scatterd Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 What has happened to Marriage Marriage is suppose to be a commitment to love, honor, cherish and keep yourself only unto each Other through sickness and in health until death do you part. It seems that so many people do not take a marriage seriously that if they have problems all they have to do is get divorced or go be hide their mates back and cheat. Not only the people that are married have no regards for Marriage but other men and woman outside have no respect for their marriage. It seems that so many people have a false perception of how relationships are suppose to be after they say I Do. As the saying goes its not just a bowl of cherries there is ups and downs and it takes work with Anyone your with. If you trade in one person for another you have a whole new set of problems. In time the newness wears off and responsibilities set in such as work, cleaning, taking care of Children and so on. No matter who you are with the newness wears off and the wild sex becomes More of making love. The best way to ruin a Marriage is to share yourself with another man or Woman and being secretive, relationships are based on trust and if you can not trust your partnerThen all aspects of the marriage suffer. If you think going out and finding the parts that’s missing From your marriage will make you feel better then your just fooling yourself another person does Fill that void that you need from your mate. If this other person really cared for you they would They would talk to you and send you home to your wife or husband. Cheating hurts everyone notJust husband and wife but children, family, friends and the other person. Why get married if you your going to cheat or beat up your loved one and not work on fixing your problems with the onebyou promised to love till Death do you part. How can we knock polygamist when at least their Honest with each other? Why marry at all If you cant keep your promise. I know there is some Good marriages but why are their so many that don’t work now days have we forgot how to be Honest. Really what has Happened to Marriage 4 Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 It's a fast food world now. Link to post Share on other sites
Avery Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 Marriage is fine. And thriving. It's just who you surround yourself with. I barely know anyone divorced. This board makes me sad sometimes.. because it has increasingly over the years become "pro Affair". but I don't think the world at large is pro affair. Just read the papers. People (celebrities and politicians) are constantly being berated/blacballed/etc. Because there are some good people out there who still believe in the sanctity of marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 In most parts of the world, marriage is an agreed-upon legal and social decision. As legalities and society have changed, so has marriage. As an example, I've witnessed a number of marriages (weddings) where the vows (Marriage is suppose to be a commitment to love, honor, cherish and keep yourself only unto each Other through sickness and in health until death do you part) described in the OP don't exist. Violating the agreement of the parties through abandonment or affair are a few of the changes which have taken place, along with the agreement changing/evolving for some couples. I can say that I do like, perhaps reflecting my unchanged perspective on such matters, the lack of ambiguity which the wedding band/ring endows the dynamic with. When I see a lady wearing a wedding ring, I presume she is married and unavailable. Ringless ladies are quite rare in these parts, indicating that, at least superficially, marriage is alive and well around here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scatterd Posted June 6, 2012 Author Share Posted June 6, 2012 I have seen so many marriages not work but also seen a few that do.It seems that the ones I have seen work were Grandparents and some in my parents generation.I have noticed so much more divorces now It is sad that so many don't work.I think that its because its so easy to get divorced then its is to make it work. I don't think its who I am around because I know allot of people from different walks of life. Times do change and I have big respect for the ones that have stayed married. I don't know what the statistics are on divorce but what I have witnessed I would think high. Maybe I am wrong if so I got off the wrong bus some where and need to find a better place to be. Link to post Share on other sites
irin Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 selfishness, feeling of entitlement, the concept of marriage being over romanticised, its seems as though people think being married, you always have to be super in-love, they dont want the honeymoon faze to end, when it does the novelty wears off, there must be something wrong that the so called "spark" is gone, reality checks in. the difficulty of day to day life gets blamed on the marriage which leads to the man/women acting out, cheating, abusing, leaving, ect so on! Link to post Share on other sites
Author scatterd Posted June 7, 2012 Author Share Posted June 7, 2012 This is so true with any relationship the newness wears off. If all of us cheated because of this no one would be happily married. Some people are realistic about this and dont base their marriage only on sex.Every marriage has ups and downs and the ones that work on it have close relationships that last, Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Unfortunately, people have developed the attitude that marriage is not for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, until death. They're only in it when it's going well, and as soon as problems arise, or shortly thereafter, they feel no reason to honor their commitment. They want the quick fix, and they think divorce is what will give it to them. Of course, they're in denial about the fact that negative stuff will come up in future relationships as well. Also, infidelity is what drives a lot of people to divorce, and it is, unfortunately, existent in a lot of marriages. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't value their marriage enough not to risk losing it, or they have a selfish attitude that they can do what they want, regardless of the promises they made. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 gays do it. their mor fathfil Gay people are not immune to relationship break ups or unfaithfulness. I don't know what the statistics are, but the statistics are probably similar to heterosexual couples. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 It is going the way of the dodo. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 selfishness, feeling of entitlement, the concept of marriage being over romanticised, its seems as though people think being married, you always have to be super in-love, they dont want the honeymoon faze to end, when it does the novelty wears off, there must be something wrong that the so called "spark" is gone, reality checks in. the difficulty of day to day life gets blamed on the marriage which leads to the man/women acting out, cheating, abusing, leaving, ect so on! Agreed that most people have an over-romanticized view of marriage (you can thank hollywood for that). Besides, marriage is an institution inherited from a bygone era and is becoming increasingly obsolete in our modern, post-feminist society. Modern day marriage is basically a socialist wealth redistribution scheme. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 OP, for what it's worth, there are still people that value marriage in the way you described. After my wife had an affair, I lost sight of that and had my own affair to balance the scales. It was extremely short-sighted of me because the reality is that my vows were for better or worse, until death do us part and I wish I had kept my vows regardless of the fact that she broke hers. I find myself returning to that same state where I valued marriage in the same light I used to. I'm glad my loss of sanity was temporary. Anyway, just saying that there are others like you that see it this way. But I certainly agree that people in general seem far too entitled to instant gratification and that short-term view doesn't bode well for marriage. Whatever your situation, I hope that your view stays with you and that a bitter view of marriage doesn't persist. The longevity of it is what makes it special that way. Other "marriages" don't ever get to that point so I suppose they don't know what they are missing. You appear to be one of the wiser ones that does know what the long-term can look like. Good luck to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
paperboy48 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Go to a kids baseball game and all you'll see is married couples. They might not all be happy but their married Link to post Share on other sites
maybealone Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 I think it's dangerous to judge marriage and divorce by what is seen and heard. Unless you are half of the couple, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Alcoholism, neglect, etc. aren't always seen by anyone outside of the home. Link to post Share on other sites
The Blue Knight Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 Gay people are not immune to relationship break ups or unfaithfulness. I don't know what the statistics are, but the statistics are probably similar to heterosexual couples. Actually my experience with gay individuals is that they are far more promiscuous than most heterosexuals. There are some studies that suggest as much. Statistics on sexual promiscuity among homosexuals | homosexual partner statistics | Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry Link to post Share on other sites
The Blue Knight Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 A couple of people have already said it here. Fast food lifestyle that we've all adoptedInstant need for gratificationOverall selfishness in our beliefs and values (all about me) We no longer put what's right ahead of what we perceive to be as our needs and wants. The end result is marriage is just a social contract with an expiration date soon to be realized if anything in the marriage is missing. Link to post Share on other sites
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