YellowLioness Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 It seems that even solid relationships have problems after the couples reaches seven months. My friends even have a term for it, the 7th Month Hump! This is true of me and my current boyfriend, and SO many of my friends. I was just wondering if this was a wide spread occurance, or just with us strange West Virginia people. Thanks! Yellow Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 I have read about something similar to this. Apparently, all of the chemicals that the brain produces, which seem to perhaps be linked with "love", tend to wear off to some degree after a few month's time. I suppose this "seven month hump" is another way of looking at this. It seems that the mysticism completely wears off for most people at this point, or soon after. If solid foundations for a long-term relationship have not been set, and one or both partners is just looking for that magical "new" feeling, things probably will not go much further. I have experienced similar things in the past, and at six to eight months everything does seem to get much more difficult. I haven't had to deal with this in a while, however, as I haven't really been in anything remotely long term for over one year. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 I've heard in a magazine that you really get to know someone after nine months. And it takes nine months to get to the 'real' person. Hmm, maybe that's related, idunno. Link to post Share on other sites
Author YellowLioness Posted June 28, 2004 Author Share Posted June 28, 2004 Hrmmm, thanks for your posts guys. Seems there is something to the whole 7th month thing after all... My friends will be interested to hear this! :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 For me, it was three months and eight months. i could handle anyone for about three months. If they lasted more than three months, it meant it was more than physical. If they lasted more than eight months, it meant we were compatible as well as having physical and emotional chemistry. Link to post Share on other sites
NatoPMT Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 I've never heard of this, but i think i am going through that. its almost exactly 7 months. how annoying. I have just asked the 2 girls sat either side of me, and they agreed. i thought i was in for some fun when i saw the term '7 month hump'. Link to post Share on other sites
echoparkdude Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 i think i'm going through it too. it's almost 6 months for me. any advice. this hump is strange and annoying to me. Link to post Share on other sites
moodyblues Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 For me its six months and for my boyfriend it is nine months. We are in our seventh month and I believe the more "real" parts of ourselves are coming out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author YellowLioness Posted July 15, 2004 Author Share Posted July 15, 2004 yeah, i think that's a good point. i think faux mentioned that things go to pot when the rose colored glasses fall off. :-) after that, it seems that most couples are either home free, or the individual members are single. Before my bf, I actually thought about joining a convent, and I'm not even Catholic. lol. (There's really a whole lot to being a Nun... I had no idea until I researched it fully and decided that it was not for me) ;-) Link to post Share on other sites
neptoon Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 I'm experiencing an 8th month hump right now. Admittedly, the problems did begin around the middle of the 7th month mark. I don't know what he wants, I'm beginning to question what I want. Link to post Share on other sites
jw32802 Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 I kept hearing that it is 3-4 months, when all that wears off.....isnt that when each person starts to put demands on each other? all the newness wears off and then they fight more etc? Link to post Share on other sites
echoparkdude Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 Yeah. Better think fast. I agree with that whole foundations concept. If you dont have some good foundations, I think things will fall apart when you hit the hump. I read somewhere that every relationship is story, a different love story. Just make sure you both know what that story is and that you both like it...that's my two cents. Link to post Share on other sites
jw32802 Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 what do u mean by foundations? Link to post Share on other sites
dassme Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 Well for me it started in the eighth month. We argued a bit more over petty things and our insecurities. By the time the 9th month came around it was like we were holding on just because and right now we are no longer together. I remember her mentioning something about her not having a very good track record with BF's around the 7th to 8th month of dating. What am I suppose to do? I guess all the fantasy and greatness of meeting someone new wears off and you see the true side of the person you are with. I personally saw it and I was quite shocked. Anyway good luck to others hitting this mark. I certainly didn't have it!! LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
Fetish 2 Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 I used to always go through slumps and boredom very easily. It only took me a month many of the times. I think the slump concept is quite true and common...many people go through it. I agree that if foundations are laid down, it's easier to get through it. each person starts to put demands on each other? all the newness wears off and then they fight more etc? I think that its up to both partners to really put in the effort to make sure that the slump doesn' occur...or if so..that it only occurs mildly. If you start to fight more- communication is the key. You need to talk to each other and find out what is bothering the other. If possible, you stuborness should be laid aside and each should try to reduce whatever is bugging the other. I've been with my current boyfriend for 9 months now and have not really gone through a slump at all yet. If there's one thing that my current boyfriend has taught me: it's that the "honeymoon" period does not need to end. He really puts in an effort to keep our relationship thriving, and has taught me how to too which i love him for. If you really love the person you are with and can se a decent future with them, you should put the effort in to do things new and enjoy your time together. Ok adios Link to post Share on other sites
XDOR Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Wait. When does this "hump" ends? It seems that for me this hump started exactly at the seventh month. We have "broken" but I still have hope that we will fix it. It was a month ago. Does this hump ends? What happens then? Link to post Share on other sites
Smoov Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 The "hump" only occurred because you let it. Link to post Share on other sites
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