Vodka Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 I have been hanging out with this guy. I have posted about him before and how much he confuses me. Basically, we flirt, he will touch or hit me somehow, we can make jokes and bug each other, we get along really well and have similar interests. But, no move has been made yet. He keeps seeing me so he has to like me in some way right? Anyways, we were texting the other night and he said how he was bored tonite and 'life kinda sucks', so I said go out and live life! maybe you will meet your future wife out there! And he says HAHAH, nah. I said don't you want to meet someone and he replied yes and no. I asked why yes and why no and he replied yes because his life would suck less and no because it seems like a waste of time, what's the point, nothing ever works out in the end....(he has been cheated on in the past and hurt)...could this be why he is not making any move towards me? Then fast forward to last night we were texting and I told him tonite that he must have an opinion of me by now from us having hung out and he said I am a good person and I am a lot of fun to hang out with.* I sucked it up and asked if he thinks he will or could ever think of me as more than a friend and he replied with 'I dont know'...I said look, we have known each other long enough that we can say anything to each other, so don't be afraid of hurting my feelings, and he replied that he was being honest, that he didn't know. So either, 1) he was lying, which from what I know of him for the last 1.5 years he is blunt and says it like it is* OR 2) I was friendzoned OR* 3) he is waiting around for me to lose some weight. I know some will frown on this and tell me to get some self confidence, but I do believe this to be true. I shouldn't be expected to be attracted to an obese man just because we get along so well, so why should I expect he can be attracted to me how I am now. We get along so well in all other aspects that I am sure if I were 40lbs lighter this would be a non-issue. This is not being not self confident, this is me being realistic. A guy friend told me that a girl can meet a guy and know instantly if she wants to be with someone and that a guy takes time to figure it out. But I doubt that.* So, I suppose it is both a positive and a negative. He was honest in saying he doesn't know which at least it is not a NO, and a negative for the obvious reason. That being said, I am definitely not waiting around for him to change his mind or am dwelling on it and not seeing anyone else, because I will and have if the opportunity presents itself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vodka Posted June 7, 2012 Author Share Posted June 7, 2012 no one? Link to post Share on other sites
Solo34 Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 no one? If you think it's your looks, post a picture so the fellas can give you an accurate and honest opinion. Some big girls look good, some don't. Guys know instantly if they wanna do a chick, so don't think we don't. We're visual creatures. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vodka Posted June 7, 2012 Author Share Posted June 7, 2012 anyone else? Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Maybe he likes you, obviously enjoys your company very much, values you as a friend but you are not the type of girl he is usually attracted to. If that is the case, he may feel confused and really not know where it's going to lead. However, if he's not making a move, I would cool off and back off. Lead your own life and give him the time and space to sort out his feelings for himself. If you fall into the trap of trying to get him to declare his (confused) feelings for you, he's just going to get more mixed up and may start to feel cornered. He needs to find out for himself whether his attraction for you is going to keep pulling him back regardless of how much freedom you are giving him. The more you give him at the moment, the better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
picaso28 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 i am afraid I would say he has sort of friendzoned you but in a nice way as he likes you and values your friendship. As I guy, if a girl I liked asked me that question I would have sent something back flirty and sort of took the conversation further into romantic territory I would sort of remain friends but try to move on if you can. PS - I very much doubt it is weight to be honest. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 He's prolly trying to avoid honesty just in case you do lose weight. If he tells you that youre friend zoned now, you might never look at him again if you lost weight, he doesnt want to take that chance. Its stupid, but it sounds to me like thats what he's doing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vodka Posted June 16, 2012 Author Share Posted June 16, 2012 I just don't get him. Just when I've decided he just wants to be friends and has no interest in me other than friends, he starts up with the stuff below: I had mentioned that I wasn't feeling well and he asked what was up and I said oh, I just think I am getting my period soon and he goes Oh! You know what the means! I said no? He said it's anal time! Then last night I texted him asking if I could come over and borrow a pillow (long story, don't ask) and he said but you have 2 nice pillows, why don't you use them? I got confused and said what pillows? And he said YOUR nice pillows (making a reference to my large boobs), I said uh, they aren't that big and they aren't that nice and he said they looked and felt big when I touched them (we wrestled a bit and he copped a feel- over top of clothing). Then I kind of dismissed this and said can I borrow a pillow or not? And he said what are you gonna give me? And I said nothing lol. So, I get this is joking around but he obviously likes me personality. Why joke around with me like this if you aren't into me physically? Link to post Share on other sites
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