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Complicated issue with trying to get close to this girl...


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Hmm...I sense a potential problem.

 

I've been able to contact her about twice since the 1st. The first time, she said call back the next day because of her schedule. And I did, but no reply.

 

Second time, I called her around noon, and she said call back at 4. Same thing.

 

She doesn't sound like she's sorry to hear from me, but this is getting to me. I know she has lots of work to do, but I haven't even managed to get to the point of asking her out. What should I do? :\

 

P.S. I just do that when I don't want to sign in. :p

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My instincts say something's not quite right here. If it were me I wouldn't call her back, but I know that's not what you want to hear, and I guess I'm okay with giving her the benefit of the doubt one last time.

 

But here's the deal: don't call her back at exactly the time she tells you to call. Wait a few days and call her back again, and if she does it again, just kindly move on. You can say "Well, it sounds like you're busy these days. I tell you what, here's my number: you call me when it's convenient for you and maybe we can do this sometime." And then get off the phone.

 

Either way, I wouldn't worry about this because there's nothing you did to cause this. A girl may sometimes give out a number just because she feels obligated to or doesn't want to reject you directly. That doesn't mean she's serious about a date. The only way you'll know is to ask.

 

In case it crossed your mind, the waiting a few days had nothing to do with this. It's a simple rule of nature: if a girl is interested in you, she will wait a week (and maybe longer) to hear from you. She will think about you more and hope that you call. She may get a little frustrated, thinking you may not call her. But when you do call her, there will be a sense of relief and excitement...if she likes you, that is. If a girl doesn't like you, she'll just give you excuses about why she can't talk to you or meet you.

 

You've made the right moves as far as the approach goes. She just may not be interested. C'est la vie.

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Yeah, I'll probably give her one last chance. I've had a situation with another person and just when I was about to give up, came through. So I'll give that much. But it would be so much easier if she just said something along the lines of "hey, I'm flattered but I won't have time to go out with you." I could lick my wounds and just leave. Not saying I have any, but at least let me go, ya know?

 

But it hadn't even crossed my mind that strategy. I know it's a good one. In fact, this is the first time that I believe that the responsibility was just on the other person. It's just her taste, perhaps. I didn't do anything. Feels weird, but good emotionally, for sure.

 

Let's see where this goes.

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with her. I too hate not knowing what's going on with the other person.

I'm a female though and it seems "most" men think it's fine to just not call.

I need closure,just tell me it's over,yeah it may hurt but at least I can move on.

I'm going through this now too. Hopefully your friend will call you or you can reach her and just ask her out and see where it goes. Good luck.Keep us updated.

JEN

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I've been able to contact her about twice since the 1st. The first time, she said call back the next day because of her schedule. And I did, but no reply.

 

Second time, I called her around noon, and she said call back at 4. Same thing.

 

Ooh...not good. This is the approach I take when I have no interest in talking to a guy. I know it's wimpy, but it's easier to give him a big old hint that I'm not interested by not answering or being there when he calls back then to flat out say "Look, I gave you my number because you caught me on the spot and I didn't want to turn you down to your face!"

 

I know it would be better just to be direct, but...well, you know!

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It's hard to reject someone directly. It's easier jut to ignore the situation, hope the guy gets the hint, and hope it goes away.

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With call display now a days...I've even had a chick return my call, kinda like they have one foot in and one foot out stringing things on even more (almost like they're either confused on what they want or something). Strange indeed. It later fizzled out anyway.

 

The games people play...drives me nuts

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I know it would be better just to be direct, but...well, you know!

 

And that's exactly why I've started dating around with more than just one woman. Not that I'm doing anything dishonest - I do tell the women I'm dating whether or not I'm interested in a commitment at this time. But I date around now. I don't just go for one woman, I go for several women I think I'm interested in and start dating them at different times of the week. That way, if one of them flakes out, I've got another one in the wings and I'll immediately replace her with someone else.

 

Now you know why players become players.

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You're right about one thing. I should be out with other girls in case of one of them does something like this. If I did, I might care a little, but not so much. And more importantly, I'd probably be having more fun. I'm going to give her one last time, but after that, I'm getting on with my life. If she doesn't think I'm at least worth an explanation, then what am I really losing?

 

Come to think of it, I do believe I have some interesting prospects in my life right now. I think one of them may get lucky enough to be with me. :p

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That's the spirit!

 

Better yet, don't just settle for the prospects you have now. Go out and make new ones. Get those phone numbers and get into action.

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Its a numbers game for sure, I always seem to get hurt when I loose sight and begin to focus on just one.

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