Trying to make everyone happy

[LSChic]

So my college reunions are this weekend and I won't be able to make it. Generally, the reunions start on Thursday or Friday and they go until Sunday night.

 

Tonight is Friday and I have a little bit of time so I'm going to make the 90 minute drive to my alma mater to meet up with some girlfriends that I haven't seen in a few years.

 

The problem is, my ex boyfriend got wind that I was going to be on campus and called me to see if I wanted to get a drink. Our relationship was emotionally and physically abusive. It was essentially a hell for both of us. Despite this, we still got engaged (with a ring and everything) before splitting up in the worst way possible. After about 6 months, we got to talking again and actually built a pretty sturdy platonic relationship. Even though we broke over a year ago, we were still having sex until about 6 months ago.

 

I currently have a boyfriend of 2 months. He's amazing. When we met, we clicked so well in every way that our relationship got really intense really fast (which I actually enjoy). He was also a virgin when we met (even though he's 30) so I guess that lent a hand to strengthening our relationship.

 

My bf has already asked me to stop talking to my ex, which I did. Aside picking up the phone today, I haven't communicated with my ex in any way since my bf asked me to stop. My bf didn't demand it of me, he just said it made him feel uncomfortable. Ultimately, it was MY decision 100% to stop talking to the ex. My bf is seriously the opposite of controlling.

 

So I told my ex that I'd love to see him and grab a drink. Since both of us have SO's now, I assumed it would diffuse whatever threat my bf perceived. Also, I'm 99% confident that it will be a completely positive, platonic experience.

 

I checked with my bf. He's away on a business trip so I texted him. I told him that I was on the fence about whether to actually go see my ex and I wanted his opinion on the matter. The conversation went like this:

BF

: Well, what's in it for you?

 

ME: Nothing. But there are also no significant costs to hanging out with him. I'

m

going to be at school anyway. Maybe I'll get a free drink.

 

BF

: It would make me very uncomfortable, but only because I don't understand why you'd go in the first place. Can you try to answer that?

I don't have an answer for him because I think he'd freak out if I told him the truth. The truth is I loved my ex very much and a part of me still loves him, but I don't love him in a way that would threaten my current relationship. Still, it was very nice to hear from him on the phone and, yeah, I do want to see his face.

 

If you're at the point where you're willing to commit your LIFE to someone, that kind of love doesn't go away in a year. It might never completely go away at all.

 

So should I see the ex or not? What should I tell the bf? Is there a way to go about this where all three of us end up happy and no one lies?

 

I just want to make it clear that, right now, there is nothing on this planet that could get me to cheat on my bf. And by "cheat" I mean do anything I wouldn't want my bf to see (holding hands, kissing, sex, etc.) I am incredibly devoted to him. I can't stress that enough.