I hate facebook

[geegirl]

Nan, when I caught my ex having sex with another woman in his driveway, in her car, I felt this pain that was so undescribable. I remember wanting to pass out as I walked away from the scene, trying to lean against cars, trees and bushes because my legs couldn't keep me up. I dropped to my knees and threw up by my car. I dragged myself inside and watched them having sex in the car. For an hour and twenty five minutes, tears rolling down my face, watching them go at it. Masochistic, yes. But I needed all my nails in that coffin pounded shut.

 

For months, I kept banging my head wondering who she was, why her, who does she think she is, I'm no good compared to her, she's prettier, her breasts were bigger...all sorts of thoughts that occupied my brain. I was drained. My hair was dropping, I lost weight, I skipped work, I became sick while he was walking around owning his new life.

 

There were days I wanted to drive by. There were days I wanted call him. There were days I wanted to bang on his door. I didn't do it. He had moved on. Nothing I said or did could make him come back and want me. Besides, how could I want someone that didn't want me. He wanted this other woman. My pride and my dignity kept me from reaching out. I know how you feel. I truly do and I understand constantly having to feel, "Why didn't he choose me?" You did the right thing and you know this deep down inside. The alternative has been nothing but pain for you.

 

I posted somewhere else that the best way to remind yourself of the reality is to journal and write all that was so wrong and all that you hope for. You will see the vast difference in what you believe is right for you versus what you thought was right for you.

 

It's perfectly fine to feel weak and unhappy. Yes, you will have to grieve this loss again but what's hopeful is that you once got to a better place without him. You can do it again. This is all so fresh and your wound is raw. You need to be proud of yourself for having the restraint to step away and realizing that your dignity is of utmost importance.

 

It's a false sense of security when keeping track of an ex. Everytime you "don't" find something that hurts you, you feel secure that he's still there. But when you see something you don't want to, then what about that is "security"? All that once made you feel secure has become your devastation. The best way to feel secure is to step away and never know what's going on with them because what you do not know won't hurt you. That is security.

 

You will feel better. But, you must give yourself a fighting chance. Being attached to him and connected to him via FB would have always and consistently made you feel bad and you don't want that because it damages your sense of self. Do you really want this man to break you this way? The fact that you can remember at one point you were healing, is testament that you can get back there again. And trust me when I say that his new girlfriend will most likely go through the same thing. It's going to be just a matter of time. But that is not your concern because by the time that happens, you will be far long into your healing.

 

Please tell your friends to never mention him to you again. And if you still want to know, then sometimes you have to really hit rock bottom and when you do, just the mention of his name will send you running the other way. You almost become fearful because you're afraid to hurt yourself. When that feeling comes, you will protect yourself. I hope you have reached that stage.

[geegirl]

Has anybody ever gotten over an ex while remaining friends on facebook?

 

This is the contradiction. You CANNOT be friends with an ex, unless you are completely and utterly unemotional about them. Period.

 

How do you get over someone when you have to be witness to them moving on with their lives with someone new when you're dying inside wishing they were with you?

 

And he is not a friend. A friend does not treat someone this way. I'm sure you are selective when it comes to who you let into your life as a friend. if I asked you, what makes a good friend? Would you say, "Someone that manipulates me, hurts me, toys with me, etc?"

 

"Friends" is nothing but a way to keep your foot in the door because you are too afraid to let go and face your pain and your reality.

[BewitchedandBothered]

Yeah, I realize that giving this much thought to facebook is beyond ridiculous, but here I go.

 

I feel like I set myself back to square one. Well, maybe square two. My ex made me feel like an immature child for unfriending him on facebook. Like unfriending him is just another example of how I am so hung up on him that I can’t even bear to see him on facebook. So I refriended him only to find out that he has me restricted so I can only see posts he makes public. I feel like he tricked me, but I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction so I restricted him. A few hours later he posts a picture with one of those bulls*** meaningless quotes saying” we should accept things as they are, not how we hope wish or want them to be.” And he makes it public, so I can see it.

 

I figured that was meant for me since he put it up like an hour after I restricted him. So I facebook messaged him that he was deluded if he thought I was ‘hoping or wishing ‘we got back together and I unfriended him again. He then texts me to tell me that picture wasn’t meant for me but I was “the third person he had to clear that up with”. Yeah….sure he did. It’s just a coincidence that he puts up that picture and makes it public, so even people on restricted list can see it, right after I re-friend him and put him on my restricted list…. Riiiight.

 

I guess the details don’t really matter as much as the fact that I can’t believe I undid so much progress in getting over him. I’m not a wreck crying or anything like that, but I’ve been dragging around in a crappy mood for the past two days thinking about him and who that picture could have been for, on the chance it really wasn’t meant for me. And who are these other 2 women who he had to clear this up with, or if he was just saying that to upset me because of what I told him about being deluded if he thought I want him back. I’m right back to obsessing nonstop over him and what he said and who he’s been seeing, etc.

 

I should have known better than to friend him on facebook again. I should have known better than to even read his messages. I feel like such a sucker. Well, all I can do is avoid facebook . Another thing he is doing is all of a sudden is posting comments on almost every status update of our one mutual friend…probably because he knows I’ll see them. I don’t know why he is doing this! Just to twist the knife, maybe it’s been too long since he’s had a chance to humiliate me.

 

I’m just venting. I can’t wait till I hate him. I hope he gets what’s coming to him. Sorry, but I don’t wish anything good for him.

Why don't you just block him? It gives you the upper hand and it also prevents you from seeing the junk he posts. My ex did the same thing; used FB as a game and toyed with me. When I got upset, he would say "you need to get off FB, you're obsessed!"==cringe......He would block me, then unblock me to send me a message, block me again so I could not respond. He would friend me again, but restrict me from being able to post on his wall, restrict me further by preventing me from seeing his wall; just whatever he made public. He acted like he didn't know me and deleted anything I did post on his wall when things were great. He then blocked me a few times and then the last time was for good in October, 2010. He is a snake in the grass. Anyone who uses this to toy with people such as our ex's do are extremely immature. I am glad you are angry and not crying over him. He just made it easier for you to get over him. And he said he had to clear this up with 2 others? It;s probably his imaginary friends. Pay this child no mind.

[BewitchedandBothered]

This is the contradiction. You CANNOT be friends with an ex, unless you are completely and utterly unemotional about them. Period.

 

How do you get over someone when you have to be witness to them moving on with their lives with someone new when you're dying inside wishing they were with you?

 

And he is not a friend. A friend does not treat someone this way. I'm sure you are selective when it comes to who you let into your life as a friend. if I asked you, what makes a good friend? Would you say, "Someone that manipulates me, hurts me, toys with me, etc?"

 

"Friends" is nothing but a way to keep your foot in the door because you are too afraid to let go and face your pain and your reality.

Wish you were around when I was going through my turmoil, Geegirl!!! Your words of wisdom are very helpful:)

[geegirl]

Wish you were around when I was going through my turmoil, Geegirl!!! Your words of wisdom are very helpful:)

 

You did just great on your own Bewitched! Glad you're in a good place now!

[nanbullen]

Nan, when I caught my ex having sex with another woman in his driveway, in her car, I felt this pain that was so undescribable. I remember wanting to pass out as I walked away from the scene, trying to lean against cars, trees and bushes because my legs couldn't keep me up. I dropped to my knees and threw up by my car. I dragged myself inside and watched them having sex in the car. For an hour and twenty five minutes, tears rolling down my face, watching them go at it. Masochistic, yes. But I needed all my nails in that coffin pounded shut.

 

For months, I kept banging my head wondering who she was, why her, who does she think she is, I'm no good compared to her, she's prettier, her breasts were bigger...all sorts of thoughts that occupied my brain. I was drained. My hair was dropping, I lost weight, I skipped work, I became sick while he was walking around owning his new life.

 

There were days I wanted to drive by. There were days I wanted call him. There were days I wanted to bang on his door. I didn't do it. He had moved on. Nothing I said or did could make him come back and want me. Besides, how could I want someone that didn't want me. He wanted this other woman. My pride and my dignity kept me from reaching out. I know how you feel. I truly do and I understand constantly having to feel, "Why didn't he choose me?" You did the right thing and you know this deep down inside. The alternative has been nothing but pain for you.

 

I posted somewhere else that the best way to remind yourself of the reality is to journal and write all that was so wrong and all that you hope for. You will see the vast difference in what you believe is right for you versus what you thought was right for you.

 

It's perfectly fine to feel weak and unhappy. Yes, you will have to grieve this loss again but what's hopeful is that you once got to a better place without him. You can do it again. This is all so fresh and your wound is raw. You need to be proud of yourself for having the restraint to step away and realizing that your dignity is of utmost importance.

 

It's a false sense of security when keeping track of an ex. Everytime you "don't" find something that hurts you, you feel secure that he's still there. But when you see something you don't want to, then what about that is "security"? All that once made you feel secure has become your devastation. The best way to feel secure is to step away and never know what's going on with them because what you do not know won't hurt you. That is security.

 

You will feel better. But, you must give yourself a fighting chance. Being attached to him and connected to him via FB would have always and consistently made you feel bad and you don't want that because it damages your sense of self. Do you really want this man to break you this way? The fact that you can remember at one point you were healing, is testament that you can get back there again. And trust me when I say that his new girlfriend will most likely go through the same thing. It's going to be just a matter of time. But that is not your concern because by the time that happens, you will be far long into your healing.

 

Please tell your friends to never mention him to you again. And if you still want to know, then sometimes you have to really hit rock bottom and when you do, just the mention of his name will send you running the other way. You almost become fearful because you're afraid to hurt yourself. When that feeling comes, you will protect yourself. I hope you have reached that stage.

i can't imagine going through something like that, I don't know what to say...i can't imagine it. Makes me wonder where is the justice in this world when some people get away with this.

 

I can't seem to stop being my own worst enemy. I have spent all day wondering what she looks like, driving myself crazy thinking about her. Oh you better believe i asked my friend which songs exactly he posted because I have to make everything as hard as possible for myself.( I guess it's kind of like you sitting in your car watching your ex.) I then, naturally, looked up the lyrics to both songs so that i could over analyze what they meant.

 

But i know even if he came back begging me, i could never be in a relationship with him again. the other times we split up, he used his kids as an excuse, but this time he was dating behind my back while telling me he loved me. And he was completely ignoring me and making me feel like i don't even exist. Which i found out is a horrible feeling.

 

I put up with a lot because i'm codependent, but to me cheating is the ultimate betrayal. I would never trust him or be able to get the thought of him and her out of my head. i would love nothing more than to be able to make it OK and somehow justify it in my mind. Believe me, i have been cheated on before and i have TRIED to work things out. I just can't cope with cheating. I know all this, and i know i have to stay away from him because he did something that was too horrible for me to rationalize away.

 

I do feel like i blocked him just in time. One more day and i would have seen it with my own eyes. It's the hardest thing to stay strong. I used to keep a journal, and I wrote down how great and wonderful my life was because this tool was back in it, and how much we love each other. Now the idea of keeping a journal is too much. Maybe one day. That's what sucks about journals. I was going through an old journal where apparently i was writing down what i was grateful for every day. And now a lot of those things like my parents health, and these awesome friends that by now moved away or died....I can't be grateful for half that stuff anymore.

 

At least he has no way to hurt me now. In the sense we live so far apart...facebook was really all he had left.

[nanbullen]

This is the contradiction. You CANNOT be friends with an ex, unless you are completely and utterly unemotional about them. Period.

 

How do you get over someone when you have to be witness to them moving on with their lives with someone new when you're dying inside wishing they were with you?

 

Yep. That about says it all right there. I dont even want to be friends with him in real life. it's just the security of having him *there* on facebook like we were connected still somehow.

[Citizen Erased]

Off topic but that is the strangest image of Anne Boleyn I've ever seen.

[nanbullen]

Why don't you just block him? It gives you the upper hand and it also prevents you from seeing the junk he posts. My ex did the same thing; used FB as a game and toyed with me. When I got upset, he would say "you need to get off FB, you're obsessed!"==cringe......He would block me, then unblock me to send me a message, block me again so I could not respond. He would friend me again, but restrict me from being able to post on his wall, restrict me further by preventing me from seeing his wall; just whatever he made public. He acted like he didn't know me and deleted anything I did post on his wall when things were great. He then blocked me a few times and then the last time was for good in October, 2010. He is a snake in the grass. Anyone who uses this to toy with people such as our ex's do are extremely immature. I am glad you are angry and not crying over him. He just made it easier for you to get over him. And he said he had to clear this up with 2 others? It;s probably his imaginary friends. Pay this child no mind.

You know, I picture you as someone very no-nonsense, no bulls*** and i'm surprised that you put up with someone like him. But I know all too well that love is blind. The things we justify to ourselves because we are afraid of not being loved!

 

Yeah, that's the one thing that makes me think I've made progress. I'm not crying. I'm just bummed out and sad, everything except tears. But a month ago I was a complete basket case. Maybe i'm just all cried out. I do realize that i was looking pathetic to him by being so accommodating to him. Like we could really be friends...puuhlease! I'm at a point where I think a lot about all the different ways I let him humiliate me....and i'm sick of looking like such a fool. At least i found my dignity. I'm not going to accept the honor of him letting me be his facebook friend. No thanks, I've spent enough time being treated like a dog by him when we were together. I'm certainly not going to do it when he's screwing somebody else. Let her enjoy ALL of his MANY qualities. She's his dog now.

[nanbullen]

Off topic but that is the strangest image of Anne Boleyn I've ever seen.

I'm telling you! There is like 1 or 2 actual paintings of her out there. I just found this on the web. I wanted something different, but a lot of pictures/drawings have her with a bloody neck or beheaded. I wanted one where she looked pretty, lol.

[nanbullen]

I'm going to stop saying things can't get any worse because they always do. I guess my ex just figured out i blocked him because he texted me to say he was clarifying that those videos were goodbye videos to someone else and i was letting my imagination run away with me again and he doesn't know why i blocked him. Well, here i just finished patting myself on the back about how i blocked him without any explanation. I was in control and he was confused. But now i find out he thinks i blocked him because i saw the videos and pictures he put up! He doesn't know I blocked him before I even knew about them!

 

So he gets to feel good and think he screwed me over once again, and that I blocked him because I'm so in love I cant bear to see him with another woman. I just can't win.

 

yeah i do realize he's just saying whatever he thinks will pacify me because if his relationship is on the skids then he needs me. The thing is, just hearing about her...in any context..i don't care if they are breaking up...my blood starts to boil. I feel like i'm going to start throwing things. Now that I know for a fact that she exists, her pictures are up, videos, whatever.....I can't talk to him. It's not that i'm trying to punish him, it's irrational fury. There is no way i could possibly answer any text from him. Before, this morning, i kind of convinced myself that they were just friends who maybe slept together once or twice. But this is completely different.

 

I am so sick of him making me look like an a**. Why didn't i block him even one day earlier? Why wont he just leave me ALONE so i can go on with my life? It's like he thinks i'm there for him to use and then throw away like garbage when he is done. I will NEVER forget how he ignored my calls and texts while i was begging him to answer me. He knew how he was making me feel like I wasn't even worth acknowledging my existence, and he enjoyed it.

[BewitchedandBothered]

You know, I picture you as someone very no-nonsense, no bulls*** and i'm surprised that you put up with someone like him. But I know all too well that love is blind. The things we justify to ourselves because we are afraid of not being loved!

 

Yeah, that's the one thing that makes me think I've made progress. I'm not crying. I'm just bummed out and sad, everything except tears. But a month ago I was a complete basket case. Maybe i'm just all cried out. I do realize that i was looking pathetic to him by being so accommodating to him. Like we could really be friends...puuhlease! I'm at a point where I think a lot about all the different ways I let him humiliate me....and i'm sick of looking like such a fool. At least i found my dignity. I'm not going to accept the honor of him letting me be his facebook friend. No thanks, I've spent enough time being treated like a dog by him when we were together. I'm certainly not going to do it when he's screwing somebody else. Let her enjoy ALL of his MANY qualities. She's his dog now.

 

I was 'groomed' early on; he was charming, sweet and kind; tailor made himself to me. I was in too deep by this time, hoping maybe it was a phase he was going through and that maybe the guy I fell for would 'come back'. I learned a lot from that debacle. And anytime I called him out on his nonsense, he turned the tables as if it was all my fault. It was quite the mind trick---after awhile, I started to believe it was my fault!!! Luckily, I met a lady during that time who pulled me out of that situation. At that time, she was the only person I could talk to about this--she was going through the same thing. I became quite hardened and no nonsense after that. And when I see others go through it, I want to rescue them.

[BewitchedandBothered]

I'm going to stop saying things can't get any worse because they always do. I guess my ex just figured out i blocked him because he texted me to say he was clarifying that those videos were goodbye videos to someone else and i was letting my imagination run away with me again and he doesn't know why i blocked him. Well, here i just finished patting myself on the back about how i blocked him without any explanation. I was in control and he was confused. But now i find out he thinks i blocked him because i saw the videos and pictures he put up! He doesn't know I blocked him before I even knew about them!

 

So he gets to feel good and think he screwed me over once again, and that I blocked him because I'm so in love I cant bear to see him with another woman. I just can't win.

 

yeah i do realize he's just saying whatever he thinks will pacify me because if his relationship is on the skids then he needs me. The thing is, just hearing about her...in any context..i don't care if they are breaking up...my blood starts to boil. I feel like i'm going to start throwing things. Now that I know for a fact that she exists, her pictures are up, videos, whatever.....I can't talk to him. It's not that i'm trying to punish him, it's irrational fury. There is no way i could possibly answer any text from him. Before, this morning, i kind of convinced myself that they were just friends who maybe slept together once or twice. But this is completely different.

 

I am so sick of him making me look like an a**. Why didn't i block him even one day earlier? Why wont he just leave me ALONE so i can go on with my life? It's like he thinks i'm there for him to use and then throw away like garbage when he is done. I will NEVER forget how he ignored my calls and texts while i was begging him to answer me. He knew how he was making me feel like I wasn't even worth acknowledging my existence, and he enjoyed it.

 

He has proven his immaturity time and time again==he is not a true man; he is a boy. I finally had the nerve to block my ex----but I felt guilty about it and unblocked him....he must have been watching/waiting because when i lifted the block, he blocked me for the final time. I felt like I had lost control and gave it to him. He is dating someone; supposedly in love...but...I found out he is still trolling the dating sites...he is HER problem now, just like your ex is someone else's problem. A leopard does not change his spots. She will see him for what he is also. It's pathetic how he uses FB for a mind game against you. Don't reply to his texts. If it's sooooo over, why did he save your number? To mess with your mind.

[nanbullen]

He has proven his immaturity time and time again==he is not a true man; he is a boy. I finally had the nerve to block my ex----but I felt guilty about it and unblocked him....he must have been watching/waiting because when i lifted the block, he blocked me for the final time. I felt like I had lost control and gave it to him. He is dating someone; supposedly in love...but...I found out he is still trolling the dating sites...he is HER problem now, just like your ex is someone else's problem. A leopard does not change his spots. She will see him for what he is also. It's pathetic how he uses FB for a mind game against you. Don't reply to his texts. If it's sooooo over, why did he save your number? To mess with your mind.

 

He kept my number because i am an emotional tampon for him, and he likes the idea of having me around to use when he needs to. It's obvious. A month ago, when he met this woman, he wouldn't speak to me period. Now that there's trouble he can text me nonstop. I didn't answer any of his texts. At one point he actually said that he never broke up with me, it was just me letting my imagination run wild like always. No, he technically never "broke up", he just stopped speaking to me and let me call and text him like a fool for days, until I finally gave up. So i guess this is my imagination! We've been together all this time!

 

Your ex is like mine who is also a master manipulator. He turns the tables, and spins everything around until he would have me apologizing for him ignoring me. And the few times I held my ground he would start yelling at me like i was a child too stupid to understand anything. If i answered his texts, he would convince that the grass is blue and the sky is green.

 

And i would have answered his texts in a heart beat. This past month I dreamed of him calling to say he wanted to be with me. For weeks, every time the phone rang my heart would start racing, hoping it was him. He could have done anything, and i would have forgiven him. Except for cheating on me. Now i am fixated, literally fixated on this other woman. I can't think of anything but her and him together. What does he see in her? is she good in bed? Better than me?Does she have a nicer body than me? is she more interesting? I picture them having sex. I woke up in the middle of the night angry that he is breaking up with her better than he broke up with me! Can you believe it? i'm jealous of how he's breaking up with her!! I'm mad that she gets a send off with love song videos, inspirational quotes, pictures.....when he broke up with me he just stopped answering my calls. I am consumed with anger.

 

There is just no way back from this. All these years i thought he was my true love and one reason was because i trusted him completely, I never suspected or even thought he could do something like that to me. I thought what we had went way beyond that. If he can come up with a way for me to be able rationalize this, i'd believe him. But there's no way, because I've already tried to rationalize it and I can't.

 

I see a lot of posters here saying they love unconditionally....but I don't think that they stop to think what that really means to love unconditionally. To stand by and love somebody no matter what they did. I think a parent is able to love a child unconditionally but that's about it. If my daughter, god forbid, was accused of being a serial killer i would still love her. if my boyfriend or husband was accused of being a serial killer....not so much. My ex was big on asking me if i love him unconditionally, and i would say that i loved him almost unconditionally.

 

My prediction is, after I didn't answer his texts yesterday, he's not going to try to contact me for a while, hoping i'll break down and call him. It's like good cop/ bad cop. Being nice didn't work, so now he's going to see if acting like he doesn't care works. If that doesn't work he'll start trying to hurt me by finding some way to throw his girlfriend in my face.

[CopingGal]

. So i guess this is my imagination! We've been together all this time!

 

Your ex is like mine who is also a master manipulator. He turns the tables, and spins everything around until he would have me apologizing for him ignoring me. And the few times I held my ground he would start yelling at me like i was a child too stupid to understand anything. If i answered his texts, he would convince that the grass is blue and the sky is green.

 

 

Your ex sounds a lot like mine...the manipulation and how he made facebook very unpleasant for me. He used facebook to further his agenda towards me. But I decided that I'm starting a new life and facebook is not part of it. Kudos to me for never asking my boyfriend back and for keeping NC. My ex use to do things to me and then turn them around to try to make me think that things were my fault. My ex only took responsibility for things when it furthered his agenda. He has no remorse for things and that is very scary. People who have no remorse may do just about anything if they are not afraid to get caught. I practice NC DAILY!

[nanbullen]

Your ex sounds a lot like mine...the manipulation and how he made facebook very unpleasant for me. He used facebook to further his agenda towards me. But I decided that I'm starting a new life and facebook is not part of it. Kudos to me for never asking my boyfriend back and for keeping NC. My ex use to do things to me and then turn them around to try to make me think that things were my fault. My ex only took responsibility for things when it furthered his agenda. He has no remorse for things and that is very scary. People who have no remorse may do just about anything if they are not afraid to get caught. I practice NC DAILY!

 

I wouldn't say my ex used facebook against me to the extent yours did. He didn't say anything back when i first unfriended him. If he even noticed, I'm sure he didn't care because he was all into his first relationship. What I think happened is, this new relationship started going bad, so he decided to mend fences with me, so i'd be there waiting for him just in case, he tried to look up my profile to pick up some clue to my state of mind, and then realized I had unfriended him. What i can't figure out is why he thought starting all this drama and throwing this b***h in my face would make me want him back?Did he think I would be jealous and want him more? he thinks i have so little self respect that he can be openly cruel to me and i'll still take him back?

 

All I know is i am a total wreck! I feel even worse today than yesterday...how is that possible? I had some small problem getting a prescription filled today, normally no big deal, but today i totally lost it. I barely made it to my car before i started sobbing! All day long, I have barely been able to cope with the most routine things! i was completely distracted at work. I can't stop thinking about him and this girl! I guess all along i could have this fantasy that he would come back one day....a changed man. He would do everything right, realize how much he loved me and sweep me off my feet. I know that it was ridiculous, and i didn't expect it to happen, I knew he would never change. But it was like a fairy-tale, do you know what i mean? And now even that's gone, because he could change everything about himself but he can't undo the past, so no matter what he did to change, he would always be somebody who told me he loved me at the same time as he was cheating on me.

 

God will this day never end?

[Sophie99]

Agreed, Facebook is torture with me, still being at school/college, everyone one in the year is friends with everyone. I'd have to delete a good half of my friends list to never hear about anything he's doing..

[CopingGal]

 

But it was like a fairy-tale, do you know what i mean? And now even that's gone, because he could change everything about himself but he can't undo the past, so no matter what he did to change, he would always be somebody who told me he loved me at the same time as he was cheating on me.

 

God will this day never end?

 

 

I think you should take some time and really think about the relationship. If this guy was a prince, he wouldn't be doing these things to you. My ex threw the woman he cheated on me with in my face. She was an old, ignorant red neck who was a recovering alcoholic. My ex got pleasure out of throwing her in my face even though he had disrepected me beyond belief. I felt like I would never ever get over the pain he caused me. But I'm telling you, it does get better. I cry about once a month now, maybe less.

 

Also, because you are so upset, little things going wrong may seem big. Just be patient with yourself. If you go NC now, in 2 months you will feel better. That may seem like a long time from now, but it's better than being in pain forever.

[nanbullen]

Agreed, Facebook is torture with me, still being at school/college, everyone one in the year is friends with everyone. I'd have to delete a good half of my friends list to never hear about anything he's doing..

 

I feel awful for your generation and younger, that have to grow up with facebook and can't escape it. I can see so many downsides to never being able to escape your past. For one thing, when I was in college i could be crazy and not have all my business up on facebook the next day. And if my parents had facebook too? LOL....I would have been grounded all through high school!

 

And break up up's were SO MUCH EASIER when you had no idea what your ex was doing. The compulsion to keep tabs on facebook is such a hard obstacle to overcome, but you will NEVER heal until you stop.

[nanbullen]

I think you should take some time and really think about the relationship. If this guy was a prince, he wouldn't be doing these things to you. My ex threw the woman he cheated on me with in my face. She was an old, ignorant red neck who was a recovering alcoholic. My ex got pleasure out of throwing her in my face even though he had disrepected me beyond belief. I felt like I would never ever get over the pain he caused me. But I'm telling you, it does get better. I cry about once a month now, maybe less.

 

Also, because you are so upset, little things going wrong may seem big. Just be patient with yourself. If you go NC now, in 2 months you will feel better. That may seem like a long time from now, but it's better than being in pain forever.

 

I know! I had my friend who told me all this, copy his new gf's picture and email it to me! Yes, I know it was beyond stupid, but i had to know what she looked like or I was going to crazy imagining a gorgeous goddess. and i knew if she was just getting out of a 35 year marriage she may not be all that hot. Well she's got a frizzy perm, yes in 2012 i didn't know people still got those kind of perms, she looks like a middle-aged hick, wearing wraparound sunglasses. I would never look at her twice....but since he picked her over me, it doesn't make me feel any better that I think she's ugly. Obviously, to him she's beautiful. So it was just another stupid thing to do....didn't make me feel better, just worse.

 

I was NC for 2-3 weeks and i already felt better. My mistake was that i was too weak to block him on facebook. I unfriended him but i could still see enough info, and he could see enough of mine, and he contacted me because of something on my fb and by the time i realized i had to block him it was a day too late. I'm telling you, there is NO WAY to heal as long as you can keep up with him in any way shape or form on facebook. I didn't want to believe it because i didn't want to block him, but it's true. It's like the reason you can't heal is the same reason why you have to keep that person on fb. It's because I just couldn't let go completely.