Not sure what this is...kind long but read

[karenina21]

I just started a new job two months ago. It's a professional financial services position, however the department's people are both serious about their jobs and serious about fun. My new manager is a little bit younger than me (I'm in my 30's). At first I thought nothing of him, but over the past several weeks have noticed that he looks at me a lot (I feel his eyes on me and sometimes catch him looking at me), smiles wide from under his brow with twinkling eyes, fidgets in my presence, fiddles with the top buttons on his shirt, touches his face a lot when I'm near him, laughs heartily at my jokes, teases me playfully about the colors I wear, mirrors my movements, asks me a lot of questions about myself, and last week when sitting with me going over something he bumped my knee twice. He also doesn't move his hand if I put mine too close to his if I reach for a file or something.

 

Yet sometimes he'll act a bit standoffish, but I notice this most often on days he is really busy or is meeting with his own boss. I think he's cute and he knows his stuff when it comes to leading my team. He knows how to act professional and serious when he needs to be, and has always been very respectful of my work and opinions. He asks me a lot about myself. He notices and compliments my hair, nails or jewelry. When I wore a skirt to work he seemed to pay much more attention to me. In team meetings he will lean toward me even if I'm not talking, and he'll always watch my face to see if I laugh at a joke. I don't see him treating the other women in the office like this.

 

He's mentioned he has a girlfriend but there are no pictures of her and he does not talk much about her. He's gun-shy about getting married, but won't elaborate. I recently finished graduate school and when he mentioned he wanted to go himself, I told him he should join his girlfriend at her school, but he kind of shrugged it off. He said he had a seven year plan for life and that he and his girlfriend had been together for six years and lived together. I sometimes get the feeling he may not be the happiest with her, but it's hard to tell since he doesn't mention her at all, yet they are selling their house.

 

Sometimes after work I talk with some of my coworkers and my boss. A few times, the others will leave and I'll still be talking to my boss about all kinds of things. He seems to want to keep the conversation going. I know he's a very busy guy but he keeps asking me questions and is very interested in what I say. He smiles at me a lot during these times when we're alone. His eyes sparkle. He perches on his chair and crosses his leg toward me. He laughs easily.

 

Today, that happened again. We talked for almost an hour about all kinds of things - my love and fear of motorcycles, my tattoos, my love of writing, music, all kinds of stuff. And he shared things with me, too - asking me the meanings behind my tattoos, saying he could see that underneath the conservative exterior is a punky rebel and adding that he liked it. He showed me his keys because he noticed my crazy key ring, and said he was more linear. When I said I thought he wasn't all that way, that there was some rebel in him too and that I was surprised he didn't have tattoos, he said he didn't see the value of permanently putting something onto his skin. I asked him why.

 

That's when things got a bit intense. We looked right into each other's eyes and he held that gaze for longer than was necessary. Something flashed between us there as I explained the reasons behind my tattoos. I told him I wanted a dove as my next one. He wanted to know the reason behind the dove. He fingered my keys and asked why I had so many and smiled at the colors on the chain because he teases me about my love of color. He asked about the book I was holding. He took it, read the back cover, and leafed through it all the while asking me about my history writing that I used to do.

 

Things got a little weird at that point. In my excitement I blurted out, "Would you like to read it?" He paused a bit, then said, gently, "I'd love to, but I really don't have time." I instantly apologized for keeping him, but he kind of waved his hands in a "don't worry" kind of way, but kept repeating earnestly, "I really want to. I really do." Then he added, "But one thing at a time, you know?" And once again we looked at each other. I stammered that I had to go and bid him good night.

 

What happened there? I felt almost as if he was really responding to more than the question I'd asked. As if I'd asked him out - which I hadn't - and he was saying more than just about the writing, but about the two of us. I can't explain this feeling - perhaps I've read too much into it, but it was just one of those things where the eyes tell all.

 

I'm not looking for anyone - especially not my manager as I know that's totally taboo - but there's just something about this guy, and not because he's the boss. It's just something I feel, regardless of my circumstances.

 

So does he like me, and how do I stop the sexual tension I feel with him?

[crazylove]

Until such a time as he may/may not finish with his live in girlfriend, this guy should be off limits for you.