Jenny317 Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 I LOST CONTROL!!! I mean i have been dating him for 3 days so far, and well we went out 4 times already! it was me, jayme(best friend), joe(jayme's boyfriend), and joseph(my boyfriend) well we decided to have a 4 some, and well im only 13! I didn't struggle to say "yes"! Me and Jayme started to take off our shirts, and so joseph and joe decided to take off their shirts, and pants! Jayme didn't go past her shirt! so all she had on was her bra, underware, and pants! Then I took off my pants, and my bra, but i kept my thongs on! And then I don't know how I did it but I lost my virginaty with joseph! I am usually telling him "no i won't do it" but I don't want that to happen AGAIN! I just lost control I didn't know what the hell I was doing or thinkin! What should I do?¿?¿?¿ Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 Hmmm- how old is Joseph? Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 Jenny, How is your relationship with your mother? Talk to her. She might get upset at first, but ask her to help you. Once she gets over her initial shock (It is very difficult for parents sometimes to admit their children are growing up) she can probably help you deal with this. You are at an age where curiosity and experimentation is at the top of your mind and emotions. But you HAVE to learn how to keep control. If your mom can't help you - talk to a guidance counselor at school. You do not have to divulge names. Talk to a minister at church for help, and find a family planning clinic to help educate you on birth control and how sexually transmitted diseases are spread----there are a lot of myths and bad information out there. Don't rely on your friends -- get the facts from professionals such as at a clinic. Right now, today, you need to talk to your mother about getting a morning-after pill so that you don't get pregnant. It is imperative that you do this right away---if you wait too long you could have a baby. Stay away from your friends for a while until you are better educated about the physical aspects of sex and until you have talked with your parents about how to handle all of these emotions. Sometimes its embarrassing or scary to talk to your parents, but let me tell you--- they have been through it too. You inherited your curiosity and your libido/sex drive from them. They may well remember what it felt like and should be able to help you by telling you how they dealt with the emotions and with their friends. You can even start your conversation with "Mom, when you were my age did your friends pressure you to experiment with sex? How did you handle it?" You can not let this happen again. You can do harm to your body. You must learn to say NO and set limits for yourself. A parent, counselor, nurse, or minister can help you. Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 Also- where were Joe and Jaymie? If they were there than you need to tell Jaymie how much you do not want to repeat the situation. As your peer she will be able to support you more in social settings. Link to post Share on other sites
kirkyswife Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 I'm so sad to hear that you lost your virginity at such a young age in such a insignificant manner. I wish you could have experienced "love" prior to allowing someone the opportunity to have something so very precious and intimate. I absolutely 100% feel that you are too young to continue with sexual activity- at 13 you are not capable of understanding the significance of the act. Furthermore, sex should be, despite what society projects, an act that is shared between two people who love and respect one another. You really need to talk with someone and NOT another 13, 14, 15 year old friend - you need to talk to a parent, counselor, doctor, "big sister" who can share your feelings and can pose questions to you that I find absolutely impossible via an internet site. PLEASE refrain from further sexual intercourse, most specifically in such a degrading way. You are too young to participate in sexual experimentation - well actually sweetie, you are just too young to deal with sort of thing. Honey are just now experiencing pimples and periods and breasts and all of the things that plague Pre-teens, let alone teenagers. Tell me something Jenny - what is your relationship with your family? How many siblings do you have and are you the oldest or youngest? Talk to me Jenny! Link to post Share on other sites
whoops Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 Originally posted by kirkyswife I'm so sad to hear that you lost your virginity at such a young age in such a insignificant manner. I wish you could have experienced "love" prior to allowing someone the opportunity to have something so very precious and intimate. I absolutely 100% feel that you are too young to continue with sexual activity- at 13 you are not capable of understanding the significance of the act. Furthermore, sex should be, despite what society projects, an act that is shared between two people who love and respect one another. You really need to talk with someone and NOT another 13, 14, 15 year old friend - you need to talk to a parent, counselor, doctor, "big sister" who can share your feelings and can pose questions to you that I find absolutely impossible via an internet site. PLEASE refrain from further sexual intercourse, most specifically in such a degrading way. You are too young to participate in sexual experimentation - well actually sweetie, you are just too young to deal with sort of thing. Honey are just now experiencing pimples and periods and breasts and all of the things that plague Pre-teens, let alone teenagers. Tell me something Jenny - what is your relationship with your family? How many siblings do you have and are you the oldest or youngest? Talk to me Jenny! kirkyswife, please stop stuffing your morals about sex down a 13 year old's throat. I would hardly call a 4 some insignificant, in fact I'm sure it's something she'll always remember. It's nice that you feel sex should be done with love only in mind but your thought on that encompasses a tiny amount of the population kirkyswife. Jenny Did you all use condoms? Have you even begun menstruating? How old are these boys? If you are afraid to talk to your mother, please consider talking to a public health nurse at a walk in clinic. Definetly make your friend go with you!! Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 Jenny, Before I address this, I think it would be irresponsible of me (given your age) to fail to tell you that this is something you should address with your parents. At the very least, talk to them about the fact that you are sexually active. Now... It is natural for a girl your age to be curious about sex. I don't think you're immoral for wanting to know what it's like. At the same time, the world is a more complicated place than you could possibly imagine at your young age. If you get pregnant or, God forbid, get some disease, you wouldn't be able to handle that on your own. That's what all of this comes down to, Jenny. That's what every single decision for the rest of your life will ever come down to when break it down to the lowest common denominator: can you handle the consequences of what you do? I can say with confidence that at 13 you hardly have a clue about how to shake your butt on the dancefloor -- let alone how to deal with raising your own children. You couldn't even get an abortion on your own if you wanted to -- you're not old enough to give consent. You couldn't even get medical treatment for an STD if you wanted. Again, too young to give consent. Stick to dinners, movies and a goodnight kisses for now. Okay??? Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 Originally posted by whoops I would hardly call a 4 some insignificant, in fact I'm sure it's something she'll always remember. It's nice that you feel sex should be done with love only in mind but your thought on that encompasses a tiny amount of the population kirkyswife. I truly hope that more than "a tiny amount of the population" feels that there should be a signifigant tie between love and sex! I am sure that Jenny will always remember- unfortunately- if you haven't noticed from her post -she already regrets it. (that mean face is for whoops- not you Jenny) Jenny I agree w/ everyone here that you should address this with another adult-preferably your parents. What's done can't be undone- but you can learn from this experiance and use that knowledge in the future. Don't tempt yourself (or them) by being alone w/any boys until you are a lot older. Go to the movies or hang out in the living room with your family- just don't rely on your friends not to get caught up with you. Put your faith in crowds and adults you trust. You now know that even if your body may feel ready - your heart and mind still need time. Just because you had sex once DOES NOT mean you have to do it again. I hope some day- when you are ready- you find someone very special and you will see why sex with love and maturity is really better than rushing in with just your body. Keep your chin up- I wish you all the best. Link to post Share on other sites
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