StormyWeather Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 Okay, I'll make this as short as possible without losing the important parts. I was in a relationship for almost 3 years. Didn't work out, so I ended it. I joined an online dating site out of curiosity, several days after I joined I started talking to a man that really intruiged me. I sent him a message first and we went back and forth for a day or so before I gave him my number so he could text me, since the app I was working on was slow. We texted for a week or so and it became apparent that he'd seen me before because he shops where I work. He asked if he could meet me on my lunch break the next day and I agreed. I had seen his pic online so I kept an eye out and when I saw him, OH MY GOD!!! He was gorgeous and, for the life of me, I figured after that half hour together he'd dissapear but he was very egar to take me out that night. He told me that he was in the final stages of a divorce and didn't want me to be suprised by any of it, but having been in that situation myself, I wasn't going to judge. I dated a man after I left my husband who ripped my heart out, but I wasn't going to hold it against this guy. We kept texting and talking and met up a few times. I have to include, we didn't have sex...we made out a few times but never went further. We had a date scheduled for a day we were both off work and he cancelled. I had this gut feeling that I decided to persue and he finally admitted that he wasn't sure how to go about things, he really liked me and we had alot in common, but he was on an emotional rollercoaster. To try and save face, I told him I understood(and I do) and that I wasn't ready to be in a relationship with someone in his situation. I did admit to him that I was hurt, after everything he'd said and the conversations we'd had, and I figured that would be it and I'd never hear from him again. But we've continued talking since then. Not alot of time has elapsed, maybe 4 weeks, but he's become one of my very best friends and I've become one of his. We talk constantly, honestly and openlyabout everything. His divorce is final and alot of our conversations recently have been full of heavy sexual innuendo. Neither one of us are the one night stand or friends with benifits type. It's gotten pretty hot and heavy though, I even sent him semi-nude pictures and I don't do that for anyone. I've been asked out alot since we had the cease and desist convo but I keep making excuses to the other guys or not going out. And we both deleted our dating profiles on the site, I know he did because I reactivated mine a few weeks ago and his is still 'deleted or suspended'. I have had severaldatesand still talk to a couple of the guys...I have a couple of dates lined up for this coming week, but damnit, he's the one I want! He knows about my dates and seems to be supportive but he asks smart ass questions about them and is glad when I'm not interested. My friend is afraid he's using me, but I assure her he's not. I guess my question is, with the background info I've given, is what do I do now? I'm head over heels for this guy and I don't want to push him into something he's not ready for. I think he wants to be with me but he also wants to find hisself and be alone for awhile(my observation, not what he's said). I've kept dating other people because I don't want to be strung along but, damnit, no one comes close to making me forget how I feel about him! I don't want to lose him as a friend but I want him as so much more.I'm just so lost and I don't know where to go from here. Any input, no matter how harsh, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read this soap opera. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 he has what he needs form you. Someone to be there to support him emotionally, and keep him happy, but he's keeping you at arm's length because he's scared of commitment. And sending him risqué photos was lunacy. I know you'll probably come back and tell me you trust him to never abuse that aspect, but remember people end up divorcing people they thought they knew, and would be with for ever. you need to play it a lot cooler. He'll never come after you if you keep giving him what he wants. You need to be a little harder to 'get'. Stop being so nurturing and understanding. Don't you have needs too...? Link to post Share on other sites
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