Trying to better myself, what else can I do?

[j3t]

I'm 25, never had a real relationship or sex, was too much of a doormat and "nice guy" and I decided a few months ago that I was tired of it all and started to make some serious changes. I was extremely sheltered as a kid all the way up to college, and I missed out on a lot of stuff and experiences that would have made me more rounded out. I want to be more social, way more confident, attractive, have relationships and have some sex, and above all else, feel alive and enjoy my youth before I lose it. So far:

 

- Started going to the gym regularly, and now I do so every day and getting results. Also, I quit smoking, **** was gross.

- Started actually dating and working on cutting out the Mr. Smiley Face attitude. Nothing really came from it all yet, but I'm making the effort to put myself out there and try my luck, learning from my mistakes when she doesn't return my calls or "just wants to be friends".

- Stopped with the "saving virginity for that super special awesome girl of my dreams" stuff. If anything I used it as an excuse, which was not good.

- Stopped taking advice from most women. Most of it was pretty bad, misguided and ****ty. No offense to the women here, but seriously, it was.

- Moved out from my parents home to NYC, and trying my best to go clubbing, socialize, meet new people and loosen up.

- Looking at the detrimental traits others in my position have, and making sure I don't exhibit the same behavior (inaction, neediness, self-loathing, etc).

 

Though people say it's nothing to worry about and not a big deal, I don't want to be someone in his 30's who hasn't had more than his right hand and is socially deadlocked when it comes to women. Screw that, I don't want that.

 

In short, I just want to man up. What else can I do to better myself? Or...am I doing the right things and I just need to give it all time and more effort? Been sticking to my efforts to change for a few months so far, but I still need a huge leg up in my confidence, and I honestly have no idea how to handle myself with women and still exhibit a lot of shyness and anxiety, which I know is not very attractive. I've been on a streak of rejection and "friend-zoning", and I want to cut it out and quit being alone.

 

Since I was raised with the notion of "be super polite, chivalrous, and passive/accommodating with every woman you see", it took me awhile to see that it's pretty obsolete and most women my age don't find it very attractive and prefer a guy thats assertive, keeps them guessing/interested, and is confident/sure of himself. I was made fun of constantly up until I turned 24, and I'm trying my best to shake all the baggage from that loose so I can get on with improving myself.

[zigg1]

don't be afraid to approach women, honestly the worst u can get is a "no".

 

rejection is a part of life. Just deal with it.

 

Working out, having a car and a job has boosted my confidence A LOT so try finding things that will work for you!

 

dont be afraid to make jokes with girls and break that touch barrier, you will know when a women is comfortable around u when shes walking side by side less than a foot away and she lays her hands on you.

 

also dont be too available, or up her butt all the time, wait some time to return her calls or texts and show that she aint the only girl in ur life.

 

i have a very kind and caring freind who everyone says is "a nice guy" i always hear girls saying "OHHH hes soooo nice, i would totally date him!!"

 

but never do because hes just too available and nice. Sometimes u have to be an ass. Women like men that are confident and are not afraid to take risks.

 

 

most importantly, look out for yourself above others. Just don't fall into that nice guy section, because it may seem like she likes you, but she may be just using u as an emotional tampon.

 

and ive been down that road, il tell you, its a long uphill battle.

 

most importantly, HAVE FUN and dont take rejection to heart!