hang around.

So one evening, a girl who I know since I was 14 but hadn’t had contact with for years (probably 7 years, she was one of the best friends of my first ex) showed up. She was a good friend of some of my new mates. I always had a lot of respect for her and I remembered the time I had a big crush on her while I was with my first ex. But somehow she always seemed too cool . Over the last 6 years she had been traveling the whole world. At the end of the evening it seemed she lived in my neighborhood, so we walked together.

I was curious about what she thought about my break up story because I knew she also had been a lot abroad and maybe she recognized the story.

She said: “ok let’s talk about it but I want to say something to you too, my boyfriend dumped me a week ago and I’m not able to talk about it with anyone, so I’ll talk about it with you”. So we started our stories and went to a bar. We talked for hours. She was very hurt because of the brake up with her ex. She were together for 6 months but she really thought this was the man of her life.

I was very surprised how she seemed so different than I thougt she was. She had such a great humor, we could talk about everything, we were very honest, she was a lot more human and less a robot than I always imagined. And suddenly she looked soooo pretty . Since then I stopped thinking 10 days each minute about my ex and that made me feel so happy.

We hugged and agreed we should stay in contact.

The next day and the day after that day and the day after etc… I saw her everyday: a simple walk in the park, picnic with wine, making diner for each other, phonecalls etc.

Off course we’re talking 75 % of the time about our break ups and I know that’s the only thing in her mind now too. But we made fun too at some parties with friends. Sometimes she sends me emails to give me compliments and that feels so good.

In the beginning I told myself I better not think I was in love and that I’ll better wait a few months because this didn’t had a chance at this moment. Most probably this would mean the end of our short but intense friendship.

The last days she’s studying for her exams and so I’m seeing her less and hearing less from her too. Yesterday I saw her after 5 days again and I realized I was so much in love. I can’t think about anything else.

It’s like I have a broken heart again because I know I can’t do anything with this feeling. First off all, this is not the moment in our lives and maybe even more important: she’s like goddess and I’m like way out of her league.

Off course I’m not sure I will feel the same way about her within a month or more, but I think these feelings are only going to get stronger and stronger. What’s your advice?

-Take some distance and try not to think about her?

-Try to become an even better friend and see how it goes?

Edited June 1, 2012 by truffelo

[truffelo]

can this post be replaced to "friends and lovers" section?