Red1981 Posted June 1, 2012 Share Posted June 1, 2012 Ok im going to apologize in advance for such a lengthy description of whats going on . Been married 5 1/2 yrs together 10. She's 29 im 31. Just recently found out she is pregnant with 1st child ! The entire time we have been married i have tried everything i can think of to fix or at least work on this with no luck. She is in a bad mood every single day , she wont relax for even a minute ever , she stuffs every waking sec with her job and tasks of everything around the house u could think of , if i do everything i can that she mentions she needs to get done before she gets home she makes more to do , dont get me wrong house is perfect , great meals fixed , she keeps herself perfect , and works her ass off and i appreciate it ! But she drives herself into a frantic grouchy screaming at the dogs and slamming doors ball of stress over it , and even tho i do all sorts of household duties and pull my weight she constantly bossing me around and picking at me for every little thing. Shes in such a stressed mood that shes never in the mood so sex is all but gone and scheduled if we do ! And i had reached my breaking point and was considering having that we fix this or im out talk when we found out about the baby , i was happy about the news but she said her life was over now and has been neg ever since , and hasnt mellowed a bit . # 1 im worried this is a neg enviroment for the baby and #2 i dont know how much longer i can be around it everyday ?? Whats ur takes on this ?? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted June 1, 2012 Share Posted June 1, 2012 # 1 im worried this is a neg enviroment for the baby You are right to worry about it! #2 i dont know how much longer i can be around it everyday ?? Have you talked to her about it? Whats ur takes on this ?? Extensive and in depth therapy - for her alone and your two as a couple. ASAP. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Red1981 Posted June 1, 2012 Author Share Posted June 1, 2012 You are right to worry about it! Have you talked to her about it? Extensive and in depth therapy - for her alone and your two as a couple. ASAP. Yes multiple times and approched subject multiple ways , she instantly gets mad and defensive, and onces said when i mentioned marriage counceling that she was fine and liked the way she was so if there was a prob and i wasnt happy that i alone need to figure it out ? That shes not going to spend money asking a stranger to analize her life , and she thought i needed to quit being a drama queen . At that point as u can imagine it just turned into a huge fight ? She is however a very routine and never step out of her comfort zone kinda person so i have told myself she knows there is a prob but would rather ignore it cause shes in here comfort zone now right or wrong ?? Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted June 1, 2012 Share Posted June 1, 2012 The entire time we have been married i have tried everything i can think of to fix or at least work on this with no luck. She is in a bad mood every single day , she wont relax for even a minute ever Well Red, as you have concluded, what your doing ain't working. You cannot force her to change, you can only change the way you deal with her, which may or may not change the way she behaves..follow? Try something different..for example, the next time she has her daily fit, record her....tell her that she must get into counseling or your leaving, then do it. You need to talk and listen less, and act more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Red1981 Posted June 2, 2012 Author Share Posted June 2, 2012 Standtall, I had been close to doing just that until i found out she was pregnant ! After that i kinda took the passive aproach beacause i new her emotions and hormons were going crazy right now and the last thing i want is to stress the pregnancy even more than she already does , and 5 months pregnant is not the ideal time to give an ultimatum like that is it ? So ive just been continuing to deal with it i guess. I now am very unsure of what to do because i have a relationship to build and responsabilities for our baby coming in just a few short months , wondering if walking away is even still an option . Largely tho is this common in young wives in 1st 5 yrs of marriage ? I didnt dramatize it at all my post is realistic so would you agree it excessive ? Link to post Share on other sites
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